Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1180: Curse The Heavens

Posted on October 27, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

The sun peaks out of a series of clouds but it remains invisible at the same time and so all that is visible in the sky is not the sky itself, but a blanket of clouds of slightly different shades, though seemingly uniform in their spread. Unsurprisingly, the weather matches the mood as this feels like a heavy day that is prepared to storm and rain heavy, beating down everything until there is nothing left.

It just so happens to be one of those days and as such I am defining it as one of those days. I am adding meaning to the weather so it more reflects my mood and what I am currently dealing with and I hope that it remains that way. I don’t care if the symbolism is unnecessary. I don’t care if this is the wrong way to go about things. I just want everything to reinforce how I feel because in this particular moment I don’t care about how other people add meaning to the weather; I only care about how I add meaning to the weather, other meaning be damned!

So anyway it’s a bit of a grim-looking day but the day is just doing what it does. I’m trying to think of something that is silly enough to be enjoyable to say but I’ve little of anything at the moment. Feel pretty drained but that’s life and life goes on and you get on with the going on, as they say. Sure, I could choose to not do that but that’s pointless. I’ll just get on with the getting on and do my best to push through feeling drained, but maybe I cannot and if I cannot I just work with what I have.

Maybe instead of all of that I’ll curse the heavens. I’ll curse the heavens for their appealing to my mood and what I’m dealing with and I’ll curse them for adding some sort of poetic poignancy to situations upon situations. I’ll shake my fist and scream out the true names of the stars and I’ll curse the heavens until there is no single curse left for me to cry out, and I will fall to the ground in a state of defeat, for I would no longer have the energy to continue on.

I will then curse the futility of my efforts, then I’ll go back home and I’ll think about all that I have learned, if I have indeed learned anything at all.

The likelihood is that I will not have learned a single thing, but at least I’ll be done. I’ll think about that and I’ll think about how the day was one of those days. After all of this I will think about how it will be time for me to sit at my desk, which is something I’ll do with vigour. Once that is done I will then go through a process of procrastinating which will then somehow lead to the process of writing.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 06:25:52

I’m glad this ended up being silly. It’s a little lighter than it could’ve turned out.

Written at home.

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Music Festival Dream

Posted on October 26, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

I was talking to Steve Albini whilst we were walking around a room. I can’t remember why, but I was hassling him about something and he told me that a set of songs from one of his projects was the best music that project ever did. I said something like “Yeah, but [song name here] was also pretty good”. The song in question was from the same release as the songs Steve Albini thought were the best from that project, but I may have been thinking about a different song.

I said something about how I was playing later at the festival that was going to be happening in the room we were in and he said he’d catch my set. I don’t know why, but after we parted it made me a little nervous. It may be due to how my music can sound and also due to not having played a show in a while.

There were these giant rectangular pillars in the room. The room itself was massive but also small. I started going up the pillars as there were people up there as the place was filling up. A friend of mine was sitting down on one of the pillars so I greeted him.

“Hey J Dilla.”
“We’re not doing this. We’re not doing this right now.”
“Doing what?”
“We’re not doing this Heartbreak High thing.”
“Relax, it’s fine. You can call me Nujabes.”

There was some more conversation but I can’t remember what it was about. I had to go elsewhere and so I moved on across some other pillars and the place had quite a lot more people in it than before. I think I had to make my way to a stage, but before much of anything else happened I woke up.

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Over the Surface

Posted on October 26, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

When I decided to process this photo I was looking at the thumbnail and saw the contrast of light and shade on the water. It’s something I like to see and not something I work with often enough. When I opened the photo I saw the gull and at first I thought it was odd, but I like the photo more for it being there. It’s incongruous with the water’s surface and so it holds attention, despite at the same time seeming like it could blend right in.

On a side note, the gull has a cockroach in its beak.

This is my submission into Leanne Cole‘s “Monochrome Madness” for this week.
I suggest checking out Leanne’s photography, as well as checking out what other people submit.

A lot of what people are submitting will likely end up here.

I hope you enjoy.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1179: Time to Keep on Going

Posted on October 26, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

It’s morning. It is before work and I’m trying to pick myself back up after a few days (or weeks, or months) of being on the floor, so to speak. It’s the way things go and it’s okay.

Sometimes you need help and that also is okay. If you need help, accept it if you can and pay it forward when you’re in a position to do so. Helps things get better and all that.

