Alright, so I’m engaging in what I feel is going to be an interesting endeavour. I’m not sure as to how this is going to work out and I feel as though I’m trying to knock out an essay that is far too long and far too unnecessary. I also feel like I’m trying to knock it out in far too little time, but we’re going to see how this will go.
To be honest, I’m not sure as to why I decided that this would be worth trying. I’m not sure as to why I let the idea come to fruition as it is right now. I’m not sure as to where any of this will go as I haven;t done any pre-planning. I had an idea of some things to include earlier, but I’ve forgotten as to what those were and so I really feel like I’m doing this with little to nothing that helps. Still, this is something I’m going to try and I already am trying it right now, as you can see.
This probably will have a lot to do with the idea of doing the thing rather than actually doing the thing, even though writing about the idea of doing the thing is still doing the thing, but I think I got what I wanted to say there across.
So anyway, here we are. Here I am. You’re all over there and not here and I’m already trying to work out what it is that I should be saying as I have no idea. I have no idea as to what will and will not work and I have no idea as to why I am still going. This seems like a foolish thing and I am tired and I want to relax and whinge and all of those other things. I think I don’t want to do anything and perhaps that means I should’ve started this much earlier than I am doing so now. It is late in the afternoon. Some might say it is evening and thus it is a bit late to be starting this.
Well, it might not be for some, but today has been a day full of things and in that day being full of things I’ve gotten things done. Or something.
There was a drive home that was longer than I had anticipated due to traffic. I thought it’d be faster but I was driving during the hours school finishes and so there were many other drivers out there. Had I taken a different route home, I would’ve ended up home sooner rather than later and perhaps feeling a little less tired, but you make mistakes and you learn from them. However, if I do indeed learn from this mistake, then it will be a while before I apply what I’ve learned to anything as I don’t want to do that. I want to get on with things and in getting on with things that may involve making the same mistake again. Maybe it will be made multiple times; it is too early to tell for now. That is a thing for the future and the future is far and away from here right now.
Right now here is here and here is the present. The future runs away and the past cannot keep up. I sit here in the present and I go on about things and in that going on about things I make worlds and create scenarios and they are usually of the dull variety. Still, it’s a thing that I do and in doing it I further myself and extend my reach. Some might say I am overreaching, but that is something to tackle at a later date. Besides which, I believe my reach is not over, but it certainly is stretched thin and that too is something to bear in mind, for it does not stretch thick.
Other things to bear in mind are the fact that this is still going and it should be very clear that I am struggling. Still, that struggle is one I’ve created for myself. I must face up to what I’ve done here and do my best to tackle the challenge of which is something I’ve set myself. Sure, I could’ve done more earlier, but there was time needed for the purposes of resting. Resting was important and it still remains important, for you need to rest so you can tackle things with as much necessity as necessary. If you don’t, then you don’t bring your all and then you end up being tired and all of those other things that you don’t want to be. Therefore it is a good thing that I am doing this, or something.
Well, it probably isn’t, but there are other things I could be doing and perhaps I should be doing them for they need to be done before I go to sleep. Still, I am going to do my best to finish this first. I want to get this finished and then when I have this finished I will tackle the other things.
Now, I feel as though I should start getting some sort of topic going. This is all introductory stuff that explains little and is merely bolstering to the ego, though maybe when I read over this in the future it will be humbling. It will be humbling, or at least I hope that it will be humbling due to me having improved as a writer… I hope.
Anyway, I’ll read over this and see where all the errors were and how I made this bloated and not lean, and I’ll think about what it is and what it is not and how I could’ve done things better had I the knowledge that I would then when I wrote this, and then maybe I’ll laugh a little and remember that the road of improvement is a steep one at times, but still one worth following as improvement helps become better and all that kind of other stuff that I need to say that makes me sound intelligent.
I think that I’ve now hit my limit, but I still have so much to go and I don’t know as to where to go from here. I need to make sure that I stay ahead of the timer, of course, but in saying that I also need to make sure that I don’t hurt myself by typing awkwardly. I need to make sure that I do things in all the right way and that I get to the end in one piece.
This feels like it already has gone on too long.
So anyway, I need to get to the end and I need to dig wholes and I want to read a book and I’ve nothing else to say at this point, but I still persist in the writing as there remains so much to write still. There remains a lot to cover and in that covering there remains a lot to be said. However, there is nothing to say and it is dark outside and I am resting, or soon I will be resting as I am not really resting right now. However, I am banging away on a keyboard and in that banging away on a keyboard I am getting this challenge done and in getting this challenge done I am doing the writing which is something that I do enjoy doing.
For whoever ends up reading all of this, I am sorry.
So anyway, I think I’ve said all that I want to say and now it is time to write the lengthy and arduous conclusion. You see, this was no easy task and it was one that I thought I was up to. I thought that I could get all of these words written and in thinking that I became confident. That was my downfall and now I can no longer see the path forward as the path forward has been obscured by my hubris and so I need to remove all of my hubris. This could take some time. It might take months. It might take weeks. There is the possibility that it could take years. However, what it won’t take is my determination. It won’t take my drive. It won’t take my hopes and dreams. Still, it is something that I do fear, but fear can be a motivator, and in this instance it is not an inhibitor.
Well, maybe it is. Maybe fear is an inhibitor in this case. However, that is no reason as to why I should not push forward and work toward removing the hubris. The path will be seen once more.
To those who made it this far, once again I am sorry. Still, you’ve made it to here now and there is little left, so perhaps this is worth sticking out. Perhaps this is worth trying to get to the end and then in getting to the end there will be something else that is discovered. Who knows really?
Well, there probably won’t be and so in saying that I will continue my speech.
So let it be known that it was here where the first part of the last stand was made and I marched forward into the unknown and all of those other things. Perhaps there was something on the other side and truthfully the hubris was there to protect. However, it takes away more than it provides and so that is why it must be removed. We cannot go on blindly into something we don’t know if we have the ability to improve things for us and those around us. We have the ability to get to the point of things and make sure that it all does the things at the end, or something.
And so on and so forth.
Yeah; I think I’ve stretched this out as much as I can. I don’t think I can keep on doing this, but I tried. I almost made it and so now that I am here, doing these words and lying down in a metaphorical, imaginary manner, I think I’ve met my limit. It was a good run but it was a failed run. Still, I gave it a go and in giving it a go I learned something new. Not always that you do learn something new. Sometimes you learn something old.
Maybe that is what they call reinforcement.
Anyway, with all of this bloat written out it is time to wrap this bit of writing up. I’m glad I tried and I’m glad I learned. Not so glad that I didn’t finish this off, but it was a valiant attempt, though ultimately a failed attempt. I’m not sure as to how I’ll ever be able to live with myself, but considering that I keep on going and I’ll keep on going after this, I’m sure that I will manage.
Well, I’d like to believe that I will manage, but there is no telling as of yet as to whether I will manage or not, but that is something to worry about at another juncture in time. Right now there are other things to worry about and none of those worries will be worried about as I’m going to go to bed. I need to rest so that I can function tomorrow and therefore I will do that instead of spending my time worrying. Besides which, rest and all of those other things and so on and so forth.
Well, you get the idea, or at least I hope you get the idea, but if not, here’s the idea. Well, it was here, but it seems to have absconded and so I will try and find it a little later and then pass it on later rather than now. Right now it’s just rest time.
Maybe I’ll try to write another large amount of words in twenty minutes some other time.
I want to clarify that this isn’t the start of a new challenge. I just wanted to see if I could do this and I succeeded, but this writing leaves a lot to be desired.
Written at home.