Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1417: Easier to Grumble

Well, it has been a week thus far.

I mean, of course it has, but anyway.

So I’ve been working on a lot of photos, as one does, and I’ve been getting through them, processing them. Had to reprocess a bunch due to, for some reason, the software I was using not showing a preview of the actual results unless I zoomed in to 100%. I can’t remember a time this has happened before, and I hope it never happens again as it ate a lot of the time that I had and put me a bit behind. Lesson learned, or something.

But I’ve been charging through things, trying to stay on top of the load of work that I have and falling behind as it’s not actually that much work, but I keep going and trying and all that stuff, and right now I’m sitting here, waiting for the work day to begin and waiting to get through it so I can photograph another gig, and then move on and do the next thing and so on and so forth. You get the idea. I don’t get the idea, but I get what I get and I get that today is just one day of many, and a busy week is not a bad week, but I do wish I had more sleep.

Always do, really.

So I’m between concerts and I don’t know if I’ll do well tonight. Bit worried, if I am to be honest, but still going to give it my all. Possibly more worried about having to redo the photos as that’s not something that I want to do. If I have to, however, I have to, which is an obvious thing to say, but you know.

So I think I should just stop writing now and get ready for work, but I don’t want to. I want to go back to sleep, but I want to look at more photos, but I also want to get through the day and the only way I can do all of these is by splitting myself into three people, or something. Can I do that? Do I want to do that? Seems like too much effort. Easier to grumble and complain and then get on with it in this particular instance, I think, and that’s what I’m doing, so mission accomplished.

Still, there’s a day ahead and there’s work to do and I can sit here and relax a bit and then get on with the getting on and keep listening to this music which is relatively pleasant, but I’ve got to kick into high gear in a sec as there’s a lot to do and I’m the one to do it, and do it I will, but I’ll do it with the right amount of energy required to get it all done, and that will be that and I’ll be good and golden and all sorts of other words that I can’t think of using right now.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 05:45:76

Decent speed, but I sort of hit a wall around midway through. A bit more jumbled than I’d hoped.

Written at work.

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Lark Looks on

So here’s this magpie-lark, and I don’t think I was too close to it when I took this, and I think overall the photo works. I think it could’ve been better in terms of depth of field, but overall I like the result.

I hope you enjoy.

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Lifebuoy

I’m pretty sure I’ve walked past this lifebuoy before I took this photo, and I’m pretty sure I didn’t realise I had until this photo.

Bit of a stark image, but safety is to always be taken seriously.

I hope you enjoy.

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Rave Night

I was going to submit this photo for this week’s Lens-artists photo challenge, but I feel the one I submitted is better. Still, I like this one as it gets across the flow of motion at a rave, I think… or at least some of it anyway.

I hope you enjoy.

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Uncertainty Ahead

Very roughly six months ago I started a new job, and a couple of days later I was with my partner seeing The Dandy Warhols. I was there to photograph, and we saw them and left early because it was a work night. The Dandys were enjoyable, though I know some people said they weren’t that good. Of course some bands have good and bad performances, but I’ve said some variation of this before: you go to see The Dandy Warhols to see a Dandy Warhols performance. They’re not the tightest band in the world, or at least obviously tight, but their music is fun and it sounds good in a live setting.

But digression aside, it was a work night so we left early. I don’t think I got enough sleep anyway, but I went to work the following morning, and over time I kept learning and making mistakes and learning and making mistakes, and learning and trying to do better.

On Friday afternoon I was advised I’m passing probation. To say that the relief was immense would… probably be accurate, actually. The meeting went overtime, and I was sweating heavily and quite tired from lack of sleep, and I felt much better about it after.

I’ve been away from call centres before, but now I’m in a more secure position. Now I don’t have to start looking for another job and consider call centres.

