Cold Quiet Morning

Posted on June 28, 2024 by Stupidity Hole

This photo came through more in processing. There is a colour version where, even though it was a cold morning, the area feels less… grim, I guess, than it does with this result. Likely has to do with the morning light. Anyway, I prefer the below as I feel the monochrome works better with the lighting in this instance.

I also think that there’s more of a sense of space and isolation that comes through in how I processed this. This area isn’t isolated, but it certainly can feel isolated, and for some people that’s okay. I know I’d be somewhat okay with it myself, but I don’t know for how long.

I hope you enjoy.

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One Thousand Word Challenge 208: Rambling Thursday

Posted on June 27, 2024 by Stupidity Hole

Feeling like writing again. Maybe it’s all the writing I’ve done today. What do I write about, though? I feel like it, but I’ve nothing. I’ve shaken the well dry and my ocean is  not much of anything. That’s the way it goes, sometimes.

I do have to admit though that the drive is there. I’m tired, but I feel the need to push on through and get through it all and keep going because that is what I desire to do, I guess. Could desire other things, but right now that is what I want to do. I want to weave words into a pattern and a formation, and I want to construct sentences. I want t0o build something that stands tall and collapses easily. This structure is not meant to be sound; it’s meant to be words.

I wonder as to how much time I have left on my lunch, and I think about the things that I could be writing but evidently am not as right now I’m writing this. I’m trying to squeeze words out  of a rock, and by “rock” I mean I’m just writing words. I’m dismantling the thing that I said as I write it as that is a sensible thing to do.

I think I’ve said this before, but I wonder as to how much of what I listen to influences how I write. I’m wondering if what I’m listening to right now is shaping what I’m writing more than I’d like to let myself believe. I’m wondering if I can write enough words to fill however many words I’m about to write before the song ends.

This would be easier with a full keyboard, though maybe it wouldn’t, but I digress.

As sounds fill my ears I try to decode the things and I try to understand. I’m trying to understand just how much I’m letting my writing be shaped by the sounds. I know that I am being affected right now, but I wonder to the extent. I wonder.

I wonder a lot, and maybe I don’t think enough. That’s something I should probably try to work on, but is it worth working on? Aren’t there more important things to worry about? Well, thinking IS important – that’s something I need to keep in mind – but is it always important? Aren’t there times where it’s better not to think?

I don’t know. There probably are, but they aren’t coming to mind right now, so I’m going to keep on charging ahead. I’m going to keep on slinging and see what comes forward.

Hopefully this is the year where I finally get on top of everything and I get on with the getting on, and I try to achieve something I’ve been trying to achieve for a good few years now. I don’t know if I will, but I might, and if I might, I could very well do. However, it does require a lot of effort to do the thing I’m not mentioning, and I don’t know if I have the energy to do so.

The older I get, the more I want to check other things and all that stuff, and I am. I’m seeing more than I would have when I was younger, and I’m trying to keep that up. I’m trying to think and reflect more, and I’m trying to bring more people into these experiences when I feel comfortable doing so.

You know, you see things on these long drives and they may make you think, and sometimes it’s just you in the car and you’re going at some speed, just driving along and you see cleared space and openness, and sometimes a fog is there and it gradually clears as it frames everything along the way, and it’s all space, but you sometimes feel enclosed in it anyway.

There’s a certain beauty that you can see in that solitude, intentional or otherwise, and maybe it registers and maybe it doesn’t; I don’t know, but the landscape seems to roll along, and you keep on driving even though you’re tired because you need to keep on going. You need to keep on moving, and sometimes you see other cars, and you know your destination and that’s what you’re seeking, whatever it may be.

There certainly is a lot of time to think on a long drive, and maybe that isn’t the best thing. Sometimes it is good, however. But what is it that you want? What is it that I want?

