Frame at the Wheel

Posted on August 30, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

This is my submission into the three hundred-and-sixty-second Lens-Artists Photo Challenge. The theme for this one is “Sports, Sporting Events and Fun Games“.

I took this photo specifically for the challenge. I wanted to get back on the bike during the week and planned to take a photo of it somewhere. That didn’t eventuate for many reasons – it has been a pretty full-on week – so I instead took a photo of part of the bike when I got home from work one day.

I feel this photo counts. It’s perhaps a little sad in the way the what is visible feels untouched for a while, but it’s still of something used for sport.

The host of the Lens-Artists challenges cycles weekly between the following people:

Tina

Patti

Ann-Christine aka Leya

John Steiner

Sofia Alves

Anne Sandler

Egídio

Ritva

Beth

This one is curated by Beth. The next one is curated by Anne.

I recommend joining the community and participating in the challenges. They’re pretty straightforward, allow room for interpretation, and provide a good way to think about photography in general. If not, however, then at the very least you should check out what others submit to the challenges.

I hope you enjoy.

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Following the Fence

Posted on August 30, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

Another photo similar to one I’ve previously taken. A little different, but a little the same.

I’m looking at this and I feel I’m going to have to return to get another photo. I think I should’ve taken this form a lower angle.

This is my submission into Leanne Cole‘s “Monochrome Madness” for this week. The next one is hosted by Elke of Pictures Imperfect Blog, and she has chosen “Pets” as the theme.

This challenge is open to all, and I recommend joining in. If want to, check out more information about it here, and include the tag “monochrome-madness” when you share your photo. If you’d prefer not to join in, then at the least check out Leanne’s photography, and what other people submit.

I hope you enjoy.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1534: Start on a New Day

Posted on August 29, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

Alright, it’s time to start on a new day. Linkin Park is playing on the radio and things feel old and new at the same time. Misery waves wash on over but I’m alive. I’m kicking. I’ve things to do and I feel important. Well, maybe not exactly important, but I feel alright. Miserable and alright. What a mix. What a concoction.

Cars go on by outside of this interior, and the sun is out. It is cold but it will warm up, and I am here to experience it. Might not be later; might be at work, but right now I am here, and here is fine enough. Here is a good way to start. It’s better than not being here. So long as the atmosphere remains good. So long as it remains nice.

Time passes and things change, and we float on through it all, hoping to carve out our own little space. We hope to just live and stay comfortable, and we hope to get to the end in one piece. There is so much to be worried about right now and it’s all going to come visit us. Everything is going to come, and not at once and new worries will be added, but right now, in this moment of time, I feel alright. I feel okay. I feel like shit, but I feel alright.

It’s a bit of a strange space to be in, I think, but this could be worse. This could be so much worse right now. Of course I mean on a personal level because there’s plenty of great things out there, but many things are fucking awful right now and it’s not good. But today feels fine. Today feels like a small island and I am taking it easy before I need to go to wherever I go next. I can do this. I can get through it all. I can keep on going, and I’ll keep on going.

Even if I couldn’t, I still would. There’s constantly so much to still see and do, and that drives me. The eternal bucket list I’ll never complete because it keeps on growing. It’s great. But more importantly, what drives me is the fact that I’m alive, and I’m fortunate.

I’m fortunate for having people in my life who care about me, and I’m fortunate enough to be liked and respected by my work colleagues. It’s a good thing, I think. Well, it’s a good thing because I’m doing something I feel is worthwhile. If I was respected for being an asshole, I’d feel miserable. If I had ethical and moral concerns about my work, I would not find myself fortunate to be liked and respected by my colleagues.

So things are shit, but they’re also good and I’m chugging along. I’m doing okay. And today feels like it’ll be a good day. Today feels like I’ll get through it and wake up tomorrow morning, and maybe with a little more sleep too.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 06:53:88

Decent speed, ultimately positive writing. Not bad.

Written at Dirty Red.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1533: Writing About Me

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

I was going to write about my ex but I don’t want to. I don’t want to keep writing about me. I’ve done it enough over the years. I’ve done it enough through the various forms of struggle. I’ve done it enough over the past months. I’m done with it.

A lot of writing is about the self, even when it’s not directly about. A lot of writing says something about someone, whether they intend it to or not. You get a lot of viewpoints and those kinds of things. I’m just tired of writing so blatantly about myself, however. It’s tiring. I’m tired.

There are so many things out there that are worth exploring and I’ve done enough of that when it comes to me. I’ve done enough introspection. I’ve done enough realising about where I went wrong in my relationship and realising that my ex is not going to take accountability for her actions, or actually talk about taking accountability for them, and there’s nothing I can do about that. And it hurts; it hurts like hell because there often felt like a lot of judging and resentment and guilting. A lot of lack of interest in what I was doing outside of work. And there’s nothing I can do about that at this point, and I don’t see a reason to write about it so much at the moment. But I’m compelled to, or rather, the desire to keep crapping on about it is there, but it doesn’t serve me. It doesn’t serve anyone. I’m not offering anything that is worth the time.

