Alright, so there is a need to energise. There is a need to push past this fatigue and I need to do it and I need to do it soon, for it is having an impact on the day of work and that is a big no for me at the moment as I need to work and push on through the day and then get to the end of it which is when I will truly be able to rest. However, right now I need to tackle whatever it is that has be drained.
I imagine that it is a lack of energy, but I am unsure as to how I can go about proving that this is indeed the case. There could be many confounding factors and perhaps they conceal the true reason, which I guess they would due to their ability to confound, which also means they likely have the ability to distort. It’s a bit of an issue, let me tell you.
Of course, I could try and brainstorm ideas for tests and then put those tests into practice, but at the same time that isn’t something I quite want to do as that would mean needed to put in a base level of effort into thinking of things that I could do that would help with the process of testing and, let me tell you, that also is something I don’t want to do.
I guess I already said that, but I’ll let it slide this one time, even though there will be plenty more times in which I let such a thing slide off into the distance and out of view. Perhaps it will return to haunt my waking days, but for now it is not something of which I feel is necessary to worry about as I have other things to worry about, such as getting more energised.
Therefore, this first thing is now ruled out and therefore I’ll just get to the part where I throw things at the problem and hope that one of the things works in a manner that implies resolution as then I’ll have the issue resolved and I’ll be able to get back on with the living of the life that is the one that is mine and once there I’ll be ale to get on with doing other things in a manner that implies progress.
Now said progress would be full of wonderful desires and amazing creations, and none of them would in any way, shape or form seem faulty. They would all be perfect and they would be so perfect that there would be no stopping their being perfect. In fact, perhaps they would be so perfect that they would not be perfect in the slightest.
Perhaps it would be better for the things to not be perfect. In fact, it probably would be better for these things to not be perfect in the slightest, for if they were, then… well, I guess you can improve upon perfection, but that’s beside the point. In fact, I might suggest that there has been a major digression and so I need to find a way to get back to the topic at hand.
I’ve surrounded myself by a mass of thickets and I’ve no idea as to the way out, and therefore I need to cut my way through, which I guess is the way out, in which case I do know the way out. Funny how that just worked out.
So anyway, I don’t have any tools with me and so I’m going to need to cut my way through using my bare hands. However, I don’t want to really do that, but thankfully there is another option that has revealed itself to me and therefore I will take this new option as it means I’ll be able to save some time and get through the thing and then move onto whatever it is that I need to move onto.
Now, I need to try and remember what it is that I’m trying to do. It has been so long and this bit of writing has gone on for so long that I can no longer see where I started. It all seems so far away and off in the distance beyond the distance beyond what it is that remains in a state of visibility, and I know not what it is that I can do to resolve the issue at hand. Such is the way of things.
Maybe I have gone so far that there is no turning back now. Maybe I need to only look forward, but I don’t know as to which way forward would now be. This is an issue that I have let myself fall into, for I was surrounded by the mass of thickets for so long and now that I have escaped by gently moving them out of the way, the world has changed, and so have I. However, we have changed in different ways and what I thought was no longer is. This is a place that I have abandoned in error, though perhaps it too has abandoned me.
We went our separate ways and now all that I see is unfamiliar and fantastic and perhaps frightening, and so I now have realised that I cannot adapt to this world that is now present. I don’t know if this is all something I can embrace and integrate myself into, and so I feel that the only option I have is to walk away from it and look off into a distance that is so far beyond seeing that it almost seems like it does not exist in any way, shape or form.
I gather my things and I start making my way, and in doing so I look for a sense of solace and calm and acceptance so I can reconcile that which I have lost with that which I now am, and so the journey begins anew.
The time it took to write one thousand words: 11:20:47
I wasn’t expecting this to veer into some sort of fiction, but it did and so here we are.
Sort of fast to write. Became less messy the further it went, which may be a good thing.
Written at home.