I wonder how much of my desire to write is driven by writing for the sake of writing. I wonder if it’s something that I believe is in me, and I wonder if I am telling myself that. I’m not a good writer, but maybe I’m a good thinker… for a certain style of thinking, anyway. These words are more permanent than a lot of the thoughts I have, but not by much. At the end of it all, these will fade away and disappear. They’ll just linger for a little longer than my thoughts, and that’s okay. That’s not the worst thing in the world. Not much should be permanent, and I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing, but it certain is a thing and that’s what I deal with on most days; things.

Perhaps I just need to go on another long drive and think about things. Perhaps I need to get away from it all and take it easy, or rather just take it hard. Really think about who I am, and what I am and what I am doing, and work out what it is that I should be writing about.

I could do that, and I could do that under a darkened moon and watch as the stars are gradually revealed as the veil of light pollution falls away. Eventually that will change to dawn to day, and I’ll drive for a good long while, I think.

The time it took to write one thousand words: 12:39:41

It seems that when I got for a longer write what I write is a bit more cohesive… sometimes.
Anyway, I think this is a bit better than some recent stuff, or at least the second half is better.

Written at work.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1375: Meaninglessness in a Sensible Format

Posted on June 27, 2024 by Stupidity Hole

Just doing a quick racing before the everything happens. It’s the morning; it’s a work day. There’s a certain sense of reflection that I’m trying to conjure from the mists of time and all that other fun stuff, and it’s not happening, and that’s the way it should be, really. Not the worst thing in the world.

Really I want to race so I can go and do some other things before work. I want to get a head start on this; I want to get a head start on today; I want to get stuff done and get moving, and then get my work done in a fashion that suggests enjoyment, as I’m still enjoying the work.

Feeling more comfortable, and I feel almost two decades of work I should’ve shaken off a long time ago slip away. It disappears in the distance, and it is almost forgotten. I have more energy to get things done, or I will be as soon as I’m fitter, and I’m getting there, and it’s great. It’s nice to have this changing happen in my life. It’s nice to feel things change, and it’s nice to feel as though I’m getting healthier. I certainly feel happier, at the very least, and I think that that’s a good thing… I think.

Maybe it’s not and maybe I’m just deluding myself,. I don’t know, and this isn’t what I want to be writing about, but it is what is happening and so I’m rolling with the words. I’m rolling with the thoughts, but I want the silliness to come forward. However, today feels like it will just have to be a serious day and I’ll just have to accept that, and that too is okay. It could be worse. I could not feel the desire and inclination to write anymore, and that is something that I would find great despair in. Would rather no, to be honest.

What if I stopped writing now? What if I put it all aside? What would that accomplish? There’s still so much crap to write, and I only have so much time, and so I need to get on with it. I need to write even more crap than I am writing right now. I need to churn it out and spread meaninglessness in a sensible format, and if I can do that, then, well… well, you know.

Perhaps things are good, and they are, or maybe they aren’t and I’m just doing well in this moment. Waves and all that. But maybe things are going to keep on getting better. I don’t know. What I do know is that I need to do a fair bit of preparation and saving so I can get myself into a position more ahead of where I am now, and I need to keep going, and if I do so, then perhaps I’ll be doing okay and I’ll have more stability. This job is the first step. There’s plenty more to do.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 05:56:66

Did alright. Very flat, I think, and perhaps too much meandering, but overall this is okay.

Written at work.

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Road Forward

Posted on June 26, 2024 by Stupidity Hole

The original of this wasn’t particularly good. It still isn’t as good as I’d like, but it is much better.

In processing this, I wasn’t sure what I was going for. I think I may have leaned on aesthetic considerations too much. I think the space of the area comes through well, but I also think that I should’ve tried to get across the coldness of the day.

This is my submission into Leanne Cole‘s “Monochrome Madness” for this week. This one  is hosted by Dawn of The Day After, and she has chosen the theme “Roads, Lanes, and Pathways”.

Participating is pretty straightforward and something I recommend. If you do, then include the tag “monochrome-madness” in your post. If not participating, then at the least check out Leanne’s photography as well as what other people submit.

