Yoshino Aoki: Freefall

One listen.

I think a big reason as to why I’m writing about a few of the songs from this soundtrack is due to the game being re-released recently. The soundtrack itself makes use of cheap sounds, but quite often it doesn’t sound cheap. Yoshino Aoki (青木佳乃) made some excellent decisions in how to use sound, and I think it paid off in a lot of ways.

Her decisions paid off especially with this track, where it’s very much about atmosphere and minimalism. The sounds have to put in a lot of work as there’s so little going on. It works well.

I’m not sure if I did the track justice, but I got across something about it well enough. There’s a lot one could dig into with it, of course, and I scraped the surface.

Yoshini Aoki’s “Freefall” (“自由落下”) is from the soundtrack for Breath of Fire IV, Breath of Fire IV: Original Soundtrack.

I hope you enjoy.

A heaving sound in a murky space. Other sounds seem to drip and vibrate around it, whilst another rings out muffled. It’s a space seemingly unpleasant.

A brief pause before resuming, and that ringing rings from a higher place. There’s a sense of the minimal coming through, then another pause and a return to what came before.

It’s difficult to tell if there is a fast or slow pace to what is happening, and it creates an unease that comes through. It creates a sense of malice, and it’s difficult to tell if it is intentional. But it is all sorts of uncomfortable through this minimal space with no room for breathing, and it remains as such as the sounds fade and the song ends.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1501: The Place Feels Empty

I get to work from home today, and that’s nice. The day is mostly just learning and going over notes I’ve taken, and that too is nice. But time is ticking away, and I’m going to miss this place. I don’t want to, but I will. That’s how it is, I guess.

I’m certainly not going to miss the noisy neighbours. I won’t miss the large amounts of dust. I will miss the location. I will miss having the space that I have. But I need to survive. That’s more important than having space to be as I see fit.

It’s a wet and miserable day, and the place feels empty and it is. I’m a little sad, but I’m a little feeling nothing also. I’m feeling like change is at hand, likely because it is. I don’t get that much say in that, and so it is and so it will be. Such is life. What else is new?

One day I’ll be able to sit comfortably, and I have a plan in place. Need to stick to the plan to get there, and I’m not sure if I can, but I will try to make sure. I cannot be in this position again as it’s too much to handle.

But I’m sitting here and the weather is miserable, but it’s not too bad inside. It’s kind of cold and it’s lonely, but it’s not bad. It’s still home but it won’t be for much longer, and it’ll take a while to decompress, but right now it’s home and it’s where I want to be. I can get through a few more days of being here, cleaning and packing things. Not sure if my ex will be here, but I will be. I don’t have much of a choice, really. Need to make sure the bond is returned. Need to make sure everything goes as smoothly as possible. Can I guarantee that? Not sure. But I can certainly try, and trying is what I’m going to do.

It has been a long eight years, but also a short eight years. I don’t necessarily regret the relationship, and I don’t regret tolerating some of the things I tolerated. It was worth it. I do regret not working hard enough on preventing the issues that I contributed to the relationship.

It was a relationship worth having – that’s how I see it – but I do wonder if I should’ve ended it myself early on, when there were cracks. I don’t know right now, and I do miss my ex, but I don’t miss her as much as perhaps I feel I should, but that’s okay. Sometimes it’s the way things go. It’s also not overly important. What is is focusing on getting into a better position in life. That’s something I can do and something I can keep building upon, and maybe I’ll just come out ahead at the end of it all. Maybe I’ll start seeing more success come my way.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 07:14:42

Bit fast, bit slow. Feels neutral and scattered. Not sure if it is; it’s just how it feels.

Written at home.

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Tree Limbs in Silhouette

Here’s the other side of this tree. I wanted to share this sooner, but didn’t, but now it’s here.

For some reason this photo reminds me of the cover for Talk Talk’s Laughing Stock. I think it has to do with the lighting.

I hope you enjoy.

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Yoshino Aoki: Truth and Dreams

One listen.

I Went in wanting to talk about the sounds. Clearly did not do that, but that’s fine by me. I think this works, though I’m not sure if I accurately captured the song.

Yoshino Aoki’s (青木佳乃) “Truth and Dreams” (“本当と夢”) is from the soundtrack for Breath of Fire IV, Breath of Fire IV: Original Soundtrack. The song is also known as “Truth and Fiction”, and that might be a more accurate English title based on how the track is used. Not sure.

