Stupidity Hole

Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1526: Willfully Blind

Posted on August 10, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

I’ve got to head out soon, but I’ve also got to write now. I’ve got to write something. I’ve got to get thoughts down. Something. Anything.

Long week, long spiral. Spiraling for a few weeks and it probably started with the getting sick, and now I’m trying to get back on track. Trying to get ahead. Trying to keep moving forward and hopefully get my health back on track. Got a lot of stuff to try.

Trying to write right now is a struggle, but it’s a struggle worth having. I can feel in my arms, they lack the strength needed to keep on typing. I’m not sure what has happened, but I am persisting. I am pushing forward, because this is what I feel I need to do right now.

The interesting thing about need is that it can drive us in ways we don’t expect or want. It can push us in ways we don’t think we will be pushed. That’s not to say that it is always optimal; just that it is something. It is something we need to be aware of…

Need is something we need to be aware of. Brilliant writing, this.

But it has been a rough few weeks. I’ve been spiraling a bit and giving up too much. I don’t want to be like this. I don’t want to be downbeat. I want my sadness to be a happy sort of sadness. It’s not. It’s not right now and it’s not happening, and that’s life. There are worse things. It could always be worse. It could also be much better.

So what am I saying? What am I conveying? Where does the message lie? I need to head out soon and all I’m really saying is that I’m struggling and that doesn’t say much of anything. Last night I messaged a friend and told them that I was so tired, and in part that is due to lack of sleep. However, a lot of that also has to do with just being burned out, and very much not in a great state.

It all comes in waves and sometimes you just need to wait it out, and… well, I don’t have much of a choice, really. I don’t have a choice but to ride this out. But I’m so tired of it. I’m tired of the down and up and down, and I’m tired of a lot of things. I’m tired of having to be the one to take charge in a lot of situations, and I’m tired of the one who has to do all the cleaning up at the end of things whilst others proclaim how they’re being accountable and advocating for themselves whilst tolerating abuse in their lives to get ahead. I don’t know what to make of everything, and I’m tied of seeing people be shitty to others and be protected for it. I’ve my own things to work on, but too many people are willfully blind to themselves.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 07:23:19

Today is going to be a long day. I think this writing is quite emblematic of that. But we’ll see. Maybe it’ll compress into itself. Who knows.

Written at home.

Posted in Life | Tagged blind, burned, message, pushed, sleep, struggling, tired, write | Leave a comment

Pinched

Posted on August 9, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

A photo from a few weeks ago. Didn’t turn out how I thought it did, but I like it anyway. Sort of faded, minimal thing.

I hope you enjoy.

Posted in Photography | Tagged pinched, reflection, river, silhouette, sunset, Sydney, urban, water | Leave a comment

Ryota Kozuka: The World Desired by All

Posted on August 8, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

One listen.

Had to force myself into writing this. It’s short

Ryota Kozuka’s (小塚良太) “The World Desired by All” (“待ち望んでいた世界”) is from Shin Megami Tensei V: Vengeance ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK, the soundtrack for Shin Megami Tensei V: Vengeance.

I hope you enjoy.

—

A dulled brightness, humming before a gentle ringing spreads out around voices. The ringing descends, rises up, carries some sort of small grandness with it. More sounds come in, as well as another voice, and the follow the patterns et out.

More sound is added, something like a violin, or violins, and they expand the sound before it comes to a stop at a few keys and the song ends.

Posted in Music | Tagged desired, dulled, expand, patterns, ringing, ryota kozuka, shin megami tensei, spreads, world | Leave a comment

Arms up

Posted on August 7, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

Gone from having pain in one shoulder to pain in the other. Fun times. Taking it as a sign to keep resting, so not much other than this photo of arms for you.

I hope you enjoy.

Posted in Photography | Tagged arms, construction, crane, cranes, machinery, monochrome | 1 Comment

On the Keys

Posted on August 6, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

This was taken last year at a gig. Not my best, but I do like the form.

This is my submission into Leanne Cole‘s “Monochrome Madness” for this week. This one is hosted by Brian of Bushboy’s World, and he has chosen “Any Subject Backlit” as the theme.

This challenge is open to all, and I recommend joining in. If want to, check out more information about it here, and include the tag “monochrome-madness” when you share your photo. If you’d prefer not to join in, then at the least check out Leanne’s photography, and what other people submit.

I hope you enjoy.

Posted in Photography | Tagged keys, lighting, live, monochrome, monochrome-madness, musician, performance, person | 1 Comment

Power for a Light

Posted on August 5, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

Another angle of this utility pole, and perhaps a more dramatic one. Same pole, same sunset, different colouring, similar feel.

I hope you enjoy.

Posted in Photography | Tagged clouds, light, pole, power, sunset, urban, utility, wires | 1 Comment

Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1525: Close to Eight Months Left

Posted on August 4, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

It’s a wet day. It’s a rainy day. It’s a bad day. It’s a good day. I’m realising that, perhaps, I’m not fully recovered from illness. Or maybe I am but am getting sick again. I don’t know. I do know I’m tired, however.

But it’s a rainy day and I’m sitting here, relaxing. I’m waiting for food and I am looking forward to it. I’m looking forward to relaxing by the end of the day, and the start of the day is here. The start of the day is now. Or it was somewhere between seven and eight hours ago, but the day, for me, is starting now.

I’m thinking about the weather. I’m thinking about my shoulder, which hurts but not as bad as it did yesterday, and that’s a good thing, of course. I’m thinking about what I can be thankful for in life, and there are a lot of things. There are plenty of things I can be thankful for, but I’m restless and I need to get back onto getting on with things. Of course, I have been doing plenty but there are other things I want to be doing. There are other things I want to be getting on with.

