Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1428: Late Evening

So the other night I was working on something that probably wasn’t all that important, but at the time it seemed important at least, but it wasn’t. But that’s not important. What is important is that I was working on something the other night. That is to say that it was night, but the evening… the evening was late, and I wasn’t sure as to what was going on.

The sun had set and the moon was out, but it remained bright, the sky. There was no darkness. There were no stars, or rather it was too bright to see them. What was going on?

You know, I don’t know many things, and I also don’t understand much about how things work, but I know that it should be dark in the sky when the evening is here. I know it shouldn’t be bright, and so I don’t know what was going on with this one, if I am to be honest. Could’ve been anything at all, could’ve been nothing. But the evening was late. It was running behind, and this was not something that I could stand for.

So naturally I stayed sitting and kept on grumbling about it, as though it was the most important thing in the world. Of course it was not; I should’ve kept working on my thing, but at this point the grumbling was far more important to do than the working on stuff; at least, that’s how it felt to me, so grumble on is what I did, and it was a good time. But there was no sun and the moon was out, and I could see well.

Street lights seemed confused as to what to do in this particular moment in time. They switched on and off at random intervals, and in their uncertainty a seeming panic began to spread. However, the people who were outside didn’t seem to notice.

They didn’t notice when the sun set and cast its colours across the sky, and they didn’t notice when the moon rose in full brightness; in a blue spread. And I kept on grumbling and being annoyed about it, even though there was nothing that I could do.

I needed to work through the evening to get that evening touch on what I was working on, and all that this delay did was postpone the inevitable. All it did was make what I was working on tinged purely with daytime, and that’s not what I wanted, and there was no going back, for I needed to get sleep sooner or later, and perhaps so did a number of other people and creatures out there, and it just wasn’t a fun time.

However, as all comes to pass, the evening did eventually arrive, and not with a gradual approach, but a rather sudden slam against what currently was. It was as though someone hit a light switch; one moment bright and the next dark, but no one seemed to notice the change.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 06:39:29

The idea for this came to me a little over two months ago. Took a while to get around to writing anything on it, but here it is, written, and… yeah. Not great, but a fun bit of silliness. I’m sure I could’ve gone more apocalyptic if I so wanted, but that’s not what happened.

Written at home.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1427: It’s all mind games

So I’m sitting here, waiting to interview an artist and it’s not happening right now. Was meant to start a little over an hour ago, but that’s okay. I can still get things done I can still get on with my life and find out what I need to find out and all of those things. You know, or I know how it is. Anyway.

It’s a fine morning and there will be much productivity, but before all of that I’ll be heading to… the pool. Why the pool? To… swim.

To work on my fitness, and to get healthier which ties into the working on my fitness, and to keep working toward pushing past old injuries so I can do more things again. It’s all work and I gotta keep working on it. It’s not bad work, of course. It’s just work.

Mostly I’m doing it so I can beat Ewe and thus, when we go on our next misadventure, I can out-fitness him, because who doesn’t want a good bit of healthy competition in order to be petty for no good reason whatsoever? But then, he might choose to intentionally under-fitness me in order to fuck with me, and so I need to think fourteen steps ahead.

Sometimes it’s only seven steps ahead, but sometimes you need to double when it comes to Ewe, because it’s all mind games and it can become a bit of a mind trap when it comes to us, because neither of us know when either of us will try to fuck with the other, and so there’s so much planning and all the grace of a rock falling in a most awkward fashion. Really, there is some grace in that too, depending on how you view it all, but… well, you get the idea.

So really, my fitness is all about competition and not looking after myself at all. And the only person I can compete with is the one person I know who procrastinates as much as I do, or perhaps not at all and secretly he’s been fucking with me this whole time and I haven’t realised.

Now that I realise this, I guess I’ll have to put in a plan that spans years and perhaps even decades in order to counter-fuck with Ewe, and then we’ll see who gets the last laugh. Then we’ll see what happens from there.

This all spans from that one joint in the bush. I shouldn’t have done that.

