Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1330: Spiraling in a Controlled and Directed Way

Posted on December 22, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

The signs of being tired creep across my face and now I wonder if I can stretch this out in a way that does not read poorly. I don’t think I can and I should try, so I won’t.

Now, there are things to consider. I need to consider when I take to the lawn and make it shorter. I need to consider when to water the plants, and I need to consider as to which direction I will head when I have to head in a direction.

Alright, so now that that’s out of the way, it’s time to shape this paragraph. Hopefully it will be more than a few sentences, but I have no way to tell at this present moment. I do know, however, that it will be happier than the writing from yesterday. No one likes the sad and angry stuff; they prefer the gibberish and that’s my fault, I suppose. Therefore this paragraph will function as a counterpoint to yesterday’s writing and so therefore we can all get on with our lives as we move toward a state of being happier rather than sadder.

So now that that is out of the way it is time to get this out of the way too. However, I need to stretch and I don’t think this is the best way to stretch. There are better ways and this is just a choice I’ve chosen and, whilst it might feel good in the moment, I am sure that later on it won’t feel so good, though maybe it will. This is something that I need to take into consideration, but perhaps I won’t.

Now I need to consider consideration and I don’t like how this continues on in some sort of going beyond within pattern that ultimately leads nowhere, even if that still is somewhere. I need to get off the tracks; I’m tired of them taking me wherever they go. Passengers get on and passengers get off and that’s all that needs to be shared, really. Spiraling into some sort of spiral in a controlled and directed way can only go so far for so long and I have to wonder if there truly is an end. Therefore, I am choosing to get off.

I will derail and I will go where the currents of the air take me. I will look out the window that sits next to me and I will then pass through it in a safe manner. Rather do so than in a dangerous manner as danger wouldn’t do very well for me. Rather be safe. Rather not risk hurting myself in a way that’s completely preventable. Therefore I might just keep sitting here instead. Much easier and much safer, unless somehow the window takes offense, in which case then I don’t know as to what I’ll do at that point.

Maybe I’ll just apologise profusely until things go back to normal and I return to whatever it is that I’m meant to.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 06:03:48

When I wrote this I felt I was going too slow. However, I also felt pretty relaxed. I don’t know what this has to do with anything other than the speed. I guess it means that the writing is a bit less sloppy than usual, but beyond that, yeah.

Written at home.

 

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1329: Thinking About Things

Posted on December 21, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about things over the past few months.
I’ve thought about where I am in life and how I can get a better job and all that fun stuff.
Also thinking of selling the camera.

Right now I’m thinking it just might be time to bow out of photography. I’ve spent a good deal of time doing it and I know I can learn more, but I’m also burned out with it and at a point where the need for money is greater than the desire to keep taking photos, and I’m feeling pretty fine with walking away from it and not returning.

I’d be fine with no longer dealing with a series of broken promises, and I’d also be fine with no longer being in a position where certain successful photographers are complaining about other photographers undercharging for their skills whilst at the same time monopolising the work rather than sharing more of it around.

I’d be fine with not dealing with all the bullshit, essentially. I’m not too old to no longer have the patience to deal with it, but I am too tired.

I’m also tired of having people to keep telling me to work hard and keep going when I tell them why I’m done. It’s not helpful and using an example of your success in an industry that has high demand and money attached to that demand tells me how much you don’t want to understand, and quite possibly don’t actually give a shit.

Of course it’s like that people do care when they say that stuff, but often it feels more like they just don’t want to engage and don’t want to try and understand that, maybe, it’s okay to stop doing something if someone no longer wants to do it.

So maybe I’ll soon sell my camera gear. I love photography but I’m at a point where I’m fine to stop. I’m at a point where selling my gear is likely to be better for me in the long run. I need to survive and I need to get on with my life, but I’ll see. Maybe I’ll keep going and things will level out, but I just don’t know if I have the enthusiasm to keep on struggling because, let me tell you, I am sick of struggling.

I’m sick of trying to fight and hustle and I’m sick of trying to keep trying, but I say that and I continue on and I grow more tired whilst continually dragging myself forward, and I wonder how much is enough.

I wonder as to what point I’ll be able to rest, and I hope it won’t be rest because I have no choice but to, and I wonder how long until I reach that point as that’s likely to happen sooner than my resting due to having the choice to do so, because I haven’t felt as though I can rest in far too long a time.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 09:33:09

I have a feeling this likely reads better than I feel it does. I felt like I had to stretch things out a bit more than I usually do in some parts and so the writing comes off as clunky to me.

Written at home.