I hope you enjoy.

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Underworld: Nylon Strung

Posted on June 25, 2024 by Stupidity Hole

One listen, and I feel I did the song a bit of a disservice. On one hand, it could be argued that there’s not too much going on in it, but a lot can come forward. It’s a bit more detailed and intentional than the surface suggests and it’s a strong mood piece, I think. Quite suggestive in a good few ways and what Underworld do here with sound is interesting, I think.

Why I feel I didn’t do well enough here is I kind of locked into one thing and didn’t do enough to flow with the song. I think I could’ve done much better. However, I also think what I wrote isn’t the worst. It’s okay; it gives enough of an idea.

Underworld’s “Nylon Strung” is from Barbara Barbara, we face a shining future.

I hope you enjoy.

—

Vocals stretch and echo among a looping melody. It seems quiet, and perhaps a little haunted, and final in a way. The beat comes in, and turns some of that around, or at least makes it less haunted. There’s a liveliness coming in. There’s an open door, and light is coming through, and maybe there’s some sound coming in.

Walking through, and there’s people there, and there’s noise but it’s silent. It seems still. They’re moving but it’s all still and there’s an isolation. There’s a sense of being alone, but there’s something coming through as more vocals stretch out and the beat seems to strengthen.

Something perhaps more sad and fragile starts coming through, and a yearning and pleading reaches out, and maybe it really is the end of something; as the sounds pulse onward, and as the rhythm continues to drive, it all seems heavy and sad.

A moment stretches out and sounds shift back to being more upbeat, and there’s release, but that sadness remains. It lingers through the sounds, but maybe there’s no need to be weighed down by it. There’s a sense of being alone and a sense of yearning, and perhaps wanting to bear one’s self to someone else, and feel comfort, and that feeling stretches across eons and passes on and spreads outward as it remains inward, but there still is time to enjoy the time we have.

The music continues and it pulses, and that enjoyment comes back in, and suddenly everything is among it, and it’s not all a loneliness and isolation, and it seems so dreamy too. It seems that no longer is there a party, and there’s moving beyond it, to somewhere else. There’s moving toward a closure as the sounds grow quiet, and things seem to accelerate as they dim, and if there was a fear before, it’s not here now. There’s acceptance as the final vocal echoes out and the song ends.

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Shadows Cross the Field

Posted on June 25, 2024 by Stupidity Hole

I recently went driving with a friend of mine.
Actually, I think I may have said this on a recently-shared photo, but we were just stopping where we thought was interesting and taking photos, and it was a good time.

Anyway, this is one of the places where we stopped. I really like how the shadows came out in this one, and overall I like how this photo feels. Sort of sparse and desolate in a way, even though it is neither. Perhaps bleak? I don’t know.

This is my submission into the three hundred-and-fifth Lens-Artists Photo Challenge. The theme for this one is “Two Rectangles“.

I think this one can be segmented into two distinct rectangles. Possibly three, but there are two specific ones here that constitute the whole image if you are to break it down that way.

The host of the Lens-Artists challenges cycles weekly between the following people:

Tina

Patti

Ann-Christine aka Leya

John Steiner

Sofia Alves

Anne Sandler

Donna

Egídio

Ritva

Egídio is curating this one. Next week Tina is curating.

Donna is stepping away from blogging and naturally, won’t be hosting any of the challenges for the foreseeable future. Hopefully everything is as good as it can be for her.

I recommend participating in the challenges as they provide a fun way to interpret theme. If not participating, then at least you should still check out what others of the Lens-Artists community are submitting.

I hope you enjoy.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1374: A Somewhat Happy Monday

Posted on June 24, 2024 by Stupidity Hole

Got a few minutes, so let’s see how this goes.

I think about the environment a lot, and right now I’m thinking about the environment in a less important way, and that way is how the temperature affects my ability to write, and I wonder as to how much it affects other people’s ability to write. Are they affected to the same degree as I? I could do a survey, but when would enough be enough?