I hope you enjoy.

Questions, concerns, doubts. They’re there, and perhaps emotions are running high, though not being presented as such. Things keep slipping beyond grasp, and maybe things seem more dire than yesterday. Maybe they aren’t, but they seem that way. Still, there’s a journeying that needs to happen. There’s a target that needs to be reached, though who knows how long it could take.

It could all be insurmountable, and maybe things are bigger than originally envisioned, but tomorrow still comes, and if tomorrow comes then it can be another day of moving forward. But all of this is beyond what was originally imagined, though what was imagined is difficult to tell at this juncture. But it continues on, and the song ends.

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Squirtle

Started this one a few days ago and finished it last night. I was going to try shading but I decided against doing so. Overall this didn’t take much time, which is obvious, but by the time I’d gotten this far I needed sleep and wanted to get onto the next thing, so I decided to stop.

I hope you enjoy.

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Yoshino Aoki: The First Emperor

One listen.

This one has been sitting on my list for about a week now. Have some time this morning so decided it’d be good to get it done, and getting it done I did… so yeah. Not a bad piece. It captures atmosphere quite well. I think I tried to get some of that across, though I wasn’t as successful as I’d have liked.

Yoshino Aoki’s (青木佳乃) “The First Emperor” (“ファースト・エンペラー”) is from the soundtrack for Breath of Fire IV, Breath of Fire IV: Original Soundtrack.

I hope you enjoy.

Percussion stirs in a weighted air. Sounds descend slowly, rise, seem hollow and full at the same time. There’s disconnect contained within an ever-continuing thread, and something feels tense.

Or rather, it feels otherworldly. There’s something here that feels unknown and still, and perhaps beyond. Meditative, reflective, and maybe something irresponsible too. It permeates through the sounds and their dryness, and they remain slow and deliberate. They are careful, and perhaps unknowing of what they do.

The sounds continue on. They continue on with their hollow fullness, and remain steady. They present themselves in a darkened space, and the percussion plays out until everything fades away and the song ends.

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Nitsua: Stargazing

One listen.

Got through this one easily enough. A lot more came forward than I was expecting, and I think that that’s a good thing here. Easy song to write about, so the words should come easy too… unless they don’t. But they did here, and I think I captured the song quite well.

Nitsua’s “Stargazing” is from soul of the sky.

I hope you enjoy.

Gentle keys sitting and resting, perhaps. Seemingly finding a calm wonder, and something existential among themselves. A little bit of sadness here and there, but also a lot of warmth. They form a bed upon which more keys roll down onto, and soft silky sound starts forming a soft cushion underneath and among.

Percussion pulses and all seems to slow down in this moment. All seems to be at peace and all seems gentle. It gets calmer, more pleasant, more relaxed, A little more sad, and existential, and more beat comes in, but it doesn’t become egregious.

But there is that comfort, and there is that wonder at what is out there, what lies beyond and far away, and it’s all within slides of sentimentality, almost.

Sentimentality and wondering about what is, and seeing what is out there, both alone and together in various stages, slowly going nowhere and ever moving forward, and holding in a moment and experiencing it all, and choosing to embrace the wonder and letting that be what guides, and sitting and appreciating in low laps of sounds. Appreciating, and watching it all disappear and fade away at the song’s end.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1500: Relaxed and Sad

This morning I walked almost eight kilometres to save a bit of money on parking. Well, also to avoid dealing with city traffic, but you know. Since then, it’s been a bit of a dead day. Going to try and do a few hours of packing soon, get some things sorted and cleaned up, and then get back to relaxing.

I’m listening to some easy music and tomorrow feels like it’ll be okay. I’m feeling pretty relaxed, actually, but I am still sad. Although I’d be happy to not see my ex again, I do also miss her. I look forward to that passing when it does. But right now there is a little bit of that sadness.

Things change over time, and you can’t expect everyone to remain in your life, and sometimes those changes hurt a lot. It’s probably due to now being able to relax a little that the hurt is coming through a bit more, looking as to which parts it can fill out, those sort of things. But it will pass.

I can take it easy for the moment, at least. I can deal with this, and get on with my days, and then go from there. That’s something to look forward to, I guess. Would rather let the hurt happen anyway. No point in trying to suppress it. That’s always a bad idea. Unhealthy way to deal with things.