I worked out a while ago how may calls I’d taken, and over time I went over one hundred thousand, or at least I’m confident I did. My voice might be one of the most heard voices in customer service in Australia, period. I don’t feel good about that. Sure, there were good times in the jobs I worked, but so many of the jobs were mired in abusive management, overlooking shitty behaviour from some workers whilst focusing on others (for example, in one place someone actively and openly sexually harassing some of the staff flying under the radar somehow), unnecessary giving way to customers rather than actually giving customer service, and a whole slew of other things that I don’t want to get into as I’d be here for ages and don’t have too much time at the moment. I might another time, but essentially I look back at a “career” that was more than half my life thus far and I remember some good things and a lot of bad.

Call centre work was a space I spent too many of my formative years in, and I’m definitely appreciative for some of what I got, but there’s a lot of baggage I carry and that will take time to unpack, but it’s happening.

For a while I was concerned I wouldn’t get out, and started giving up. For those who have known me long enough, or been in regular contact with me long enough, they’ve probably seen my stubbornness when it comes to trudging through really unhealthy situations, and also my honed ability to cut myself down.

The last sixish months were been a hard and sharpened mixed of emotions, and a lot of it I’ve spent trying to not self-sabotage, and I got there.

I said this when I started the new job and I’ll keep saying it: I didn’t do this alone. Sure, I had to put the effort in and follow through on my willingness, but it was a team effort that helped me get to the interview, and it was a team effort that helped me get through probation. I wouldn’t have gotten out of the toxic job situation I was in if I didn’t have support.

I can get back to living life properly instead of feeling like I’m surviving most of the time. I can get back to doing my artsy-fartsy stuff without constantly feeling stressed about what I need to be working on.

The people I want to thank are too numerous to list. They know who they are, and I’m highly grateful, and over time I’m gonna give them the biggest hugs I can. Obviously I’m grateful to my partner too as she’s had to see a lot of my giving up and stress, and she helped keep me going. I want to hug my siblings, but most of all I want to hug my stepmum, who has always believed in and encouraged me to pursue both a better life and what I enjoy doing.

The reason why I mentioned The Dandy Warhols is that a few hours after that meeting I was photographing toe’s first performance in Sydney. That was either going to be a really joyous or miserable experience for me… though it was mostly just somewhere closer to pleasantly enjoyable. And that’s fine, because I did enjoy the gig, and I enjoyed the support act, and it was overall a nice night, and I stayed for the whole thing too. But it’s interesting as a bookend of sorts, as two different bands at two different points of relief in my life, and  now there’s a good deal more openness.

Of course I’m not entirely out of the woods, but I’m getting closer to a space where I am more able to “live” life, after so many years of not “being able to”. There’s a difference between feeling like you’re surviving and getting enjoyment here and there, and actually enjoying stuff, but I’m getting there, and it’s good. It’s a nice change.

There’s uncertainty ahead – when isn’t there, really – but I don’t mind.

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A Weekend for the Milky Way

Alright here we go.

A good few Fridays ago, D-Man and I headed off into The Blue Mountains to go look at stars and be existential and “deep”.

D-man met me at work. A few minutes after I finished I was out and we headed off to the car. Loaded stuff in, hopped in, drove off. It was not long before we were making a detour to D-man’s place so he could go and grab the tripod that he forgot to take with him.

Naturally this added a bit of extra time to the drive. Despite my finishing work at around four in the afternoon, traffic was plentiful. Despite the detour only being about eleven minutes, it was enough for the traffic and our travel time to increase significantly. But we dealt with it.

As we were driving out of Sydney we could see traffic heading into the city backing up, and it was backed up for quite a while. Traffic out wasn’t great, true, but traffic in was horrendous for that time of day, and for that day alone. Usually it’s the opposite. But it wasn’t something that affected us.

So we drove up to Katoomba and we checked in to where we were staying for the evening, and we set a bunch of stuff down, then headed off for dinner. We found somewhere nice enough, and it was okay, and I told D-Man that he should start a burger review blog. Told him the whole idea too, because it would work best if it was one that he did.

Actually, before we ate we were tossing up between two places to do so, and it was dark and we had to consider time as there was still a bit of driving to do. The place we went to, it was decent enough, but after – and I don’t know if he was being serious or not – D-Man said we should’ve gone to the other place. But anyway.

