I’m riding the bus to work right now, wondering as to why I let myself leave late.

At least I’m not running too late to work.

Feeling healthier and more awake than I have over the past few weeks. Not feeling much happier; much more satisfied though.

Actually, I am feeling a fair bit happier.

The situation with my ex has not changed. Right now it’s waiting for communication to begin. As much as I want to initiate it, I have to be patient.

I thought the break up would hurt the most so far, but it’s been things I’ve realised about what I’ve carried with me through my life at this stage that have hurt me far more. The good thing though is that with everything i do realise, I am able to work out what I need to do to become a better me.

Linked to communication: my ex’s unwillingness to let me show her whether I’m worth it or not is also hurting me, but again, I need to be patient.

Sometimes I think the Sun at this hour is very beautiful. At other times I think it’s tormenting. Usually I just think it’s the Sun.

I’m still really scared. Not of succeeding and things going back to how they were before, but of missing the chance I’d need to take.

And now I’m at work. Urgh.