Last night I started working on music once more. It had been a few months since I last picked up an instrument and to be honest, I’m not sure as to why I put one down.

However, last night was all about drum programming.

I never understand why I put down an instrument. Music is not something I seem to tire of, so I don’t know why it happens. At the moment this is something that is slightly baffling to me.

I know that every time I pick one back up, I get back into the swing of things pretty quickly and everything, as always, flows out as I find myself very present and in the moment, free and not constrained by anything that would normally constrain my being.

Wait.

It’s been a few weeks since I last picked up an instrument, but the last time I did it was to tab out a song to send to a friend of mine.

Does that count? I do not know.

I do know that right now I am happy to be working on music again, even if it is in a slightly diminished way.

My current living arrangements do not allow for me to easily work on things, so I need to pick up a pair of headphones if I want to keep working on the sounds that keep coming into my mind that I cannot easily translate.

I also know that the sooner I do this, the sooner I will be able to get things done.

There is so much music that I want to create and work on and not enough time. Hopefully some day the constraints that are… constraining me will be released, therefore allowing me more musical freedom, therefore allowing me to keep on going and working on more music.

Hopefully this will happen sooner rather than later. As much as I am working on completing university, this is something that I’ve lost a lot of interest in and I find the whole thing to be slow and tedious. I know that in order to do be involved in the sciences I need to sit through a lot of things that I do not want to do, but I also know that most of what I do I have little interest in and that where my interests in the sciences lie are not going to be effectively taught at UNSW. This is due to UNSW not having much focus in the particular areas of marine science in which I’m interested.

Soon that will be over and once more I will be able to get back to having a greater focus on music and other artistic pursuits which will see me clumsily staggering my way through my own miasmatic hubris in order to produce a product that will probably not live up to expectations, but sometimes that is the way of things.

So long as I can keep working on what I want to do, then something something.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 07:27:70

I thought that this was going to be completely about music, but I guess the impending semester (which started this week) has affected my writing this bit of text.

Written at work.