So we ate and left and then we quickly popped into a place where a friend of mine works but he had the evening off. I’m fairly certain we then left Katoomba and headed off to where we were going to take photos of the stars. We may have headed back to where we were staying to grab a few more things, but I don’t think we did.

We drove off and we took the turn we needed to take, and we parked in a little spot just off the road. Winds were fierce, and the spot I picked had smaller trees above. I figured that if a branch fell, better a smaller than a larger one.

We sat there for a while and talked about life things. You know, the kind of things that are reflective that you talk about when you’re in your twenties when you’re trying to figure things out, and then talk about in your thirties… when you’re trying to figure things out, even though you were in your twenties and will when you’re older. We talked for a while, and there was perhaps too much ruminating and how people are and experience and all that stuff, and eventually we got out of the car to go up a hill in the dark.

D-man had, a couple of months prior, injured his foot and was still wearing a support shoe. It was windy and he was injured, but I was ready to go and so was he. Had one strict caveat though: The moment D-man wasn’t feeling it, or it seemed to dangerous and he wanted to turn around, I would, no questions asked. Life is too short to not experience things and the wonder of what’s outside of heavily urbanised areas; it’s also too short to take exceptionally dangerous risks.

But we went up and we were fine, and we set up and got photos and saw the stars. The wind was heavy, though not constant, but our being in an open space and exposed to it all did make things feel a bit more sketchy. But up there, among it and more obviously under the stars and under The Milky Way, and things just washed away.

Was it complete wonderment? No. But the process of setting up and making sure our gear was safe, and looking at the stars and how the shots turned out, and all that stuff really held focus for however long we were up there, and it was beautiful. We joked around a bit, and we took our photos and we had fun, and then when we were ready we headed on back down.

It was pretty cold too.

Packed our stuff back into the car and drove back to where we were staying, and crashed for however many hours we slept. I can’t remember what time we got up, but we woke up the following morning pretty early, got our stuff in our room together, prepared and left so as to drive to another location before sunrise.

At this point I made D-man listen to Nadja’s “Thaumogenesis”, the title (and sole) track from their album, Thaumugenesis. I’d been meaning to have him listen to it for a while, and I wanted to also test it as a driving track, see how it worked. It matched the early morning darkness well, as well as the transition to light.

Where we were driving to, I actually wanted to reach by first light, and we didn’t leave early enough for that. However, we did get to the spot whilst the sun was still rising, and though the main event had passed, we still were able to get some of the “announcement” and its remaining morning light in a fairly open space, and it was just a nice thing.

We walked a bit, took more photos, went back to the car and then drove further into where we were for a while, and eventually turned around due to how time-consuming it would’ve been had we continued.

Had breakfast in Lithgow, then made our way back to Sydney with some stops along the way, including a pointless argument probably induced more by lack of sleep than anything else. Overall, however, it was a good time.

I don’t want to read over this as it probably doesn’t read well. I could do better, but I started writing this about five weeks ago, and it’s already long enough. I wanted to try and express a time and experience, and I could do better, but this will do for now.

 

 

 

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Yasunori Nishiki: Dear Travelers

One listen.

I think that, from what I wrote (I wrote this one a few days ago; none of the writings from songs of the same soundtrack were shared on the day they were written), I was thinking more about the emotional content than what the sounds were doing, and I think that, considering the type of track this is, doing so worked well.

This is probably the last song from this soundtrack that I’ll cover for a while. Mainly I did this batch of songs as I wanted to remove the soundtrack to save some space, but wanted to cover some of the songs first. Might get it again some point down the track. Not sure.

Yasunori Nishiki’s (西木 康智) “Dear Travelers” (“旅人たちへ”) is from Octopath Traveler II‘s soundtrack, Octopath Traveler II Original Soundtrack.

I hope you enjoy.

Gentle and fragile are the keys as they tell their story. In this story, a reflection of what has been, and perhaps what will be. The time has passed and memories are as such, and time continues on.

Perhaps an emotional moment; one of relief and reflection, as paths change and lives move, and threads are untangled. Or maybe they aren’t. It’s not melancholic; not bittersweet, but it is happy and sad.