I’m thinking a out all the drafts I have that I need to edit into some sort of readable form. Or rather, I need to make them less messy and more what is normally considered as presentable. But this is old stuff to talk about.

As the world turns, so do I, and I’m sitting here doing very little, but I’m writing. I’m working toward at least one goal, and I’m working toward the last day of this blog, and it’s coming. Close to eight months left. Time for things to start getting really heavy, I guess. Or not have them heavy.

There are so many choices and sometimes you don’t have much say in which way you go, but I don’t necessarily want to be heavy. I don’t necessarily want to be angry. Sometimes an ending can be a joyous celebration, but I’m not sure if this one can be. There’s so much blandness spread throughout; so much worthlessness, and anger and sadness. A lot of stretches of nothing punctuated by something, and I don’t know if I can effectively pull this up. I don’t know if I want to try and make everything a jubilant celebration of ending.

But I don’t want to be morose about the whole thing, either.

The sun is coming out and the rain is disappearing. This is a moment in time that’s holding on, and the sun will soon disappear again. It will, once more, be obscured by clouds. That is the way these cycles go. Well, when there’s rain coming, anyway… unless the rain has stopped… for now.

So maybe the last bits of writing here will also be in cycles. It is yet to be seen. It is yet to be determined. Guess we’ll see.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 07:49:73

Written earlier today.
Time to kick things into high gear.

Written at Dirty Red.

Posted in Life | Tagged choices, eight, left, little, months, shoulder, turns, writing | Leave a comment

Arch from Under

Posted on August 3, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

A photo of one of the arches of ANZAC Bridge from under it. Probably could’ve gone for something a but more even in frame, but this particular angle appealed to me at the time.

This is my submission into the three hundred-and-fifty-ninth Lens-Artists Photo Challenge. The theme for this one is “Tools of Photo Composition: Lines, Colors and Patterns“.

The host of the Lens-Artists challenges cycles weekly between the following people:

Tina

Patti

Ann-Christine aka Leya

This one is curated by John. The next one will be hosted by Leya.

I recommend joining the community and participating in the challenges. They’re pretty straightforward, allow room for interpretation, and provide a good way to think about photography in general. If not, however, then at the very least you should check out what others submit to the challenges.

I hope you enjoy.

Posted in Photography | Tagged Anzac, arch, architecture, bridge, cables, design, lens-artists, lines, monochrome, Sydney, urban | 6 Comments

Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1524: A Good Saturday

Posted on August 3, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

Got some sleep last night. Got some more sleep than the recent usual. This is good. Do I feel alive? No. Do I have exceptional shoulder pain? Yes. Do I feel less tired than I have for a good few weeks? Also yes.

I consider this an improvement, and so should you.

Yesterday was a big day, and mainly because I walked nearly ten kilometres. Why did I walk nearly ten kilometres? I misjudged. But it was a rainy day and I wanted to go into the city before seeing Ewe, who was in Sydney after dropping Anna off at the airport. I wanted to walk around and capture a city empty due to the rain. It had been a long time since I’d done such a thing and figured that it’d be a good opportunity. But there were people around. Still took photos.

Anyway, I walked around and appreciated a rain-swept city, or at least a small part of it, and I kept walking and headed back to Glebe and met up with Ewe, then took him to Duoly Rob. And it was a good time, and he liked the food, and we went to a rather diminished Glebe Markets before wandering about a bit and then went our separate ways.

Met up with another friend visiting Sydney after, did some more wandering about with him, went for food elsewhere, took him to where he’s staying, then headed home.

It was a good day. It was nice. It was easy. And these are small moments in time. These are small pockets that might not be remembered, but will have their feelings carried on into the future. It was a day enjoyed and everyone had a good time.

Not that I needed it, but it was nice to hear Ewe tell me about how he and Anna had noticed how much happier I seemed because I am happier. I am having a better time in my life than I was at the start of this year, and even last year and the year before then… It might be the happiest I’ve been in years. I don’t seek validation, or at the very least I try not to seek validation, but hearing from my friends – from the people who have seen me grow and change and stuck by my being me and being intense and all those things; from people who have had my back throughout my life – that they’ve noticed the change in me does make me feel a little better. It’s just a nice thing.

And hanging with my other friend was great, too. Hearing how he’s starting to reach goals in life and get into a better position was great, and I’m so happy for him, because he’s getting back to a position where he can start building his life back up again, and be better equipped to look after himself. These are small things, but they’re big things too, and they create moments we carry with us.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 08:59:13

Bit dull, bit slow, but I’m fine with it. Just a light, honest rambling about a good day.

Written at home.

Posted in Life | Tagged City, food, Future, markets, pockets, Saturday, small, Sydney, Ten | Leave a comment

Cross at Sunset

Posted on August 2, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

This is a utility pole near where I live, and it works well for intense photos with intense sunsets. Not sure if this image is intense, but it turned out the way I hoped it did.

This is my submission into the three hundred-and-fifty-eighth Lens-Artists Photo Challenge. The theme for this one is “Live and Learn“. I feel this image fits as it’s a photo I took by applying a few things I like; the utility pole shot in silhouette against an intense sunset, and little relational context; a certain heaviness that can come off as grim. I don’t think I would have taken this photo had I not spent a lot of time learning. It combines things I like in a way that I feel enhances the image overall, and it’s another photo to learn from for me.

The host of the Lens-Artists challenges cycles weekly between the following people:

Tina

Patti

Ann-Christine aka Leya

This one is curated by Tina. The next one will be hosted by John.

I hope you enjoy.