It feels much like a warm night and now I can finally decompress. Maybe a sense of coolness will come over me and I will be able to relax sooner rather than later. Spent far too many hours today “active” and I need to deactivate and get to sleep soon. Sometimes that is the way things go, unfortunately, but that doesn’t mean that I’d rather things not. Oh well. What am I going to do other than keep on going on?
Perhaps writing some more after spending a lot of time writing is not the best way to unwind, but I guess it all depends on what comes forward and how it comes forward. Maybe this will be some sort of relaxing thing, free of any form or sense of tension and I will be able to go to sleep right after finishing this all off. That might just happen. That probably will not. What I imagine will come forward is what may seem clearly like some sort of intense, stress-related thing, though now that I think of that, that probably won’t happen either.
I don’t know what will come forward, but I do know that right now I am writing and I’m writing probably a bit faster than I should be, but that’s all okay in my books at the present moment as somehow I feel at ease with doing so. Might not be good for my health, but I will keep on going and see what comes out of all of this writing, though when I say that I am keenly aware that that’s generally what happens, and that is okay. It is okay to see what happens without quite knowing what will happen, even though what seems to happen is the thing that usually happens.
Well, anyway, I think that now that I have said that, I have run out of things to say, so inevitably what will happen from here is I will complain about things and somehow get to the end of all of this and then there will be something that can be read and someone will read it and there you go. I’ve managed to summarise the whole thing before even finishing it. I’ve managed to find some sort of clairvoyance about what I will write and that also is okay. It’s not the worst thing int he world. It’s fine to have a little bit of repetition in one’s life, but you can’t always go overboard, unless you need to, in which case you need to and then that is a thing that you need to deal with at a particular time, so you try to work through it and undo the thing that you need to undo and then you continue on and work to better yourself, or don’t.
Sometimes you just go for a walk outside of the house and see where it takes you. You’re not necessarily sure as to where it will take you. You know some of the path, but you might take a different turn to see something you haven’t seen before. It might be novel, or this might be something that you do all the time. Not a bad thing to do; need some familiarity in life, but not complete familiarity. Need a mix of things.
What will you see on this walk? Well, you might see some trees that you had not seen before you went on the walk. You might encounter some birds. Maybe you might even see other people. There are a whole slew of things that you may see that I cannot even get into describing as there are so many things that right now my brain is not allowing me to fathom them all. Maybe it would in the morning, but right now it isn’t and so you’re left with a whole load of mystery! isn’t that exciting?!
Well, maybe not right now as you’d maybe rather have a bit of a rest after a long day staring at screens. Walking can provide its own form of rest, but right now you just want to rest by closing your eyes for a bit and maybe going to sleep. It’s late at night and perhaps it is a little too late to go for a walk. You might see some birds, but they may also be far and few between. That’s okay; birds also need to rest when they need rest.
Well, you don’t mind going for a night walk, but seeing as you live near a body of water, there are mosquitoes about and you don’t have mosquito repellent, so you might be a little out of luck. Maybe you don’t mind being a mosquito buffet, but right now it’s close to rest time, so instead you are going to do what you do when you go to rest and then you’ll lie down and wake up in the morning and take care of other things then. Maybe then you will go for a walk as it will be more practical for you to do so, or something. If that is more practical for you, then awesome.
For me, however, there are no considerations for walking at the moment. Instead of walking I’m just going to go to bed shortly. Maybe there will be a little bit more writing after this, but maybe that too will come in the morning. There are plenty of options available to me and I don’t have to take them all now. I can take them later and later is fine. However, I know that if this wasn’t so close to my time to sleep, I’d probably take all those options now.
Oh well. I think that I’ve said all that I wanted to say and in far too many words to say it all, but I don’t feel any more relaxed. Time to switch off for the evening, methinks. I’ll take it easy and hope that I get to sleep sooner rather than later.
The time it took to write one thousand words: 10:42:50
I don’t know what to make of this. Probably not good.
Written at home.