In front of me are a series of lines and shapes forming structure that I recognise as the interior of a building. I recognise this for what it is on a surface level, and I recognise that a structure is more than just its constituent components. A structure gains meaning that extends beyond its shape and form, and its meaning is as still as it is constantly moving. This is what it is. But right now what this is is something that is a structure that I recognise as a building, and that’s fine. That’s interesting. That still is worth talking about in some way. This is something that goes beyond me, and it goes a long way as a temporary landmark.

But right now I keep feeling the need to write about myself and my getting dumped, even though I don’t want to. And it sucks because I still love her. Despite all the hurt caused, and despite the unfortunately real possibility that she lied about loving me near the end, I still love her deeply, and I miss her. I miss someone who won’t engage with me but keeps looking at what I’m doing on social media, and it’s all sorts of confusing and fucked, and I don’t want to be involved with it anymore, and maybe I can’t force my way away from everything. Maybe I can’t write about something else.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 08:50:90

I was meant to upload this yesterday. Fatigue reared its head. And so on, and forth so.

I don’t think I wrote anything decent here. It didn’t need to be said, but I said it.

Written at work.

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Ready Citrus

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

In my current backyard there’s a few citrus-bearing plants, such as this one.

I hope you enjoy.

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Robert Fripp: Pie Jesu

Posted on August 25, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

One listen.

It took a while to get started here, and it shows. I like that I was touching on things here and there, and I like what was coming forward toward the end, however.

Robert Fripp’s “Pie Jesu” is from The Wine of Silence. Or rather, I should say this version of the song as there’s a few. This one was performed by Metropole Orkest and conducted by Andrew Keeling.

I hope you enjoy.

—

Strings murmuring, waking. There’s light falling over a space. There’s a new day. The strings lap on over, come in new and meld into the body. They grow loud; they grow quiet. They paint imagery; they paint mood.

Something comes a little more forward and it’s as though a gentle breeze as the eyes look toward the horizon. Looking and wandering what lies beyond, and it could be by the sea. It could be looking across the land. It could be looking inward.

The form of it all changes and remains unchanging. These sounds spread outward and inward, and look for something. Perhaps this is something reverential, and perhaps it is not. There are a lot of emotions in this; a lot of moods and shapes and stories. A lot of everything and trying to understand it all. Perhaps the human condition condensed into minutes.

There’s an intensity coming forward; a passion, and the body grows. The body increases and so does the expression of sound. It sweeps and brushes, and wraps around. It comforts and it caresses, and it leaves emptiness and isolation. It grows weighted, heavy. It draws out and it’s almost longing. It’s almost longing and looking for something it cannot have; Trying to touch something it cannot reach.

The sounds push out, thicken like a mighty tree, growing grand and beautiful, they remain coalesced into a form. A weight and the drama surrounding it, holding attention due to the sight it presents, and a leaf breaks off and falls away, falling down slowly as everything changes in a sweep of brief violence, and that leaf keeps falling, and it falls into silence at the song’s end.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1532: Rambling on a Lack of Sleep

Posted on August 22, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

So I’m sitting in a cafe not far from work. About two minutes of walking, actually. Not far at all. I’m sitting here, I’m tired. I’m worn out. Not enough sleep. It was worth it, or rather this lack of sleep is worth it, today. I’ll probably hit the wall sometime in the afternoon, but for now I’m chugging along. I’m firing on some cylinders.

Last night went well enough, I think, but I don’t know if my heart was in it or not. I took the photos as though by a natural, reflexive and instinctual process. Didn’t feel much of anything, but I didn’t come out of it feeling less about it, and maybe that’s a good thing. Probably a neutral thing. Possibly a thing thing.

I’m sitting here and I’m thinking of the process of life, and if I’m allowing myself enough time to process photos. I’ve given a timeline for when they should be expected and I know I can do it, but I’m wondering if I actually can. Probably. Will be making small adjustments, big adjustments, and nothing I’m unfamiliar with, but I’m good at missing the goals I set and put forward, so all of this remains to be seen. For now.

When I think about going to another gig, I’m a little stressed. I’m a little worried. At the current moment there’s something in me saying I should do this again. Should I do this again? Should I keep going? I still carry a lot of that self-doubt, because of course one night isn’t going to miraculously change everything. I want to and I don’t want to try again. It’s a constant mixed bag of things and I’m constantly fighting myself on this. It’s not a good way to be. At the same time, in writing this I’m realising I’m just dealing with forms of indecision, so that’s a thing.

