Racing, racing, racing. Need to stop doing that, but sometimes that is the way that the rolls roll, as they say.
I think I am on a roll of sorts. However, I mean this strictly in the metaphorical sense. It’s all metaphor and no one even knew that that was indeed the case. Sometimes that is how things go.
Anyway, once more I have fallen into a trap of my own creation and once more it is I who willingly stepped into the trap. This is a bit disappointing at this stage, as I need to stop doing this. I need to stop trapping myself. There are so many avenues and yet I keep on falling into the pitfalls of my creation. There is a ladder here, but rather than climb the ladder I am relegating myself to the part of playing in the mud, though it’s not so much playing as it is furiously pounding the ground with my fists, kicking up dirt and having it fly into my eyes but refusing to stop even though stopping and climbing the ladder would be a much better choice.
This of course is not the most optimal things that I could do right now, but this seems to be what I want to do. I don’t know why that is the case. I know there are better things that I could be doing ri0ght now, but for some reason this is indeed what I am doing.
That ladder needs to be careful as I might break it a little. That will make it harder for me to get out of the hole in which I have dug and fallen into, but of course I won’t accept responsibility for my predicament. I will not accept that I have put myself here. I need to blame others. The people who look in will be the ones I blame. They might see the ladder and think to put in a rope, but I might just break that too. This is of course all silly stuff to do, but it seems to be what I am currently doing.
Sorry if this is obvious: I am referring to my writing. Being dramatic about it, but that is what I am referring to.
Anyway, so I would gnash my teeth and point fingers and point at the people and the dirt that has gone everywhere (even though it might be difficult to tell). Then I’d point at the people a bit more and then I’d scream and whinge and do all of the other things. Of course I am the one in the hole and I am the one who created the hole. However, I should not accept responsibility for my actions as if I do then that means I have to accept that I’m doing this to myself. Of course that would also mean that I can move past the whole issue (with enough time), but who wants to do that?
Well, maybe me I guess.
The time it took to write five-hundred words: 05:12:98
I’m kind of happy with this. A bit too repetitive, but I think the flow works.
Written at home.