 

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Buildings Pressing into Clouds

Posted on December 20, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

This is a test photo I took, or at least it was mostly a test photo. I think I had some interest in the building on the right, but I’m not entirely sure.

I hope you enjoy.

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Hirundo neoxena

Posted on December 19, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

Specifically, two of them.

This was taken at Centennial Park. I’ve tried to photograph these birds before, or at least birds that look like these ones, and I’ve not had much luck.

I hope you enjoy.

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Shoji Meguro: Their Own Past

Posted on December 19, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

One listen.

I felt I had to rush through this one and I think that, whilst that would normally work, here it didn’t quite. I should’ve gone for another listen but I didn’t. Had I done so, I would’ve been able to expand this out a fair bit more in a way that would help with flow and

Shoji Meguro’s (目黒 将司) “Their Own Past” is from Persona 3 FES Original Soundtrack, the soundtrack for Persona 3 FES. FES is an updated version of Persona 3; my understanding is that FES‘ soundtrack is comprised of songs found in FES‘ scenario set after the main story, The Answer.

I hope you enjoy.

—

An oscillation gives way to keys playing along a thin and wide hum. The keys disappear; the hum grows louder, or seems to as it is joined by another, thicker hum. Another sound rises in the background and it feels off.

The oscillation returns, as do the keys and everything moves in a loop, or at least feels it does. Through the sounds a confronting seems to occur; through the loop the inevitability of what was catching up becomes apparent; through the loop the harshness of realisation is found.

Eventually the sounds begin to fade out, as do all the tension and heaviness they brought, and the song ends.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1328: Many Thoughts Wandering

Posted on December 18, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

One of those days where it’s all happening again and you think about your life and where you are, and you just want to crank the volume and get to somewhere else, or maybe get some sort of release and go from there. Maybe. You’re not sure, but you try to be sure, anyway.

Or, at least, that is what I am trying.

So many thoughts wandering and I look out my window, and I just need to move from them. I need to get away from where my thoughts are and I need to move. I need to look forward and travel, and I need to go wherever it takes me and keep wandering and looking forward. Maybe I’ll blink; maybe I won’t, but I’ll leave the city as I travel and I’ll se what lies around me.

I’ll travel far and wide, and I’ll see the gums as they give way to the cultivated land around them, and I’ll mourn for a land I didn’t know, still do not know and is not mine to know. I’ll shed tears at the state of the land and I will keep walking into the night.

I’ll walk through the night and I’ll be under the stars, and hopefully traffic is low, and the land is dark and almost nonexistent. I’ll be able to feel it, sure. I’ll be able to experience it, but I will not see it and so one of my sense will fail me. Then again, there will be parts where it does become visible, but only part of what is around me, and only an impression of what it is, but that will be enough. I will keep on walking and looking for something. I will look to remove myself from my thoughts.

No, that is not true. I will look to have the space needed to parse and understand my thoughts, and hopefully enough space to understand what it is that they are telling me. That is what I hope, but of course I am not sure if that is what I will have. Regardless, it is what I will seek.

Eventually dawn will come and I will be a single speck of nothingness in the vastness of an old and weathered country, and my walk will, despite my pace, remain slow and insignificant. However, it will carry me forward and I will keep on going.

Maybe I will head toward the sea, though not by intention but rather by where I feel compelled, and I will feel the breeze as it directs me elsewhere, and I will see water in many states of energy and vigour. I will walk the cliffs and I will see scrub and emptiness, and it will be full of life, and eventually my pace may carry me home. Where home is I may no longer be sure, but I know that I may be carried there, and when I return I may have found some peace, perhaps through acceptance.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 07:36:58

I like how this turned out. Of course it could be better, but I think the writing works well in getting some semblance of imagery across.

Written at home.

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End of the Day

Posted on December 17, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

This was taken around the same time as these photos (these two were a good few minutes before).

I can’t remember any time I’d seen an ice cream van during a storm prior to when I saw this one. I found the sense of quiet around the van interesting, as well as how it contrasted against the amount of light available interesting so I tried to capture that as best as I could at the time.

I think I could’ve done a better job, position-wise, but overall I like how this turned out.

This is my submission into the two hundred-and-eightieth Lens-Artists Photo Challenge. The theme for this one is “Last Chance“.

The host of the Lens-Artists challenges cycles weekly between the following people:

Week 1 – Tina

Week 2 – Patti

Week 3 – Ann-Christine aka Leya

Week 4 – Amy

Week 5 – John Steiner

Week 6 – Sofia Alves

Week 7 – Anne Sandler

Week 8 – Donna

Week 9 – Guest host

This one is curated by Tina. The next one will be on January 6th with the theme “Favorite Photos of 2023”.

