Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1078: Constantly Cool

Slow days do that slow thing and all that and I sit here and relax a little more than I should. However, you take it all in and you see how things progress and then you feel that you’ve been put in the thing that you’ve been put in for a reason, but you try to ignore it (much easier done than said) as you don’t want to think about it too much.

So anyway, it’s cool and I sit here feeling cool and perhaps that means that I am actually cool. I don’t know if that is indeed the case, but I feel cool and so I can pretend that I am cool. I can pretend that I am the coolest that ever was and in pretending that I can somehow be even cooler than I could ever think possible.

I’m slick. I’m sublime. I’m the greatest. I’m reinventing things that are yet to exist with my sheer style. I’m constantly on fleek and there is no one who can stand in the way. Of course this doesn’t account for the fact that I’m sitting down, but you get the idea.

Anyway, I’m so cool that ice freezes into super ice when it is around me. I’m so cool that sunglasses make me look less cool and mysterious, as there are no sunglasses powerful enough to make me look cooler.

I’m so cool that I have to talk about how cool I am in order to take sure that everyone knows how cool I am. That’s how cool I am.

However, I’m not so cool that I can’t sit down and look lazy at the same time. Everything I do is so effortless, and yet it requires the maximum amount of effort to get across just how effortless it all is.

Anyway, I think you all get the idea. Now that the idea has gotten across, I think I’ll just take it easy to the max and relax in a way that is so relaxed that I cannot even begin to discuss just how relaxed I will be once I start relaxing. It will be so relaxed, this relaxing, that there will be no way to see it coming as it’ll be that smooth. It will be amazing and all of those other things and… yeah.

So anyway, I think I’ve covered all that I can possibly think of covering and in doing so I think that it is time to get on with doing other things that involve being cool and relaxed, and I will do it all with the greatest of style. No one will see it coming and it’ll just happen in ways unprecedented and majestic, and all of that will then lead to other things and I’ll just get on with my life in a way that implies the getting on with my life, but… yeah.

So anyway, I’m cool and so on and so forth and you get the idea, so I’ll now stop.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 05:37:63

I don’t know why I wrote this. However, I do know that it’s pretty bland.

Written at home

About Stupidity Hole

I'm some guy that does stuff. Hoping to one day fill the internet with enough insane ramblings to impress a cannibal rat ship. I do more than I probably should. I have a page called MS Paint Masterpieces that you may be interested in checking out. I also co-run Culture Eater, an online zine for covering the arts among other things. We're on Patreon!
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