I wonder how much of my lack of motivation to get things done sooner rather than later has been driven by laziness and how much of it has been driven by other factors such as self-doubt, emotional state and all those other wonderful things that help drive us into states of inactivity. I’m not entirely sure as it certainly has felt much like a blur, or a series of events in which I am present but elsewhere and witnessing things very much from the outside as though they are vague actions among a series of vague whispers in which none matters even though it all should matter.

Of course thinking about these things has little use in the way of practical application, but at the same time trying to work out what has been going on is a good way to better reduce the impacts of it when it happens in the future, assuming it does happen in the future.

That all said, I can confirm that in part my ongoing sugar addiction certainly has not helped. Fell off, getting back onto controlling it, taking it a day at a time. Hopefully will stay on top of it for longer this time, but if not then I’ll fall off and pick myself back up again. It’s a process of living and sometimes I need help with controlling it, but usually I don’t and that’s okay. It’s okay to fall off and it’s okay to get help if you need it, and you continue on and you do your best to stay on top of things and all that.

So here I am, writing in the morning which is an improvement over recent times which have mostly been in the evening which is something that I’ve wanted to avoid. The comedown is hopefully over and I just need to keep on eating healthy and staying on top of that, and now that I’m saying this I’m wondering as to how much of my laziness is due to being lazy rather than due to sugar addiction. Right now that does matter, but it’s better to not put too much pressure on myself about it as I need to consider what I’m doing now.

Regardless, I’ll just keep on going and keep trying to look after myself and power on, and I’ll keep on rambling through time and space and gradually think more about what it is that I’m doing and not doing and then I’ll go from there.

Anyway, I think it’s time to keep on going.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 09:50:40

Probably the most open thing I’ve written in a long time.
Rough writing. It fits.

Written at home.

 

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Eriko Imura: Difficult to Say

Posted on October 25, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

This was written over three listens and it was quite difficult to write anything.
I feel I overthought it and that might have to do with the familiarity I have of the scene in which this song plays. Some of that seeped in which is okay, but I feel this would’ve been much better had I let the words flow more.

Eriko Imura’s (井村 絵里子) “Difficult to Say” is from Klonoa of the Wind: Door to Phantomile Original Soundtrack (風のクロノア Door to Phantomile オリジナルサウンドトラック). It’s the soundtrack for the game Klonoa: Door to Phantomile.

I hope you enjoy.

—

A need to reveal a truth comes to the forefront. Heavy are the sounds before they pause and let out a gentle touch and ring out to come forth and come clean.

A pressing situation begets weight and sadness, but instead of holding a grip it gives way to a sense of relief. Bonds remain firm in the face of revelation and a journey continues.

The sounds grow lighter and more assured. The weight remains but it doesn’t hold and can no longer press down. Gradually they seem to find an optimistic note to close on as the song ends.

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Distant Towers

Posted on October 24, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

Distance certainly can help for some photos.
I think in this instance it gives more of a sense of smallness.
Maybe also a sense of the quiet and sombre. Possibly a loneliness.

This is my submission into the two hundred-and-twenty-second Lens-Artists Photo Challenge. The theme for this one is “Mountains Are Calling“.

This is a part of The Blue Mountains and for that reason I feel it counts.
It’s also a space I want to check out at a closer distance than when I took this photo.
I find something curious about it and that could have to do with the contrast between the developed and the natural, or perhaps scene viewed and scene experienced. Not sure.

The host of the Lens-Artists challenges cycles weekly between the following people:

Week 1 – Tina

Week 2 – Patti

Week 3 – Ann-Christine aka Leya

Week 4 – Amy

Week 5 – John Steiner

Week 6 – Sofia Alves

Week 7 – Anne Sandler

Week 8 – Guest host

This one is hosted by Amy. John hosts the next one.

I recommend participating in the challenges. They’re open enough to allow for a fair bit of thinking about approach and closed enough to keep focus on meeting the theme of each one. If you don’t participate, you should still check out what others of the Lens-Artists community are submitting.

I hope you enjoy.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1178: Stretching the Whole Way

Posted on October 23, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

I do a big stretch and then I get on with it. Whatever it is, it is what I am getting on with.

I have a list of things that I need to finish off and I’m sure that I will tackle some of them in some order. Perhaps the order is yet to be set and perhaps the order does not matter, but there will be an order and that order will reveal itself as something that reveals itself as it reveals itself, in a revealing way.

