It’s early and already I am getting distracted. Getting distracted is not a good thing at this juncture in time. There are things that need to be done, or something. Therefore, I need to do those things in order to be able to get things done, or something.
Especially the something.
So it’s early and it is pleasantly cold and therefore there needs to be some sort of activity done in order to warm up, so therefore I will be warm at the end of the activity, assuming that I do the activity to the best of my ability which is something that I should do if I want to be warm. However, I also want to be lazy and complain about it being the daytime which means I have to do things that I don’t want to do. I have to be responsible. I have to do the adult stuff.
Oh, why do responsibilities have to exist? Why do they have to torment my soul and menacingly gnash their teeth at my existence? This is an unfair and unjust thing that I have to deal with and therefore it should be abolished so that I can get on with being free and not having a care in the world. This is unfair and unjust and all those other things that I wan to say that it is.
On top of all of this I will soon need to eat and I don’t know who invented the need to eat, but I don’t like them. I’d rather eat of my own volition than due to a need to sustain myself, thank you very much!
I think I’m going a little too silly now, but anyway…
So what am I to do? I can relax, sure, but there is the art of responsibility and tackling that responsibility. There is a desire to get warm which requires some sort of exertion that I am feeling unwilling to engage with, and there is a need to do other things. I don’t want to do all of this and instead I just want to get on with getting on and take care of something whilst ignoring others. This is a most unfortunate situation and I see not a way out, which is rather frustrating.
I guess the only way out, really, is to do all of the things and make sure that they are done in some sort of order that makes sense. However, that would then involve not being lazy. That would involve putting in some sort of effort into whatever it is that I need to take care of and I don’t want to do that as then I would be beholden to the doing of things through the act of doing things and therefore I would feel some sort of being bound to the things that I am doing.
At the same time, if I don’t do the things it might just be more difficult to get warm and do the things that I need to and want to do and therefore I should do the things in order to have the things done and therefore get on with my life in a desire to be productive, which is something that I do indeed desire, but don’t want to right now for fear of being productive which is something that I want to do, but at the same time don’t want to do due to the desire to be lazy being far greater.
I think that what I should be doing is, instead of complaining and whinging and all that other stuff, I should just get on with the getting on and do the things so they are done. Then, once the day is over, I can relax a little and once I’m in a state of relaxing I can say that I got some stuff done. I should try and be a little busy so that I can relax a little more later. I might also get warm and then I can’t complain about the cold.
What if the truth of the matter is that I want to complain and that I unknowingly feel that doing stuff removes my ability to complain? What if that is the truth of the matter? Then what? Should I try to fight this off and do something else? Should I look at what other options are out there? Should I not worry about it and embrace it for what it is?
Perhaps there needs to be some sort of balance and I need to find a way to find that balance. If I can do that, then perhaps I will have a bit more balance in my life. However, that would be less fun than, say, rambling on about it at length for no reason other than a desire to ramble on. Somehow this shows that despite my wanting to be lazy, I am not being lazy and therefore I am defeating the laziness whilst also complaining and whinging and all that other stuff, therefore creating a situation where I get to claim the best of both worlds, but that claim shall not be made today as there are other things to complain about and they require less effort and energy than writing about it, which is not what I am going to do today as it is a pleasant day. Sure, it is a bit cold but I don’t mind the cold.
That all said, I should probably try to warm up a bit as I’m feeling it a bit more than I would like, so I guess it is time to get on with the doing of the things and the being an adult and taking care of my responsibilities so I can get on with other things and slowly fill out the day with stuff.
I say that, but perhaps there will be nothing at all. Perhaps it will be a lazy day, but at this stage do I really know?
The time it took to write one thousand words: 10:55:33
This was quite easy to write. It felt like it flowed on out rather easily.
Perhaps that has to do with how little it goes anywhere.
I feel the eating bit is pretty crappy writing.
Written at home.