On one hand the keys look back and on the other they look forward. They almost reminisce, and they play their delicate tune, with both heaviness and lightness, and they soon fade as the song ends.

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Yasunori Nishiki: Ruins Immemorial

One listen.

This one came easy, and the drama of it felt more fitting too. I think I was able to get enough down, and overall there’s a decent idea of the song.

Yasunori Nishiki’s (西木 康智) “Ruins Immermorial” (“悠久の遺跡”) is from Octopath Traveler II‘s soundtrack, Octopath Traveler II Original Soundtrack.

I hope you enjoy.

Keys rise in a quiet, and more keys, much higher up start echoing down, seemingly dancing. They take careful steps, but they are not hesitant. Soon strings fill the space between, and they seemingly reshape some of the melody.

A rising of percussion, and so does woodwind, and all the expansive sweep of the drama becomes apparent. It reaches through a past and pulls to the present in a slow and graceful movement as sound spreads out its dramatic motion, revealing a beauty of the passage of time whilst pressing upon a slight urgency.

All returns to the start, and it’s almost as though the ticking of a clock, or at least a demarcation of the passage of time, even when the strings come to fill the space once more.

That sweeping reveal returns, and in it that urgency seems a little more apparent now, but also a slight lifting of weight. The space seems to breathe, almost, and it seems to come alive, or at least that’s implied.

Eventually, however, the sounds begin to fade out and the song ends.

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Flowing Sound

A couple of nights ago I was photographing toe who were performing in Sydney. Decided to play around a bit with shutter times, got this one. During processing I realised it wasn’t as good as I thought, but I still like it. I like the sense of flow that comes through.

This is my submission into the three hundred-and-twenty-first Lens-Artists Photo Challenge. The theme for this one is “Intentional Camera Movement“.

The host of the Lens-Artists challenges cycles weekly between the following people:

Tina

Patti

Ann-Christine aka Leya

John Steiner

Sofia Alves

Anne Sandler

Egídio

Ritva

Anne is curating this one. The next one is curated by Ritva.

I recommend joining the community and participating in the challenges. They’re pretty straightforward whilst allowing room for interpretation, and provide a good way to think about photography in general. If not, however, then at the very least you should check out what others submit to the challenges.

I hope you enjoy.

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Yasunori Nishiki: Gloomy Grotto

One listen, and here I swerved off a bit, though maybe it doesn’t seem like it. I think it’d be better to say that I swerved away from how I wanted to write, but that doesn’t matter too much anyway as I think the result works well enough,

This song doesn’t go for the sweeping and dramatic, or at least blatant dramatic, and perhaps it’s unfair to say that Yasunori Nishiki does that dramatic moment a lot. Perhaps. I realised during the listening of the soundtrack this song is from that it feels really long, probably because it’s a little over seven hours, but it feels long well before reaching the end. That is a lot of music to compose and I respect the commitment to the work, but I don’t think the album makes for a good listening experience unless you break it down into parts.

Yasunori Nishiki’s (西木 康智) “Gloomy Grotto” (“仄暗き洞窟”) is from Octopath Traveler II‘s soundtrack, Octopath Traveler II Original Soundtrack.

I hope you enjoy.

Low and seemingly murky notes, though perhaps they’re just, and only, quiet.
Keys are deep and the woodwind plays with a gentle waft, whilst strings pluck carefully.

Soon the strings replace the woodwind and stir and spread. A glittering of percussion briefly heard whilst the strings play through this stuffy space.

The unease lifts to focus on keys and light percussion for a moment, and the space is still whilst the moment holds here. Then it returns to the downbeat stuffiness.

And perhaps that’s the best way to describe this, as it does sound stuffy, as though the space has remained untouched for a long time and it has not had much circulation of what we think of as fresh.

So the strings stir once more, but they hang low to the ground, and they once more had followed the woodwind, and that unease remains, and once more it lifts when the moment focuses on the keys and percussion, and it seems it’s a glimmer of light before returning to the dark, where the sounds fade and the song ends.

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