Just a poorly done Ms paint picture representing how I’ve felt.
It’s inadequate but I like it.
Enjoy.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!
Stuff this week.
I never thought I’d encounter something so aggravating, it would push me further towards moving interstate.
Isn’t it wonderful when your boss throws something upon you before asking you if you can do it, then belittles your competency when you object, then pseudo-threatens you?
Isn’t it exciting when your boss then further accuses you of more incompetency due to their lack if interest in investigating an issue that, had they, would have realised it had nothing to do with you?
Who loves being patronised by railway staff? I do!
I know that as my boss is my boss, there’s little I can object to when I’m given work. However, I find my boss difficult to have any respect for due to behaviour and general control freak attitude. Had I been asked before I was given a task I was unfamiliar with, I would have had no problem.
It’s not only my boss though.
The lack of caring, defensiveness and laziness of some new staff is woeful.
I love it when you tell them something we shouldn’t do for a customer and they then go and hassle others until they get advised that we can (procedural stuff).
Having skateboarder go in front of you whilst you’re on your bike waiting at lights in high traffic density area and having to try harder than usual to not be involved in an accident because they’re managing to block both cycle lanes is quite relaxing, let me tell you.
There is something I’ve always loved about cycling in Sydney. A lot of people look at you with disgust when you have a bike. It doesn’t matter if you’re on the road or walking it along.
Funny thing about walking your bike: people have a tendency to walk into it and get shitty at you. Even if you’re stationary.
I could keep going on. This week has found many ways to piss me off.
I won’t though.
Right now my stress levels are high. They’ll drop soon.
I’m glad this week is nearly done. I’m glad I see Neurosis tomorrow. I’m glad I’ll be able to sleep tonight.
Have not slept much this week either.
What I really want right now is for my ex to hug me tightly and I would hug her back and the stress would drop away and I’d melt and be relaxed again.
She had that effect on me.
Always was able to calm me down with ease. Far more than anyone else could.
I still miss her badly, despite being in contact with her.
I really want a cigarette.
Let me tell you all about how I lost and then found my license!
Not this weekend just past but the previous one I went out drinking with two work colleagues. I wasn’t planning on going as I had a birthday on as well as the opportunity to hang out at Luna Park with a few friends. However, as money was tight, I took the option to go out drinking as I was going to be drinking for free due to where we were going.
Well, it turned out the drinks weren’t free. However, one of the two (K) offered to shout for the night. And from there, it went.
The niece of my other colleague (Am) worked at the pub we were drinking in and Am wanted me to meet her. I thought it an interesting idea. It wasn’t something I was entirely invested in, but still excited about as it meant I’d be meeting new people.
Around drink four, Ams niece arrived. Did the whole introduction thing. Handled it decently as I was only a bit tipsy at this point.
Come drink six, I started to feel a bit drunk. I was somewhat surprised as usually bourbon & coke hits me a bit faster. I went up to speak to Ams niece and after a few sentences, I told her I’d ran out of things to say and left it at that.
After drink eight I was very drunk. It had finally caught up with me. Ams niece approached me and asks me why I was drinking with her aunt. I stood there in silence, trying to think of a witty retort. However, after a good amount of awkward silence, all I could say was “stop taking advantage of my drunkenness. I have nothing witty to say”.
After drink ten, I was close to being too drunk. My last drink for the night was a JD and coke as the bar ran out of bourbon by that stage. I was disappointed, but there was nothing I could do. Besides which, it didn’t bother me that much at the time as I was able to meet people I don’t know, despite my being totally incapable of holding a conversation.
Shortly after a successful journey to get food after leaving the pub, we went our separate ways. I managed to get home, throw my license, debit card, keys and money on the floor, put my jacket over them and went to bed.
Managed to avoid a hangover (something I’m mysteriously good at doing). However, I didn’t have nearly enough sleep so I was quite tired on Sunday.
Ewe, Anna and I were heading off to do the Spit bridge to Manly walk, followed by visiting the Manly art gallery for an exhibition on Midnight Oil they were hosting. I threw everything I left on the ground into my bag and then we headed off.
