Well, I’m at it again as a bit earlier I had the energy and drive to keep on going, but now, not so much. What I really want to do is go and make some guacamole with a couple of peppers from the back yard thrown in. Maybe a bit of garlic and lemon too. Not entirely sure. That’s what I want to do right now, but instead I’m writing about it as I still have the desire to write and somehow capitalise on the energy and drive that I had earlier that I no longer have.
I also have a bag of corn chips, but those are for the guacamole.
Alright, so I’m here, I’m seated, and I’m trying to muster the strength and energy to write about stuff. Need to find the thing and you know the rest, so why am I bothering with writing that bit? Really not sure and I don’t want to spend the time looking for answers. There are other, more important things to do such as filing and… more filing. Alright, there isn’t that much that could be considered as being important to do, but I do want to pretend that there is as then that gives me more drive to keep on going.
This is going to be long. I can feel that I’m struggling already and that’s not a good sign. Still, I’ll, find a way. I’ll find a way to get to some sort of end and therefore once at that end I’ll celebrate by heading off and making something to eat. It’ll be good food. I don’t know if I can provide a recipe, but I can tell you that it will be good as I made it and I’m the best at making anything ever, and no one can tell me otherwise as everyone else is wrong and pretending whilst I am the true ultimate, but I digress.
It’s a bit cold today, but that’s not much of a change from yesterday.
It is a bit of a change. yesterday was much warmer, I think. Not quite sure. Anyway, the cold weather is a good thing and a bad thing, but right now it’s nice as I get to be a bit more cosy and warm myself up and wear those thick socks that I so very much like to wear. They’ll keep my feet warm for a while and I can pretend I’m some sort of cool, hip writer sitting in a room that’s normally sunny but not as much as usual due to the rain that just so happens to be the right amount and I’m also completely rugged up and there’s a TEA or COFFEE sitting on this table and I’ve also got a warm fire in a fireplace nearby and I’m just beavering away.
Instead of that, however, it’s socks, beanie, short, pants, no TEA or COFFEE, no rain, no fireplace. Bedroom with light on and beavering away whilst trying to avoid giving myself back pain and keep my hair off my face so it doesn’t distract me from trying to get to the end of all of this. Real challenge, let me tell you. This chair is not the best to sit in and needs replacing, but the money to do so isn’t available so I make do with what I have.
Anyway, where was I?
I think I was trying to imply that I was trying to think of something to write which in itself becomes something to write about whilst trying to avoid acknowledging that that was indeed the subject of what I was writing about. I wonder just as to how often my writing is writing about writing. Don’t want to find out. Just wonder. It’s probably a fair bit more than I think, but a fair bit less than it appears. Maybe it’s exactly how much I think it happens to be. Doesn’t really matter right now, however. What matters is finding a way to get across the topic at hand which is something that I don’t know so I’m just going to write about trying to work out what it is through the power of writing about writing, or at least the idea of writing.
Maybe I won’t. Right now I’m thinking about a time when I wasn’t writing and it wasn’t the best time in my life, although maybe it was. I do know that compared to about ten years ago, writing now takes up a lot more of my time rather than none of it at all and I think that that’s a pretty big improvement. I may not be the best writer or even a good writer. I’m not a worthwhile writer, but I do know that I enjoy writing a lot more than I may or may not let on.
Still, I need to find that energy to write some more right now as there are things that I want to write about, but I don’t know what they are and so I’m stuck in this loop of trying to get the energy back but what I really want to do is go and eat but that would involve getting up which right now might be a little better for my back than sitting on this chair, but I also don’t want to stand. Standing involves effort and I’m lazy and I want to stay being lazy, but staying lazy means nothing gets done so I may as well sit here and write, but that would involve finding that energy from earlier and that’s not something that’s going to happen. It’s a conundrum and I’m, not sure as to how I’m going to work my way out of this one other than through good amounts of progress on getting to the beginning and pulling that energy back. I think. Maybe that won’t be what happens. Maybe instead I’ll run in circles.
Ah, stuff it; I’m just going to go and make some guacamole.
The time it took to write one thousand words: 14:25:52
Not a great piece of writing. I think it flows well, but I was thinking too much instead of letting the words happen.
Written at home.