I’m thinking about what’s happened over the past eight years, and I know that some of it has been missed opportunity, I think that perhaps I should have pushed harder in some places and definitely less so in others. I wonder if I’d feel I’ve wasted time in places had I done so. I’m being pretty vague here, mainly because I don’t want to touch much on the specifics, but I do wonder.

So now I sit here and it’s moving to evening, and I’m wondering about what will happen from here. I’m wondering as to where life will go. Tomorrow is a new day, and so is the day after. I need to clean myself up a bit. Not sure if I will, but I do need to. But that’s a problem for later. For now, I can just enjoy the afternoon before I get into the swing of doing things.

It’s nice to be able to relax right now, at least, because I know that tomorrow will be better than many of my recent days.

It has been a difficult few months and the clouds are yet to fully clear, but things are becoming clearer. This is good. This is some relief. I don’t need all the answers to everything now at this particular instant, and I don’t need all success at the same time either. I just need to keep my head down, stick to my plan, keep on going forward. It’ll take time as it always does, but I will get there. I’ll be okay at the end of this all.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 07:12:80

This feels tempered in a way that I appreciate. It doesn’t feel as framed by pain as a lot of recent writing.

Written at home.

 

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Homebush Road

For a period in 2011 and early 2012, I lived on Homebush Road, near Liverpool Road. It wasn’t a great place to live by any stretch of the imagination, and it was a stressful time, too. Living with people I didn’t quite want to, but felt I had no choice in the matter. I’d only been living out of home for around two years when we moved, and I’d only lived in one place. I didn’t have the experience, and didn’t feel I could afford a place on my own.

The place that we moved from, the lease was terminated due to the actions of my housemates. That wasn’t the best place either, but it was an awesome place to live. Ideal location, decent size. Should’ve taken better care of it though. Anyway.

So I’ve been driving along Homebush Road a fair bit recently, and I was thinking about hot it’s a bit of a boring road to drive along, but that’s okay. It’s another urban road; it doesn’t need to be appealing. But I’ve been driving along it and I’ve been thinking about how it’s changed, or rather how the place I lived in has changed. I’d been along it a number of years ago and seen the changes then, but now that I’m passing it more often, I’m thinking about it more.

It’s changed in that it no longer exists.

What was one a cheap house is now a set of apartments, far too conspicuous for the area they’re in, though hopefully better designed than the house that once was. But it does feel cold and extreme even though it isn’t, and that’s part of gentrification, really.

But I lived in this house and it was and intense one, in part due to issues with the real estate. It’s one that loved to threaten litigation against people who would leave bad Google reviews, which was almost everyone who reviewed them and it got to the point where they removed their listing on Google Reviews. They also threatened to sue another website for people reviewing them leaving bad reviews, which the website then commented on on their listing for the real estate. Early on this real estate sent us a rather exceptional bill which also contained threats, though that was overturned. Plenty of other issues too, including a rather suspect subdivision of the house.

It was also intense due to the personalities in the house, and just how full-on a lot of things were. This was a place that was crawling with cockroaches when we moved in, so we bombed the house and then taped up as many gaps as we could. The roaches stayed well away from everything after that, unless you were eating take out, in which you’d start see them coming out of the walls. This was a place where housemates would be randomly antagonistic toward others until they were shown their being wrong or they calmed down and moved on, leaving someone or everyone else with the wreckage. It was a house with some great parties and some great problems.

Public transport was good around the area, but it was also not. Missing the bus could mean waiting a while which could then mean being late to anywhere, and there were times where I was. Realistically I should’ve been in the habit of arriving early at the time, and I kind of was but kind of wasn’t. It’s one that took a while to develop. But I remember times when I would run across to the other side of Homebush Road and then put on my shoes as I didn’t want to miss the bus. Poor planning on my part.

There were many times when I’d walk to the home from Strathfield station, and it was somewhere between thirty and forty minutes of walking. I’d walk along Homebush Road, up and down its hills, and it was generally pleasant. Arcade Fire’s The Suburbs came out in 2010 and I never cared much for them, but I remember being at Ewe’s place when he was living in McMahon’s Point and he’d put on “Modern Man” which I both liked and didn’t, and I ended up getting the album. In 2011, walking along that road, some of it was more appealing. I think hearing “Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains)” somewhere may have helped. I’ve listened to the album here and there since but it hasn’t grabbed me in the same way, and with what came forward about Arcade Fire’s frontman a few years ago, they’re not a band I’m too enthused about returning to.

