And so it begins once more, after once more another long and heavy day full of drama and bullshit and false accusations that I do not appreciate due to how they carry. Such is the way of things and as such, I must deal with them in a manner that allows me to deal with them. I’m sure others have to deal with the bullshit of others too. It’s unfortunate, but it is a thing.
You can only hope to get away from it all at some point.
So anyway, I sit here and I struggle to type, but I get the words out and getting the words out is half the battle. The other half is making sure that things make sense and that is something of which I am having a bit of a struggle with at the moment, but you’ll see that I go against that in this writing and all of this might just make sense. Sure, a lot of it will be banal, but still, there will be sense and it will make that sense. Then again, maybe it won’t and really I’m just being deceptive. It is too early to tell, however, and so we will just have to see what happens from here to the end of this writing.
As I write this there are many things that are happening. There are people driving. Some are smiling and some are crying. Some people might walk and others might jog. There are birds chirping and various other animal sounds out there. Flowers are dying and flowers are blooming, and a city groans silently as it is rendered cold from the setting sun and the encroaching night.
Actually, the setting sun wouldn’t render the city cold, but that is just what I am saying here as that seems to make the most sense to include in that particular sentence. Anyway…
there are a lot of things happening and there are a few things happening in here, but those aren’t worth getting into as they don’t cover much; I’m writing, I’m breathing and I’m listening to music and there’s a faint suspicion that the air is moving around me, but I’m not entirely sure as I am yet to check that out. Don’t really want to and would rather just keep going with this if I am to be honest, and to be honest I’d rather be honest than deceptive in this particularly trying time.
Well, to be fair I don’t often enjoy being deceptive. Sometimes you may have to, but that doesn’t mean you want to, or something. I should say that I don’t want to even if I may have to on the odd occasion, but anyway I think the point has gotten across and really, that’s more than I could ask for at this particular time.
You see, I’m currently writing rather flatly, though it’s probably not any more flat than usual now that I think about it, but I am writing flatly and the reason for my flat writing is that I’m just trying to stay calm at the moment and not go into a rage about the events of today. It has been long and heavy, and maybe it was longer and heavier than yesterday. I don’t know and I don’t want to try and think about it too much. After this I want to write something a little more joyous, but I can’t right now. I need to get this out of the way first. After that, then I can try for something more joyous.
Maybe I just need to write miserably for the rest of the evening and really pile it on so that all are weeping by the end of the reading time. Maybe I should do that. However, it is not sadness of which I want to invoke, but rather I don’t know where I’m going with this and so sadness is not that which I shall invoke. Instead I will try and invoke something else. I will try and invoke a sense of writing and then once that comes across I will get on with whatever it is that I need to get on with in order to achieve things that I am yet to achieve and so on and so forth and you get the idea.
I think that truthfully I just need to spend the rest of the evening doing what it is that I want to do and then getting that out of the way, then moving onto the next thing which would be resting. Sure, I could rest now, but there still remain things that I need to get out of the way and all that.
Now that I’ve that out of the way, I think that I need to think about some things and try and get away from the bullshit. Maybe the next thing that I write will be a bit happier, but I don’t know. Not really feeling it right now, but sometimes that’s just the way things go and that’s something I need to deal with right now. Still, I’m here and I’m getting this done at least. That’s some sort of progress and I need to consider that a good thing as in some manner it is a good thing. It is a good thing to be getting things out of the way. It is a good thing to do the things that you enjoy doing.
I think I’ve made my point as clear as I possibly can make it.
Anyway, I think I’ll have a slight breather before I get back into it. I could take multiple breathers, but a single one should suffice. A single one is just one and it’s more than none and that should be okay.
See, I’m rambling now and I don’t want to ramble. I just want to get on with things, but maybe that’ll happen a little bit later. However, if it doesn’t, then at least there was rambling.
The time it took to write one thousand words: 10:34:51
I was trying to keep this focused and for a while it seemed as though I was going to succeed. However, it was not to be.
Written at home.