Alright here we go.

I have no idea how I’m still going as much as I am. It has been years since I last had this kind of drive, and I am still moving forward. I am still charging on and being productive, but I am struggling. But I am writing.

The last essay I did didn’t do as well as I;d hoped here, but it has done well elsewhere, and I’m off to edit the next one. I’ve four that need editing, but I think I can do it. I think I can charged through them and get them done and all that stuff that sounds good. But, of course, I need to keep going.

Maybe I’m just getting enough sleep. I don’t know, but it’s possible. It’s possible that that’s the case. But I didn’t over the weekend, and so everything was a struggle and I cut my finger on a blade of grass whilst pulling it out, and these things happen, but you keep going. You keep moving forward, because there’s only so much time in the world and there’s only so much time to get things done, so you work to get those things done.

The more I write, the less interested in “good” I am, though of course I want the work to be good. However, I feel the itch to explore. I feel the desire top work things out and see what lies within the writing, and maybe my writing will become less rigid for it. I guess it’s like photography. I’m not trying to do “good” so much as I am trying to “experiment” and learn and grow, and see what is “true”, or if there is any truth within me.

But I’m driven and I’m still going., but I need to keep going. I need to remind myself of this. The only way I get things done is by getting them done. Obvious, right? But it’s true. Sitting down and doing nothing leads to nothing. I also need to know when I’m running on fumes and stop letting myself burn out, because that’s not helpful at all to anyone and just slows the processes down. I need to remember that. I need to keep that in mind. Not doing so leads to issues.

But of course it can be difficult to recognise burnout when it’s so easy to see as procrastination.

Sow what am I saying here? I guess it’s that I’m surprised that my wave is still going. I’m not taking it for granted, either; there are going to (hopefully) be three things that go up on Culture Eater this week, but they only happen if I get them edited. Which I will, and it will be glorious, and I’ll finally rule everything for all time, and… yeah.

Maybe this is some sort of applicable advice also. To be productive, but to also know when to not be productive so you can remain productive. It’s good to work and also rest.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 06:48:13

Decent speed. Bit of drag and repetition, but I think this bit of rambling is actually okay.

Written at work.