But anyway, it’s gonna be a good day and there will be low stakes shenanigans, and a good bit of listening to the cicadas as they make their sounds and fill the space with the harshly pleasant buzz. Their rhythms play out in moments and mark the snapshots, and are as part of the background as they are the fore, and they guide and shape the surroundings, create an enclosure of time and space, and within that will be my swim, and it’ll be nice.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 07:31:65

Don’t know why I started talking about cicadas.
Actually, I do know, but I don’t know why I started talking about them here.

Written at home.

 

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1426: Struggling to get anything down

Another few days of struggling to get anything down that could be conducive to writing, or at least furthering my writing. Another few days of struggling to go everywhere and nowhere, and sometimes I wonder how the time seems to disappear. How the time seems to seep away.

But you keep on trying and push through al the fatigue and struggle, and hopefully you get there in the end. Hopefully. It just takes time, until it no longer does and it’s all gone. Or you just decide to leave it all behind. Who knows which will be the end result.

But it’s a warm day, or rather it is now but wasn’t earlier, and things are moving and I’m still struggling, but you keep on pushing on and you keep on going and try to get what you need to get done done. If not, then who will? You gotta do your stuff; someone else cannot do yours for you, but they can help. Okay, they can do yours for you, and admittedly sometimes that is better. Sometimes that is better than nothing at all, and sometimes that is a clearly superior option. However, that’s not what I’m meant to be going on about right now.

There’s a lot to say, but I don’t know what I’m trying to say anymore. I just want to get this done and then go rest. Tired. Sleepy. All those things. Too much to do, not enough time to get it all done. You know, the usual stuff. It keeps on going and you keep on trying, but it just keeps on going anyway and everything is tiring, and writing is a struggle but I keep on going. Don’t want to let it get away from me. Not yet, anyway. Once I’ve a bit more done then it’s all good. But not right now.

So there’s some rambling here, and a lot of going nowhere. The whole point of this was made early on, and I’ve said enough on it for now, I think. Maybe it’s the being quite tired talking, but I’ve said enough. I don’t know what else to say and I’m just throwing things at the wall, but writing can be a real struggle and sometimes that’s the best way to treat it…. or maybe not. There are so many ways to think about writing, and maybe I’m struggling right now, but who is to say how it will be tomorrow. In a few days. Could be anything. Could be the easiest thing ever experienced and I’ll just skate along on the words as I lay them down, and it will be the most graceful thing ever experienced, ever.

Then again, maybe it won’t. Maybe I’ll have more difficulty and I’ll be sitting here, trying to force something and having nothing come up, and that will be that, and that’s it, and there’s nothing I can do about it, but I’ll keep on trying anyway, even if it remains a struggle.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 06:27:25

It took a lot of today to get to this point. Not a good bit of writing, but felt necessary, somehow.

Written at home.

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Bell Shaker

Not an instrument you see every day. Nor one you expect to see a moody photo of.

I hope you enjoy.

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Cold by the Cable

I took this photo when I was photographing toe, or rather shortly before they came onto the stage. Thought it’d make for an interesting photo.

This is my submission into Leanne Cole‘s Monochrome Madness for this week.

Participating is pretty straightforward and something I recommend. If you do, then include the tag “monochrome-madness” in your post. If not participating, then at the least check out Leanne’s photography as well as what other people submit.

I hope you enjoy.

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From Rock to Water

Another coastal photo, and one that I’d like to retake. I like the framing, but I think I can do it a good deal better.

Sort of a peaceful photo, even though some strong wave action can be seen. I like that.

This is my submission into the three hundred-and-twenty-seventh Lens-Artists Photo Challenge. The theme for this one is “5 Elements“.

Here we’ve water and earth.

The host of the Lens-Artists challenges cycles weekly between the following people:

Tina

Patti

Ann-Christine aka Leya

John Steiner

Sofia Alves

Anne Sandler

Egídio

Ritva

Sofia is curating this one. The next one is curated by John.

I recommend joining the community and participating in the challenges. They’re pretty straightforward, allow room for interpretation, and provide a good way to think about photography in general. If not, however, then at the very least you should check out what others submit to the challenges.

I hope you enjoy.

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Hitoshi Sakimoto: The Dalmasca Estersand

One listen.

I think I’ve thought about doing this one before and didn’t. Decided to give it a go a few days ago, and now have done it, and I’m not sure what to make of what I wrote. Could be better, could be worse, that kind of thing.