When we reached Wynyard to change buses, I went to look for my license and debit card as I felt something was off. When I couldn’t find them, I started to panic.
Ewe and Anna told me to wait to do a full bag search until we get to Spit bridge as we’d have more time.
Unfortunately I was unable to find it when we got there.
My panic increased further. I didn’t have the money to replace my license. I didn’t care much about the debit card.
I calmed down about an hour after starting the walk, accepting that there was nothing I could do.
The walk was quite lovely.
So was the exhibition.
I had the day off on Wednesday last week so I used the free time to replace my license. I’d already cancelled my debit card on the Monday and had managed to get some cash to organise the license.
Up to ten business days to be sent out to me.
I was somewhat annoyed by that. It used to be that you would get it ten to fifteen minutes after having your photo taken. Times change though.
Now I was planning on seeing Neurosis on the weekend just past. It was the first time they were going to be in Australia and whilst I don’t like everything they do, I still wanted to see them quite a lot. I have for a while. However, with no license meant I would not be able to get into the venue they were playing as I still am regularly asked for ID, something else that annoys me.
However, I accepted that there was most likely nothing I could do.
On Friday my 3ds broke. I found out it was either a loose or damaged ribbon based on what it was doing (would turn on for a few seconds, make a popping sound and then shut off). This was something that was also annoying, but it was fixable so I didn’t stress over it.
On the way home, I spoke to Fe briefly as he and his partner were going to see Neurosis as well. I told him that he’d better have a good time seeing them on Saturday, to which he replied by telling me he would when he sees them on this Saturday coming.
I found myself very happy as I now had a chance to see them.
When I arrived home, I found my new debit card in the mail. Made me a bit happier as I had a bit more financial flexibility. I then started attempting to pull apart my 3ds and found that my smallest screwdriver was slightly larger than the screws I needed to remove from the part behind the battery. A bit disappointing, but nothing I could do about it at that stage. I put my 3ds on my bedside table and then went to grab my PSP to play Monster Hunter (as I’m a fan).
As I pulled it out of its case, I found my license and my now replaced debit card.
I think I spent ten minutes making frustrated yet relieved sounds.
Come the Saturday just past, I realised what I had done.
I’d placed the license and debit card in my PSP case so I wouldn’t lose them.
So I wouldn’t lose them.
So I wouldn’t lose them.
I told Ewe and Anna this. We found it amusing as when we were at Spit bridge, Ewe suggested I check the case to which I told him it wouldn’t be in it as it only holds the PSP.
It was a good laugh.
And with all that being said, now I get to see Neurosis! Huzzah!
Every now and then when I’m on my bike, I’ll cycle down to Greenwich wharf, catch a ferry to Birchgrove wharf, then cycle home via Balmain.
I quite like the view at Greenwich wharf. I think it’s quite calming, serene and beautiful.
Anyway, here are a few shots I took earlier in the year.
Enjoy.
I woke up roughly two hours ago.
Almost had four days of good sleep.
Too tired for this.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Who invented work on a Friday?
Who sat down and went “you know, I don’t think four days of pain is enough; We need a fifth”?
I will hunt the bastard down!
And what the hell does nasturtium mean?!
After doing a quick search, I’ve found out. It is any plant from the genus Tropaeolum.
Looks like this phone is useful for unknown words sometimes.
Anyway…
Can’t I have enough full sleeps in a row to feel awake enough to have complete focus again?
I need it to update my résumé!
Sure, I can write on a small amount of sleep but I need more to have enough focus to work on things that will help me get a better job.
Too tired for this.
WHYYYYYYYYYY?!
On a serious note, working on a Friday isn’t bad. I am going to be fairly grumpy today though.
Well, more than usual.
My sleep pattern is improving a lot, so I’m happy about that.
I bought bagels for work so I can now have a plain bagel with cream cheese at work. No large cappuccino though.
Pardon the plugging of the self. I wanted to stroke my ego this morning, despite how poor a writer I am.