Maybe there is no point to anything but the point is that I’m trying to scramble for words and put them together in a way that makes sense, then do the other things that I need to take care of that are queued up for the day. Assuming that there is indeed anything else other than that, I will find a way to pile on more things and then when the pile is done being piled on in a manner that lets it look far more organised than it actually is, and maybe that is okay. Maybe that is fine.

Maybe I’m just trying to buy some time.

So I sit here and not there and then I try to pretend to be all philosophical about the whole thing, but there’s nothing to be philosophical about. Actually, there is now that I think about it, but I’m going to keep on pretending that there is nothing to be philosophical about as somehow that makes me move on with the moving and grooving and then I get to say some things that may or may not make sense. So long as the words are in an order that makes sense it matters not. What matters most is that I’m here and I’m doing things but I am doing them far too late in the evening and perhaps it is too late to get much done, but it is what I am doing and I’m a bit like a stubborn person in my refusal to stop and rest, which I guess makes me a stubborn person who refuses to stop and rest so I don’t know as to where I’m going with that one.

At the end of it all I think that I’ve not much else to squeeze out of all of this, but I’m sure that with enough ashing I’ll find something else. I still have quite a few words to go and so I need to get to the end of this somehow but I don’t want to be stretching too much, though with that said I do have to admit that stretching is good. It is good to remember to stretch and it is good to remember that one’s limbs exist and need stretching on the odd occasion. Sometimes the regular occasion too.

I think I’ve stretched as far as I can so I guess I need to wrap this up. That said, I’m not sure which words to use.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 04:55:55

A messy ramble full of mess and rambling.
Empty, and so on and so forth.
That said, it has a certain flow. An awkward and rough flow, but certainly one.

Written at home.

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Cliffs Among The Rain

Posted on October 22, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

I thought I’d shared a photo of this specific bit of The Blue Mountains before, but I’m unable to find it right now. If I do I’ll update and link it to here.

A bit of rain in this photo which makes sense as it was raining. Creates a fog-like appearance which I like.

In parts against the cliffs it almost looks like the rain is getting concentrated. Maybe it’s more mist at those points; maybe it’s a trick of the light. I don’t know why some of the rain appears that way, but it’s nice.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy.

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Weathered Wood

Posted on October 21, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

I was trying to get a particular angle when I took this photo. It didn’t work out as well as I’d hoped but I still like the result. There’s a sense of distance, though these bits of wood are close together. There’s also a nice balance in colour, I feel.

I hope you enjoy.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1177: Awake for too Long, but not so Long That I Cannot Ramble

Posted on October 21, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

It is not yet eight in the morning and I already feel as though I have been awake for far too long. To be fair, I woke up before five this morning and I have not been able to get back to sleep, so I guess that is why I feel I have been awake for far too long. It’s not the worst thing in the world though so it doesn’t matter too much.

I went for a walk and on that walk I walked through some light rain. I was listening to music whilst I walked and I thought about the rain and how it seemed so dramatic despite just going for a walk. There was nothing major about it; just things seemed to line up in a way that led to me thinking about something which makes me think about how we assign meaning to things for various reasons.

I could say it’s all meaningless but it isn’t. A series of coincidences still can mean something on a personal level and that can (and often does) matters more than breaking things down and pointing out how these don’t necessarily mean anything but someone is assigning meaning to them, and really there is a time and place to discuss that kind of technical wankery so I’m not going to go into that right now as I don’t want to, to be honest.

Anyway, it rained a little and I was listening to music and I thought about the value of assigning meaning to things, though I actually didn’t think about that but more about how what I was experiencing lined up and I could perceive it as dramatic, and I kept on walking and walking along and saw some of my suburb in a bit of shitty weather. It was a nice walk but now I’m here and I’m feeling as though once more time is slowing down and I’m just here to experience what is going on. I’m here to take advantage of what time I have before I need to start doing the thing that involves work and getting paid.

The day puts itself in front of me and I’m looking forward to what is coming, though at the same time I’m also looking forward to the day of work being over. It’s one of those “A lot to do, a lot will get in the way of doing” days but I’m here. I’m ready to be really tired before the day of work is over and I’m ready to try and get to the end of it whilst feeling awake enough to get stuff done.

I’m also looking forward to a lot of things but those things will come at a later date and are rather immaterial at the moment.

I think that what with this being awake for too long happening today, I should take it as some sort of sign that some sort of fate awaits me in some sort of rather mysterious manner.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 06:07:52

Slower than I hoped and this was a bit of a struggle. I think I was trying to go for the mundane but it didn’t quite pan out.

Written at home.

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