Anyway, I’ve a few things in the pipeline at the moment, and when they start happening, there will be a spreading away. Still need to wrap up quite a few things here though, so there’s probably a year or two to go, or longer. Who knows. In any event, yesterday was a “Transformative” day, and that’s a good thing, I think. Maybe a bad thing, but possibly a good thing.

I’ve found a way to keep going with photography and not have myself steeped in the cynicism and anger and frustration. I’ve found a way to avoid all the cheap talk and false promises, though I’m likely to be thrown into more of those, but we’ll see. Ideas are coming forward; ideas are being developed, and we’ll see where it all goes. Maybe they will go nowhere, and maybe the won’t go nowhere, but instead somewhere, which is different from nowhere but you know…

I don’t know how much I can talk about these ideas as of yet. They’re gonna take time, I think, and they’re gonna take a lot of plotting out, but hopefully they turn into something. I’m not necessarily looking for some sort of success in the financial world, but rather the aim is to get people talking, if that makes sense.

Actually, maybe it’s more to get people appreciating. In any event, a friend and I have an idea for a thing, and we’ll see where it goes. We’ll see what happens.

I think today is going to be a good day. I hope it will be a good day. Maybe it will be terrible, and I’m making some pretty bad assumptions about its quality, and those assumptions will lead to my downfall. It is difficult to tell at this cold hour of the morning, but this week is looking good. This day is looking good. I just need to actually be productive and get to the end of it all, and we’ll see where it goes. We’ll see what happens.

There is going to be a lot of luck involved, naturally, but so long as I can work on all these ideas that came from yesterday, and so long as I stick them out, something will happen.

Until then, it’s a day of work and a say of enjoying work, and getting on with the getting on and all those things, and I’ll do it all and keep going, and that will be that, and… well, yeah. What else is there to say, really?

Anyway, that’s all for now.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 07:28:13

Not too fast or slow. Could’ve been speedier, but I’m happy with the result here.
Of course could also be tightened up a bit, but still. It’s a nice day and that this writing isn’t as good as it could be is fine with me.

Written at work.

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These New Puritans: The Way I Do / This Guy’s in Love With You

Posted on June 23, 2024 by Stupidity Hole

One listen for this one, though I stopped it twice through just to sort of get what I was writing down. Not quite in the spirit of the exercise, but anyway…

I think I spent too much time here trying to describe the song. It’s suggestive and I could’ve drawn a lot from that, but I didn’t draw enough. Still, I think what I wrote is okay.

These New Puritans’ “The Way I Do” (also known as “This Guy’s In Love With You” for specific reasons) is from Field of Reeds.

I hope you enjoy.

—

Keys rock back and forth, and they are gentle. They seem to move in a simple motion, and they have sound stretch out from underneath them. The sound stretches and connects, and from it various scenes as though memory rise. Voices and slight wisps of other instrumentation are there, and it seems to be a fond looking back, or a fond imagining.

Suddenly it all stops, though it smoothly transitions into a series of other sounds that feel small in a way, and textured and congealing. They seem to be a mass and growing whilst remaining small.

The rocking back and forth returns, as do those other sounds and the voices, and now bass gently pushes firmly. Then it changes shape and seems to murmur and lurk, and drag for a moment. It seems to pause and think, perhaps, and brass comes in and calls loud and takes precedence as everything gathers around, and it keeps calling out, perhaps joyfully, and then it and everything else stops, and the song ends.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1373: Another Cold Day

Posted on June 23, 2024 by Stupidity Hole

Another cold day and all that stuff and you get the so on and so forth, blah blah blah. I’m listening to These New Puritans, and it’s not the worst day outside; nor is it the worst inside, but I have to wonder how much I have been defining my life based on whether I am outside or inside, and now I’m wondering if I should be bothering with ideas of defining my life at all.

Life is meant to be lived, isn’t it? That’s what I should be thinking about more, and of course I’m alive and I’m living it, but I mean living it, rather than just being alive.