This weekend is going to be a good one.
Well, it was.
I was going to be seeing Neurosis. However, my ID went missing last weekend. I’ve been over 18 for a while, yet I’m still asked for ID when I head out. It gets a bit frustrating after a while.
Still, making roast and hanging out with Ili will be fun.
Well, back to dreading the work day for me!
Whilst I was walking to the bus stop on Monday I saw this. The seagull was guarding the inside of the bin somewhat aggressively. I found it humorous and cute. I was lucky to take the picture as it flew away shortly after.
I like how the seagull on the rim of the bin partially looks as though it was cut and pasted in, as well as how carefully it is watching the one inside.
Made me wish I had my camera more than usual. Oh well.
On Monday night I had a fairly intense dream. I was in a plane flying somewhere and we had to go through some clouds. In the middle of the clouds was a huge dark patch. I was talking to someone… one of the pilots I think. I asked if there was another way around. The pilot said there wasn’t and that we’d be fine.
As the plane drew closer to the dark patch, ice started hitting and sticking to the cockpit window. The ice was hitting faster and faster over time. Then I woke up.
When I was a kid, I would get nosebleeds fairly frequently. Around the start of my teenage years it stopped happening, thankfully, but it was becoming a serious problem at the time.
I remember them being light sometimes and heavy most of the time. Eventually would could be described as a huge clot would come out and the bleeding would stop shortly after. Being a kid and having this happen, I wasn’t aware of what it could have meant. To me it was a part of life that was inconvenient and frustrating, but that was it.
Over the past couple of days, I’ve had some dried (and wet) blood come out of my nose whenever I’ve blown it. I am a bit concerned but not enough to make me worry too much.
Bleeding aside, I do like how breathing feels afterwards. Kind of like a mint is in there.
I’m not sure if that is strange or not. Oh well.
Every now and then I wake up and feel as though my ex is holding me. It’s weird because I remember how her arms and hands and body felt so well, it comes as a shock that she’s not actually there. I guess that has to do with the brief period of becoming aware when waking up.
Tonight I’ll be doing body conditioning outside for the first time in a while. For the last 6 weeks it has been inside, so I’m looking forward to the change.
I know I’ve improved a lot since I started, but I could be much better than I am right now.
Sometimes I stare into space and begin to lose myself in my thoughts. It is almost as if I leave the room with only an image remaining. My mind runs a lot faster than my mouth can, so when I drop completely into it a lot more thoughts come flooding in over a small amount of time. After a few minutes I return to reality very suddenly. It always feels much longer though.
No real updates in regards to my ex. Still missing her. Still wanting to see her lovely smile and her beautiful eyes. Still wanting to show my worth but thinking it’s a bad idea. Wanting to do all the stupid stuff we used to do together. Wanting to hold her tightly. Wanting to blah blah blah blah blah… EX!
You all get the idea at this stage, but I am a confused and somewhat angsty young adult.
Oh well. Conditioning time.
Pardon the second post for today.
I took this photo 20 minutes ago on my way home (sadly with my phone and not mt camera) and I like it so much that I’ve decided to share it now.
It was taken at Sydney Fish Market as I was going past (as it is on the way home).
Seeing this was amazing for me. I found it incredibly beautiful and somewhat epic. I was feeling happy beforehand but now I feel even happier.
Hopefully you like it as well.
I was going to talk about my ex again this morning and how much I love her and want to hold her and tell her all things I want to tell her but don’t feel I should. However, I decided against it as I’d rather put up another picture.
I think this was taken in the afternoon.
It was probably in my backyard.
Not entirely sure.
Well, enjoy your day!
I have seen Zardoz far too many times. I’m trying to work out how many right now.
I lose track after eleven.
I decided to do a “trace” of Zardoz for Ili today whilst i was at work, as he enjoyed the film a fair bit when I introduced it to him.
I lost forty-eight minutes of my life to this picture.
Anyway, here it is in all of its ridiculous glory.
Stupidity Hole 