So once more there isn’t much time and so I need to get my thoughts down in a fast and effective manner. How I go about this, I am not sure, but of course I will find a way to get all that needs to be put down down and I will do it in a manner that involves unnecessarily long sentences, as that is something that I do and so therefore I will find the way to keep on doing it.
Maybe I will need to find a way to do it with style, but style is something that I do not have much of and as such I need to find a way to put style in these sentences of considerable length, but before I work all of that out there are other things I need to cover, but then again there are always other things that I need to cover as that is part of the beauty of procrastination when you are actively engaging within it as a fine art rather than as an excuse to keep on pushing forward and away from whatever it is that you are trying to avoid doing, assuming you are indeed actually avoiding doing stuff and not actually just procrastinating as that is what you’re used to doing.
As such, I should probably consider trying to whip myself into a routine once more as that way I’ll be able to keep on chugging along whilst getting things done at a steady pace, which is something that I so desperately want to do but keep on having trouble doing as I keep on running onto the same problem which seems to involve a lack of further challenging myself with a challenge that was designed to challenge my ability to write.
It’s not that it does not remain a challenge, but rather I don’t challenge myself in the right ways half of the time, though then that makes me wonder if there is a right way to challenge myself when it comes to the writing as there are many ways and some may be considered right and others wrong, but of course this could change at any given moment and therefore I remain at the mercy of whatever the moment dictates and so instead of thinking about that, maybe I should work out what works best at any given time and try and go with that whenever I can.
Then again, maybe there will never be a best for any given time and therefore I should start trying to do all the things at once and see how that works out as surely that could lead to something that isn’t a state of indecision and more procrastination which is something that I hope to break free from at some stage that should come sooner rather than later, but of course I need to keep in mind that in doing all those things at once, I likely will remain exactly where I am which is something I want to avoid.
I think that in saying all of this I need to bear in mind that there are all these little things that keep putting off and in putting them off I am creating the time to write this, but I should write other things rather than whatever this is as those other things will hold more weight and have a little more substance to them and I’d rather make sure that my writing has more, rather than less substance to it as I want to write something meaningful.
Of course when I say this I need to admit that it is quite probable that all of my writing has meaning to it and I’m just really bad at expressing it due to various reasons which may or may not include some of that meaning being more on a personal level rather than anything else as, despite all of the writing that I do mostly coming off as meaningless drivel, it still may or may not contain some sort of meaning to me and that is something that I feel is important to state at this present moment in time.
That said, that might not be the case and I could very well be intentionally misleading so as to obfuscate and cloud an issue that may or may not exist so as to make everyone believe that there is more to all of the writing that I’ve written than I often imply, leading to people going on a hunt for the hidden meaning that is inherent in all of this, but eventually it will be revealed to be a complete and utter obfuscation, leading to some to accept their defeat whilst others keep on going on with their lengthy and ultimately pointless search for what lies within these words.
I will, however, admit that there is no smokescreen, but there also is no message and meaning to search for within all the writing that I have written, aside from some but that stuff should be more obvious, I hope, as the stuff that has meaning in it probably should be more direct as, assuming that my writing hasn’t made it all too muddled, that stuff should be pretty obvious in what it is saying as I’m not exactly one who holds a proclivity toward subtlety at the best of times, let alone the worst.
No, rather most of the meaning in what I write that is personal is that it means something to me personally, even if it all is empty writing at the end of the day as it is a way to see how I’ve improved as a writer over time, though really there is a good argument for my not improving, but that is something that I’m not going to cover today as I’m running out of space for more words and as such need to start thinking about what combination of words I will use to finish off this last sentence.
The time it took to write one thousand words: 12:37:18
I think it is eleven sentences.
I had an idea and ran with it and it makes for something that’s really rough, but also something I enjoyed writing. Sort of.
Written at home.