I think I could’ve tapped more into the scenery of where this song is used, but I’m not sure I could’ve pulled that off.

Hitoshi Sakimoto’s (崎元 仁) “The Dalmasca Estersand” (“東ダルマスカ砂漠”) is from the soundtrack for Final Fantasy XII, Final Fantasy XII Original Soundtrack.

I hope you enjoy.

Strings push lightly as horn calls on out, and sounds stir and rise. Sudden shift upward and back to a slight lightness for a moment, as though a pause before the sounds take off and race along.

Adventure is at hand and everything pushes and urges, and keeps it all light and fun at the same time. Keeps it excited. Suddenly the sounds go wide once more, and explore across a landscape, then find themselves racing off once more.

It is, of course, only for a moment before a slight implied pause again, and then the landscape reveals itself in its grandeur, and it’s all massive and wonderful. A slight pause, perhaps of hesitation before exploring once again, and looking further.

Looking and exploring as all the sounds sit alongside each other comfortably, keeping the pace and the shifts and the moods, and the changes keep on coming and moving between the large and the small, but it all remains suitably dramatic. It all continues on and keeps going, and wonder and excitement keep coming forward as the sounds herald and usher in the next moment.

And it continues on as everything fades and the song ends.

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A Person I Once Knew

There was this person I knew in 2014 and 2015. May have met him in 2013. Can’t remember. Anyway, our friendship didn’t take off much until 2014, after I the breakup that got me writing again. Two people in some sort of similar pain and all that, and it was an intense friendship. Lots of laughs, lots of pain sharing.

This isn’t so much about the friendship as it is about its ending, because there were a few things that built up that led to my being done with it.

If I remember the order correctly, the first thing was either in late 2014 or early 2015. Can’t remember. Anyway, Ili and I had plans to go to the beach with some of his friends, and I was getting ready. Had everything, but I couldn’t find my hat. Cannot see it. kept looking, kept looking around, nothing. Nowhere. Was running out of time before I needed to leave, kept looking, no idea where it is. Looked in places it shouldn’t be, or would not be, and lo and behold, not in those locations.

At that point I was spiraling. For a good while at that point I’d felt pretty overwhelmed and tense and on edge, and like I was barely holding it together.

Wait.

I think a good chunk of those feelings had faded and I was doing somewhat okay at the time, but I’d had panic attacks prior so I knew well enough what they were and, even though it took some time to realise (I think; I may have been a few minutes in), I was having one then.

I messaged Ili, told him I couldn’t make it. Told him roughly what was going on and he started trying to pressure me to come along. In a friendly way, of course. I told him I couldn’t, and I’m pretty sure I apologised, and he said he was disappointed in me, or words to that effect. He tried to keep it light after though, but it wasn’t great.

It was really fucked up, because I was staring at a ceiling whilst on futon frame slats for somewhere around two hours, all because I couldn’t find my hat. Obviously a buildup of stuff that culminated to a release at that time, but it was the being unable to find my hat that set it off, and here was this friend who decided the best course of action was to express disappointment.

I did find the hat. Was somewhere obvious, but by that point it was too late for me to get up and go. Didn’t feel great about it all after either.

The next thing was formed from Ili being friends with my ex. I can’t remember if I had an issue with him being friends with her or not, but what happened is they ran into each other at some point, talked a little, then he asked if it was cool if they were friends. I think I said it was fine, because even though it wasn’t my choice and I can’t remember how I felt about it, I know I didn’t think it good or healthy to say no. If they got along, then they got along.

When Ili was asking this, he also asked if I wanted him to find out what was going on in my ex’s life, what she thought of me, those kinds of things. I said no. There was a period where my ex and I got back together and it didn’t work out, and this stuff happened after that, when we were trying just being friends which also didn’t work out. But during the friendship period was when Ili asked, and I said no. Yeah, I did want to know, but it wasn’t my business and I didn’t feel it right for me to know unless my ex told me. Beyond that, I already was conflicted with my feelings and I didn’t want to be dragging myself into it further.