I’m sitting here, it’s miserable outside but that’s okay. There are worse places to be, worse things to experience. I’m okay. I’m fortunate, and I should try and do more where I can, but I also should stop trying to force myself through everything. But I know that if I rest, that’s it. I won’t do anything. I know that I won’t process these photos and I know I won’t do any work today. I won’t go to yoga and I won’t live my life, so I do have to keep going. I don’t have to know that I want to keep doing photography now, but I should do what I can where I can (so long as I have the energy) to work out what I want to do with it at this point. If that desire still exists within me.

There are so many things to work out and I’m sure I will get there. I’m sure that things will come and reveal themselves over time, and I’ll see where it all leads and so on and so forth, and that’s that.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 08:49:48

Not great. It’s what came forward and it’s what is, but not great.

Written at Double Barrel Coffee + Food House.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1531: Photography self-doubt, etc.

Posted on August 21, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

I’m photographing my first gig in a couple of months tonight. Still not sure if the drive is back in me, but I want to do this tonight… so I’m doing it. I’m also asking myself questions, because of course I am.

Do I still have it in me? Am I able to do good work? Has my work ever been good? I ask and I wonder, and I don’t know. I am filled with doubt, and I know I shouldn’t be. I know I should be fine. I know there will be good photos, but I’m not confident there will be.

I know I’m not too old to keep doing this, but maybe I’m too far behind. Maybe now is the time to put things down, let go, move on. I don’t know. I’ll be there and I’ll take photos, but something in me is hesitant. Something is telling me to not and just go home instead, and I don’t want to listen to that. I want to go out and do it, but I have to wonder.

I’ve had so much bitterness and frustration over the photo scene in Sydney. The eternal praise and subsequent ignoring that comes with it, and that shouldn’t deter me. That shouldn’t leave me wanting to stop. That shouldn’t leave me hesitant to continue. I wonder if my identity with the camera was, in part, tied to my relationship. I didn’t start doing gig photography until I was in it, and I’ve only photographed one other gig since getting dumped. Maybe there’s just too much in there for me to keep feeling something from it. I don’t know.

These are thoughts that are worth having, but I also have to be willing to explore them, find out if there is a way past and I don’t know if I actually am ready. I don’t know if I’m ready to let go and move on, but I also don’t know if I’m able to continue. The gear sits with me and sit where I want it and I do use it, but I’m not using it in the way I used to and I get some spikes here and there, but the passion doesn’t persist.

It all feels hopeless and I’m filled with doubt, but I’m forcing myself to photograph tonight. I’m forcing myself past my holding myself back. Even if it lacks passion or drive, I’m going to do my best. I owe the artist that much, and I’m sure I’ll be fine once I get into the swing of things, but I wonder if I have any good years left, and I’m going to be wondering for a while. I’m going to be wondering for a while, and maybe I’ll find an answer. Maybe I won’t, but I do know something will change. Maybe not in terms of action, but in my thinking. But whilst I have these questions, I’ve got to go photograph a gig and that’s what I’m gonna do.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 07:42:54

Surface heavy.

Written at work.

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Movement in Performance

Posted on August 20, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

Another photo of one of Imperial Triumphant’s members, and this time with a bit more obvious motion. From what I remember, this was one of those big rock moments. I’m likely remembering incorrectly, however. The guitar might’ve been getting attacked in a certain way to get a specific sound, something like that.

This is my submission into Leanne Cole‘s “Monochrome Madness” for this week. This one is hosted by Leanne, and she has chosen “Movement” as the theme.

This challenge is open to all, and I recommend joining in. If want to, check out more information about it here, and include the tag “monochrome-madness” when you share your photo. If you’d prefer not to join in, then at the least check out Leanne’s photography, and what other people submit.

I hope you enjoy.

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Yasunori Mitsuda: Zeal Palace

Posted on August 19, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

One listen.

I rushed this during my lunch break and I don’t think that was a good idea. I feel like I kept trying to find something and moved on instead of exploring each time I was about to go somewhere.

Yasunori Mitsuda’s (光田 康典) “Zeal Palace” (“ジール宮殿”) is from Chrono Trigger‘s soundtrack, Chrono Trigger Original Sound Version.

—

Tense strings draw long and keys descend, echoing with drama. Percussion soon comes in, rattles, presses. More strings join and seem to float there with a lofty glance. They seem to look down.

It all shifts into something that feels more industrial. Mechanical, forceful, cold in a way. Brass punctuates at angles and menace fills the air. It comes to a sudden stop as strings strike out end push this sense of inevitability. Of being unable to stop something coming.

It all loops back to the start and that heaviness is there. That advancement, unabated. The continual push for more, whatever that could be. The space is dark and sterile, and brightly light and full of whispers. It’s full of menace, full of ill portent. It lacks a friendliness. It lacks relaxation, and it holds throughout everything fading away at the song’s end.

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