Amy is leaving the Lens-Artists team to spend more time traveling. She has been part of the team since its inception and has provided some great challenges to think of. However, they are still there and she’ll still be submitting her takes on future challenges where she can. It’s sad, but seeing what Amy shares with us down the track is something to look forward to.

I recommend participating in the challenges as they provide a fun way to interpret theme. If not participating, then at least you should still check out what others of the Lens-Artists community are submitting.

I hope you enjoy.

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Yasunori Mitsuda: Chrono Cross ~Scars of Time~

Posted on December 17, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

One listen, though a few early restarts.

I was trying to get across the sense of adventure in the song as, whilst it does have a heaviness and urgency, it still feels quite journey-like in a way. I don’t think I succeeded as it feels a little too much like grabbing whatever word I could in the hopes of making sense rather than just writing about the song.

As a side note, I’m not sure on the fiddle and violin. It may have been completely fiddle; it may have been completely violin. No idea.

Yasunori Mitsuda’s (光田 康典) “Chrono Cross ~Scars of Time~” (“CHRONO CROSS ~時の傷痕~”) is from Chrono Cross Original Soundtrack, the soundtrack for Chrono Cross.

I hope you enjoy.

—

Muted brightness shines on whilst percussion strikes and sparkles and bass places its notes here and there. It’s a seeming quiet of sorts; a space before waking and stirring. Woodwind comes in, along with guitar and, along with the bass, the sounds intertwine and guide toward a new state.

Percussion comes in and charges with some sort of fiddle, and either that or violin takes over where the woodwind was. The sounds seemingly charge and rush and glide, and there is a tension and danger in them. There also is dance and flow, and it keeps going until the percussion pulls away, leaving room for the other sounds to permeate.

At the right moment the percussion returns, as do other sounds and it’s a full on feast of sound; a climax looking for the right note, the right moment, and as soon as it does all the sounds stop, and then silence at the song’s end.

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Noriko Matsueda and Takahito Eguchi: Kilika

Posted on December 16, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

Two listens.
I’m pretty tired at the moment and I think that didn’t help me with getting my head around this song. It’s straightforward and makes use of some nice sound layering, but… yeah. I think this could be stronger.

Noriko Matsueda (松枝 賀子) and Takahito Eguchi’s (江口 貴勅) “Kilika” (“キーリカ”) is from Final Fantasy X-2‘s soundtrack, Final Fantasy X-2 Original Soundtrack.

I hope you enjoy

—

Keys rise up as sound drones in the background before rippling into nothingness. As this happens a steady, gentle and rolling percussion comes in, as does a soft bass. Keys and what could be a softer percussion mark moments here and there and everything rolls onward.

Everything is easy and flowing. The rhythm and the sway brought forth by the sounds paints an image of somewhere scenic, and maybe fun and easy. Something relaxed and happy.

A sense of pause where woodwind comes more forward and brushes in brief moments, and that drone returns for a moment before everything picks up, and it’s all nice and energetic, but it’s all aiming for a sense of relaxation, it seems.

As per earlier the sounds keep on going, though this time when they reach their sense of pause it feels different. It is the same, but somehow it feels changed.

Once more the sounds return to the main rhythm until everything fades out and the song ends.

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Noriko Matsueda and Takahito Eguchi: Besaid

Posted on December 16, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

One listen for this one.
Just tried to write whatever I could and I think that it made for two differing halves that work for two separate bits of writing.

Noriko Matsueda (松枝 賀子) and Takahito Eguchi’s (江口 貴勅) “Besaid” (“ビサイド”) is from Final Fantasy X-2‘s soundtrack, Final Fantasy X-2 Original Soundtrack.

I’m thinking a little about how this song works for Besaid Island in X-2 compared to how Masashi Hamauzu’s “Besaid” does the same in X. They both work in similar ways, though X-2‘s feels a little more carefree in a sense.

I hope you enjoy.

—

Strikes on the keys whilst another set fills the gaps with its steady movement, stepping out a pretty melody. Percussion comes in, as does something in the background, eventually so does bass. Bass keeps the notes long and spaced and it seems to fade into invisibility as the percussion keeps a steady, gentle and cool rhythm. The keys flow along gently , flicker here and there and a bit more space comes in.

Just the keys and the percussion and the sounds are relaxed and cool and easy. They shade and let the sun in where necessary, and they keep on flowing. That sound in the background seems to shine a little brighter before the bass returns and the keys flow along in a reclining mind, and around it all is perhaps a joy, and a space, and a pleasantness in how small and idyllic it all feels.

Gradually the sounds fade away and the song ends.

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