Sitting here, trying to work out what to write. The desire is there but I feel as though I need a theme to spur me on in this brief moment of time before I go and do other things.

I could write about cycling but I’m not going to do that as… well, I don’t want to.

This really isn’t the worst problem to have. I was going to add more to that sentence, but there is nothing else to add really. I mean, what do I have to say beyond that? It’s not the worst problem to have and I am painfully aware of that. I want to say it’s still a problem because it is, but that feels like I’m cheapening the intent of what was initially written and so that is something that I am not going to say as it doesn’t make much sense for me to say it if I want to maintain some sort of integrity.

So anyway, I sit here, I wonder and I waste time. That sounds like it puts things into a perspective or sorts and maybe it does. Maybe I should go for the ride that I was telling myself I’d do. Don’t want to waste too much time now, but I’m now wasting much time. Don’t want to be doing that. Want to be moving and grooving, but not both at once. I want to get stuff done before work starts; not after, and I want to write something but I feel the need for an idea.

I have a thirst for direction and I say this as I ignore the many other things that I could be doing. I could instead just stop now and go for my ride and listen to “Pride (In the Name of Love)” on repeat, but then I’d quite possibly be cheapening that song to myself. I could also choose to not do that and I probably will choose to not do that as it may be better to have a variety of songs playing into my ears so then I get a sense of something that having a few songs rather than one can provide in specific situations.

Also, the direction would be forward, but that’s not the kind of direction I’m looking for in these trying times of trying and times.

I think perhaps my net is too wide and it’s getting some breakage and that can take a while to fix as I need to fine where those breakages are, and perhaps they don’t actually exist and I’m just deluding myself, but it is possible.

I think I just need a bit more sleep.

So I guess I should stop writing for the day. I should try and rest and relax but there’s a bike and I want to ride it before work starts. There are other things too, but that is the first thing and so I’m going to stop writing this and I’m going to go do that.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 06:08:82

Good speed and some of this makes sense in terms of continuation within the writing.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m getting better or if I’m staying in the same position.

Written at home.