But it was an album that matched that walk really well.

I remember doing some shopping with my ex (the one whose dumping of me in 2014 led to my writing here more) and we had our bikes, and had to cycle back home in the rain with all of this food. She was staying the night and the rain was thick and dangerous, and visibility was minimal, and we made it back in one piece, thankfully, but it was scary. I remember cycling around the are stoned for around twenty minutes on a sunny day, and that was a great feeling and one I never want to repeat It was far too dangerous.

There was one party where we were all getting stoned and my friend Frank and his partner were there. So was my ex. We were ordering food from a nearby restaurant. My housemates and I would get takeout form them regularly, and get it delivered. They’d always end up taking a while because they’d be confused about the address. They were around forty, fifty metres away from us, and on the other side of Liverpool Road. We were too lazy to go in and collect it most of the time.

But anyway, Frank always took time to order food. He’d go over a menu and weigh up his options far more thoroughly than most people. That, combined with weed meant he was extra slow that evening. It was to the point where some people had forgotten that there was a food order being placed.

Frank got stuck particularly on their offering of crab omelette. He started getting deep into what it was. Far too deep, and he was going on about it for a while. When it got to the point where he said something along the lines of “Do they stuff the crab with omelette? Is the omelette in the crab?”, I told him that it was just a crab omelette, that it was an omelette with crab in it. I then got up and went to my bedroom because I couldn’t handle it anymore. He, his partner and my ex came in soon after to make sure I was okay, and I was but I just could not deal with his exploring the idea of a crab omelette anymore.

Near us and also on Liverpool Road was a liquor store, and I’m not sure if it’s there still. I remember seeing it once again years ago, but in going past it these days it hasn’t stuck out to me. It was a pretty regular one, but they had this alcohol (I think it was a liqueur) called Pamp. One of my housemates and I had eyed it off a few times and then we eventually took the dive. We couldn’t find information on it, or not much. We did find a business in another country that seemed to be the one that made it at one point, but by the stage we got the bottle it appeared to have stopped. The bottle itself was dusty, and there were concerns about how it’d be.

From what I remember, the label had half of a citrus fruit on the front, but I’m not completely certain. I also remember it being fine to drink, and tasting nice enough.

I remember my ex getting alcohol poisoning at that party, and heading to Concord Hospital with her and sleeping by her bed. She came out fine, but not feeling well. She threw up on the carpet before the ambulance came, and due to how the place had been treated before my housemates and I moved in, it was actually difficult to tell where the stain was.

My housemates were only there for around seven, eight months. We spent time trying to get the real estate to fix a light fixture that was leaking water, as well as get them to try and pay the power bill (the way the property was subdivided meant they were obligated to cover it). They sent us a notice to vacate. I ended up taking them to tribunal to get the money back, which I was eventually successful in getting done.

It was a pressurised time, living in that house. Had I known better and been more willing to break free from those housemates, I probably would’ve been in a better headspace earlier on. I ended up moving with them again, which was not a good idea and led to more issues, though that ended up leading to my living next to Ewe and Anna in 2013, and that was good. But a lot of damage was done before then.

I remember walking along Homebush Road and feeling all sorts of things. A lot of turmoil, but there were a lot of good walks, too. A lot of walks under pleasant skies, and a lot of boring times. It was a heavy time, but it was a light time too, and the walk was boring and enjoyable, and those days are now past me. Homebush Road is just another road, but back then it held meaning. Still does, really.

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Silhouette Against Clouds

Another shot of the earlier-shared photo of the tree and the sky, but this one capturing a little more colour of the sunset. Upon looking on it a bit more, this is a little more intense than I originally thought, but it carries a peace, perhaps. There’s a starkness to it, but it doesn’t feel severe, if that makes sense.

This is my submission into the three hundred-and-forty-eighth Lens-Artists Photo Challenge. The theme for this one is “Serene“.

The host of the Lens-Artists challenges cycles weekly between the following people:

Tina

Patti

Ann-Christine aka Leya

John Steiner

Sofia Alves

Anne Sandler

Egídio

Ritva

This one is curated by Egídio. The next one is curated by Tina.

I recommend joining the community and participating in the challenges. They’re pretty straightforward, allow room for interpretation, and provide a good way to think about photography in general. If not, however, then at the very least you should check out what others submit to the challenges.

I hope you enjoy.

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