I suppose I should get things underway, but it has already been a day. Slept, feeling tired. It’s the way it goes, I suppose. I suppose indeed, and indeed I am supposing.

Today is going to be pretty full for the next few hours. A lot of racing about, trying to get things done. The fun stuff. No tidying, no getting things good. Just getting things done. Going about the day, dodging work and flowing through time as one flows. I certainly am flowing, at the moment at least.

Getting to the end of the day in one piece is better than two pieces, but… yeah.

Look, I’ve a lot of thoughts right now. I’ve a lot of wondering about things, and I really am wondering. I’m wondering about what lies ahead, because there are a lot of things ahead and I don’t know if I can deal with them all in one day. Perhaps seventeen days, and only on Wednesdays, or Thursdays. Today is a Friday. A Friday is a good day. I’m just dragging things out.

The joy of being tired is that there is no joy in being tired. I’m just trying to throw together whatever and get to the end of the everything in a void of nothing, and I’m once more racing the clock. Trying to get under the minutes of ten, probably won’t, don’t care. Ju8st need to get started. Need to get started and get on with things.

There’s something wrapping up soon and there are no even numbers for it. That sounds kind of cryptic and I like that, but it will reveal itself soon. I’ve been a bit slow over the past few days as there are large adjustments I am making, or rather, constant adjustments I am making, which means my count for something is quite off and I just have to deal with it, now. My fault, my bad, and now I am paying immensely for it. Bad move on my part.

Some things have wrapped up, today should be a celebration. It’s not quite, but it should be. How it goes, sometimes, I guess. You don’t get to win everything all the time. You don’t get to have your way if you don’t have the energy to way your have. Waying the have way and the way have the way in the bay and… yeah.

I wish I wasn’t so tired today. I wish I was functional. Functional I am not, it’s what I wish it was, it’s happening. Not happening. Happening some more. Need more sleep, need to get to the next thing. Need to waste enough words to be able to truly say that I’ve wasted all the words that I have, and then I can feel all warmed up and get on and keep moving. Keep growing. Keep finding my way through tangled branches and messy thoughts and then get enough words written in this so as to apply some sense of actual focus that will feel legitimate and all that other stuff. It takes time and time is what is being taken.

Am I over five-hundred yet? Yes, yes I am.

So now that I’ve said that, I can truly say that today should be a celebratory day. It’s going to be a day where you see me go heavily into stretching, reaching, all of those things. I’ve a lot to say and not enough time to say it, and what my a lot is, is mostly “How am I going to get to the end of this in one piece? How am I actually going to say anything other than the same thing over and over, and perhaps over again?” But I need to do it and so I am going to do it. I am going to get to the end of it all, the end of everything, then go and sleep. Sleep heavily, sleep soundly. Be restful. Be rested. Solidified. No longer a liquid goop trying to be in the form of a human, and all those silly things. Silly things on silly strings and found when silly sings sillily, or something.

Yeah, I’m already really struggling.

I want to talk about how it has been fifteen years, but that will come later. I don;’t know how I’m going to present it, and I don’t know what else lies beyond all of that, but fifteen years is a long time. Fifteen years is life. I could have a teenager on my hands at this point. I don’t, and that’s fine. But this blog is, but I’ll get to that later. I’ve got a lot of rambling to do first. A lot of churning and getting out all the things in the right order, or rather, in the wrong order. I’ll work it all out later. Not right now. Or maybe right now. Or left now.

But I’m here. I’m warming up, I’m getting prepared, and I’m on my way to success. Or failure. We’ll see. Hopefully this will be a good afternoon. Hopefully this will mean something. Hopefully I’ll get to the end of it all and be able to sleep a bit. Hopefully.

Hoping too much, or not enough, but I am hoping. Hoping just to get to the end of the day in one piece, really. Will get there, of course.  Or I won’t. Will find out soon enough. Or won’t.

See, I’m looping around and saying the same thing over and over. That’s the way it do be today, I suppose. Could be better, could be worse. At the very least, I’m here, sitting and ready. And soon I will be knocking everything out of the park and in doing that I will have knocked the park out of the park. Cool times. Bad times. Times of the times.

And so, here’s the start of the day. Here’s where it starts and it will end later, and that will be that. So time to get into the deep end.

The time it took to write one thousand words: 10:58:37

This felt like a slow effort. It wasn’t, but it’s absolute rubbish.

Written at work.