At one point Ili gave me details about how my ex felt about me when I was asking about a thing he had done, and I’m guessing my wording wasn’t clear because I didn’t want to know, and then I did, and it was all normal stuff but it just hurt. Somewhere around that time, Ili had prompted me about finding out stuff again (likely before this), and I said that, yeah, I did want to know but it wasn’t my place. He then went off at me, in this calm, yet also what I felt was a shitty way, and told me that her life was none of my business. Which I knew.

Eventually this led to the third thing which was about lying. I won’t get into the details, but I’m not a fan of it for a number of reasons. Ili didn’t see issues with it. Told me I was naive for not wanting to be lied to. This eventually continued as an argument in person and I should’ve calmed down a bit, and I didn’t. This eventually led to Ili having the final word on it, but what he believed was beneath him was not something I felt was, and by that point the damage was done.

I spoke to him regularly after that for a while, but over the rest of 2015 I started withdrawing from the friendship and eventually it petered out.

I wasn’t perfect in the friendship. I’ll happily admit that. I was pretty fucked up at the time, and I can be intense enough on a calm day. At the end of it, however, I didn’t go off at him and express disappointment.

But, you know, at the time Ili mattered and in a way he still does because he was important to me back then. Like a good few people, he helped me get through a rough time, and even though it ended, I’m still grateful for his being there.

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Hitoshi Sakimoto: Eruyt Village

One listen.

Heard this song for the first time in a while a few days ago. Onto the list of things I wanted to write about very soon after. Threw myself in and I think I got a little stuck, but overall what I wrote works fine enough. Could be better; could be much better, actually, as what I wrote relies a bit on knowing the visuals of the area in which the song plays, I think.

Hitoshi Sakimoto’s (崎元 仁) “Eruyt Village” (“エルトの里”) is from the soundtrack for Final Fantasy XII, Final Fantasy XII Original Soundtrack.

I hope you enjoy.

A ring out as strings rise and fall in a dry space. Woodwind floats on in, and it is a peaceful space, though perhaps at the edges tension lurks. It’s peaceful and dry, but there’s sadness, though maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s focus.

The sounds rise and the woodwind flutters upon a still breeze, dancing. It pulls away and strings come forward and pull back, and they stir with a relentless calm. They give way to greater percussion, playing out a steady beat that echoes lightly, and that too disappears and the strings return, falling and rising, and stirring once more, and the percussion returns and plays out a few more moments before it all cycles back to the start.

And that dryness returns, and the space flows upon the woodwind as it flutters and floats, and some sadness comes in, but from whose perspective is the sadness coming from? It might not be there at all from the inside, and just an outside thing.

Sounds flow along, steady and moods and words float on by, and upon it all action seems to stir, or at least direction before it is time to move on, and the sounds fade out and the song ends.

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Nobuo Uematsu: Opening Theme

One listen.

Wanted to write about this song for a few days and had concerns that I already had, but apparently I hadn’t, unless I did, in which case I can’t find what I wrote, so… yeah.

I think I did well here, though there are parts that I’d definitely tighten and expand upon here and there if I were to edit. I think I covered the song well enough. Part of that is that I had some ideas going in, though I didn’t quite use them as I figured I may have, and also due to the song sort of drifting. Maybe also due to having enough sleep or something. Don’t know.

Nobuo Uematsu’s (植松 伸夫) “Opening Theme” (“オープニング”) is from Final Fantasy V Original Sound Version, the soundtrack for Final Fantasy V.

A stirring dawn on what are meant to be strings and some sort of choral voice – I think, and soon woodwind, and there’s something lightly melancholic here. It’s a waking up, and it’s gentle, and perhaps pointing toward an optimism, but within it is that melancholy, and within that builds something more tangible.

Sadness and departures, and ill portent. Concern, and with the strike of keys it becomes overtly heavy. Menacing, dread, and it pushes on down. It presses on down, and it keeps the pressure on with ease. Something is changing and the sounds keep their space here, but they still engulf all.

Strings stir once more as the menace expands and presses down more to reveal some sort of disaster. But it soon stops, and the stirring of the dawn once more. Lower, more gentle than before, but also more optimistic. There is hope in a journey ahead, and there is change, but that melancholy remains. Still, it settles, and it is part of what will come, and even though the heaviness remains, it doesn’t take over, and the future remains open as the song ends.

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