Completely zoned out when I’m meant to be getting stuff done. That’s okay.
I don’t know where I zoned into, however. All I know is that I was here, but I wasn’t present as I was present elsewhere, and now I’m here. I’m present once more.
Where was that place? What was that place? Was it even a place, or more just a memory on repeat? Why do I even ask these questions?
Now I need to stretch and I’m trying, but there’s a lot to stretch here and I’ve not much in the realm of range stretching.
But anyway, I’m listening to music that’s probably not, but sounds hopeful, and it gives me a sense of determination. It gives me a sense of drive and I need to keep making use of that if I am to get anywhere. Sometimes it feels like working out, though I imagine working out produces results that are more noticeable much sooner than trying to seek some sort of success that pulls one out from being quite close to poverty. But who knows.
So I guess I wanted to know what it was that I zoned into. I want to know that if I zone out, I’ll be able to get back there, but there is no telling. I don’t know how I’d go about it, to be honest, and maybe there’s some fear in there. What if it was something incredibly pleasant?
What if I’m missing out on where I am meant to be, and I can’t get back because I didn’t step fully through before? Would rather be there than here, to be honest. Then again, what if it was worse? What if it was a nightmarish hellscape that was far beyond me? What if I end up there by mistake? What if I try to zone into that and then I realise and there’s no going back?
I don’t know what it is that I should do from here. Sitting down and doing very little has served me well for years and I could just do that again, but there is something out there that needs exploring and I can’t sit idly by when the possibility of possibility is so close at hand. I should do what I can… maybe.
Maybe I should go for a walk and go outside. That too is a viable option. Get started on the day and start doing things and all that stuff and… yeah. Experience some things and then get on with the getting on and all that razzmatazz. And then I can think about what it is that I want to do and then start the zoning.
I could zone out and into some other planet, or maybe a nearby shop that sells bagels. I could go for a bagel right now. Wish I had the money to do so. Just go and get a bagel with cream cheese and sit and eat it, or maybe walk and eat. That’d be nice.
The time it took to write five-hundred words: 06:31:38
Bit faster. Bit of a mess with something running through it all, but a bit faster.
Written at home.
Stupidity Hole 