The gaps are filled with so much nothing and getting along to the next big thing, and all the planning and saving, and then that big thing may never come, and we just keep on going on and struggle and rise to the top and succeed, and then struggle some more as we slide on down, and maybe we don’t get to do what we want to do, and then we wonder if life was wasted, but it wasn’t… was it? Does it really matter, so long as we are still getting on with things?

I think there’s a great deal of a lack of care because “that’s just how it is”, and that sucks. Surely we could do more for each other, and show some more genuine care for our fellow people; especially those that we callously trample upon along the way to victory. Surely we could be more conscious about other people, and do more to help them have a quality of life some people think they don’t deserve. Surely we could make sure that we don’t disregard their struggles and help them have a better quality standard of living.

But maybe we can’t. I don’t know. I’d like to believe that we can but we won’t, because then at least we can work toward turning that kind of thing around and work on making things better, but we have to actually put in the work. A lot of battles don’t end just because we get what we want. They keep on going, and maintaining a base standard requires a collective effort. It requires enough people being willing, but they have to keep going, and you have to get more people involved over time, and everyone has to work for the betterment of everyone. You can’t settle just because you think everything is okay, because the likelihood is it’s just okay in your backyard and your group, and not in others.

Sometimes I wonder if the way things are should be allowed to continue instead of working on change and improvement. Sometimes I wonder if maybe society should be allowed to collapse, because we’re certainly good at treating others poorly. We’re good at being dismissive because we choose to not recognise that our paths are simply one and we got lucky. But that’s just how it is.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 08:17:51

I guess I’m a bit angry today, or despairing. Not sure.

Written at home.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1372: It’s Cold. It’s Winter

Posted on June 22, 2024 by Stupidity Hole

It’s cold. It’s winter. It’s cold and it’s winter. How surprising.

Trying to type this out with my hands and it’s hard as my hands are cold and it’s winter and cold hands and winter when it’s cold don’t make for a good mix… due to the cold and it being winter.

I wonder how long this will last. I wonder how long it will be before they invent heaters for hands that are powered by piss and vinegar. Maybe that would make them too warm, but you could have storage of the excess energy and that way they stay powered for a while, or something.

I think I’ve had an idea.

So anyway, I want it to be slightly less cold, or at least slightly less miserable. It’s not great weather, but I think I should survive. I think I could survive. I think I will survive. I’ll survive. However, I want more blankets, but I don’t want to be sweating, but this is the kind of weather where there is no real balance; it’s just one or the other, and you make do, so I’ve decided to deal with being both warm and cold, but only half of each.

It’s the only way to get the perfect balance.

Still, I’m sitting here and I’m not moving much, and it sucks but it’s also okay. It could be far worse than it could be far better, and somewhere in the middle is where it all why am I choosing to have half of myself be cold?

I can think of better ways to conduct myself, and I can also resolve this pretty quickly and yet I’m not. Instead of doing so, I’m sitting here crapping out a bunch of words. Why am I choosing this path? Why am I choosing to be this lazy? It’s not a good way to be, let me tell you, and let me tell you why:

I could be warmer.

It comes down to that. Warmth is something I can have more of and I’m choosing to not have more of it, and that would be considered not ideal by some. Perhaps it would be considered not ideal by most. I don’t know and I won’t profess to know until I truly know. However, I don’t want to know, you know?

So instead of doing the sensible thing, I’m cold and I remain cold and remaining cold is how I’ll remain, but for only half of me. The other half is still warm and it’s nice and all that, and at least there’s some pleasure in being only partially warm.

Then again, maybe it is an unnecessary burden that I am carrying and in my choosing to carry the burden I’m just hurting myself. Maybe I should just get under the sheets and forget about everything else, but I can’t. There’s still things to do and I need to be responsible and I don’t want to, but I have to, at least right now.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 06:39:41

Not exactly good writing by any measure, but it was fun to write.

Written at home.

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