Sandstone Waves

A photo of sandstone, focusing on the pattern formed by erosion.
It had been a while since I was in this spot, and I don’t remember the rocks being eroded in this manner. But it has been a while.

This particular surface looks like waves to me. All I have to say about that. Makes one think about the various processes that affect this rock.

I included the colour one just to give a better idea of how the mineral in the sandstone appears. It felt odd to not include it and I think it helps to better appreciate the monochrome version.

This is my submission into Leanne Cole‘s “Monochrome Madness” for this week. This one is hosted by Sarah of Travel with Me, and the theme is “Textures“.

Participating is pretty straightforward and something I recommend. If you do, then include the tag “monochrome-madness” in your post. If not participating, then at the least check out Leanne’s photography as well as what other people submit.

I hope you enjoy.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1351: More Ranting

So I feel like I may be opening a can of worms here, but I always find it interesting that when I’m expressing something dire here, such as my concerns about being homeless soon, or how we need to start taking better care of the environment, if often gets overlooked more than it doesn’t. I know it’s not what people want to see but I cannot be the silly person all the time.

I also know I shouldn’t expect people to engage with anything I do, but I mean, if you’ve been willing to visit for years on end and derive some sort of pleasure or engagement from what I write and share…

Look, I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m thankful for having an audience, but it just vexes me that people tend to disappear when the going gets tough. I can’t afford not being able to pay rent and I can’t afford a lot of things. I can’t afford to go see the family I talk to. I’m glad I’ve my partner in my life, but we’re both sinking at the moment because I’m not earning enough, and whilst she earns a good amount it’s not enough to support two people, and it would be nice for things to change.

Where am I going with this? Nowhere. I just want to go back to writing silly stuff and sharing things and all that, but it’s difficult to do so when there’s a great deal of uncertainty mixed with a great deal of “this is the likely outcome”, and it sucks. It’s not easy and it’s pressing down, and I have other stuff to deal with that could involve suing an organisation and it’s just continuous, and it would be nice to have a bit of a break for once. It would be nice to actually be allowed to survive and have some sort of sense of comfort in my life instead of being poor, remaining poor and quite possibly being homeless soon, because I’m done.

I’m done with the constant job hunting and no success, and I’m done with being told how good I am with my photo work and people who can get me work dipping. This isn’t anything new, but I’m just done with the help not being there when the people who can get me into paid work tell me how good I am and how I deserve better disappear. It’s frustrating.

Well, I guess I know what I am saying and I’m not saying much of anything that I haven’t before, but I’m over it and things keep getting worse and I try to work hard and keep throwing myself at things and little, if anything changes other than things get worse, and hey, that’s life, because no one is owed success or financial stability, it seems. That’s a harsh thing to say, but maybe it’s true. I don’t know. I don’t want to think it’s true. I would much rather be more optimistic.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 11:05:39

Rather slow. Not great writing either.
Feels like a self-pity party, but it’s what is coming forward.

Written at home.

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Vennart: Forgiveness & The Grain

I started this some time last month. Wrote out what would work as a draft, then sat on it until today. I thought what I wrote would work, but… I don’t know. I don’t think I was quite happy with it. At the very least I wanted to once more try and get away from how I usually write reviews.

I thought about how I wanted to approach this, and thought about whether putting my experience would work or not. Maybe I had the idea prior – I know at least one was included in my initial draft – but at some point yesterday I decided to include the reactions to the music of those whom I’d played some of the album’s music to, as I felt that in this instance it would say more.

I scrapped most of what I wrote and did some rewriting, and altogether I spent about forty-five to ninety minutes today working on the below. It’s not great by any measure, but it’s an improvement over what I had before.

Most of my interview and review work now appears on Culture Eater.
My colleague and I set up a Patreon to further develop Culture Eater as a source of good quality arts coverage from both ourselves and our contributors.

We’re looking at what we can give to supporters as we don’t want to set up a one way relationship, so suggestions are welcome. Podcast Eater is one of the things we’ve got going, and although it has been silent for a year, that should change in the coming weeks.

Please consider supporting, or at least sharing the Patreon page with others. Please also check out what our wonderful contributors are contributing.

I hope you enjoy.

Forgiveness & The Grain ends with “Seventy Six”, this monolithic slab of rock. Mike Vennart’s vocals call out across the sound landscape – not a soundscape, but a sound landscape – and they move outward and through everything from a singular position. Among all the sound; among all the bright, sludgy grandness there’s something very “central”. The song feels very much about Mike himself, and it’s a climactic ending to an emotional experience. However, it remains grounded, and that central thing seems to reach out.

Opener “Chapter X…” is (comparatively) minimal. It keeps the instrumentation drawn back and instead lets a sense of the theatrical congeal with a sense of tension. The vocals seem to hover alongside the instrumentation, letting forward imagery that drifts in unison far more than it initially seems.

All the songs are within an orbit of each other. Some sit closer to each other than others, but overall they feel as though from the same cloth. They flow well enough, and seem like they explore the dichotomy between the implication of sound and the implication of meaning…

I’ve been trying to think of what I can say about Vennart’s Forgiveness & The Grain for a while. When I first heard it, I had a rather strong and emotional reaction. I feel that getting into that wouldn’t say enough. At the same time, wouldn’t just covering my experience suffice? I don’t know, so instead I’ll touch on what happened when two other people heard songs from the album.

Recently I helped someone with approaching writing about music. For an exercise in describing music as it plays, I had them listen to “Fractal”.  They started off describing the song which was fine and expected. As the song went on it became quite clear that they were emotionally resonating with it. At one point they said something along the lines of “I feel like I’d be crying if I wasn’t doing this with someone”. They’d not heard anything involving Mike Vennart before.

Last week I went hiking with one of my friends. I included some of Forgiveness & The Grain on the driving playlist as I’d been wanting them to listen to the album. They weren’t too familiar with Mike’s work under his name and, as far as I’m aware, it’s not stuff they’d usually listen to. After hearing those songs we talked about how they felt. Then my friend sought out the album to listen to it later.

I don’t want to try to speak for how Mike feels about his music. I’ve read and heard him say stuff, but I can’t fully know. However, that two people who had little to no knowledge of his music – music that’s more outside their listening choices than it is in – to have strong resonance with hearing a small amount speaks volumes to me. It says a lot about Mike’s ability as an artist to reach out and talk to people.

Briefly touching on a few more songs, “Casino” sounds light and airy, and has this sort of laid-back feel. “The Japanese No” follows after and some of its guitar work sounds dejected. The two sound far away from each other, but they sit comfortably, both together and with the rest of the album. Forgiveness & The Grain is heavy; not all songs sound like “3 Syllables”, “Luminous Target” and “Seventy Six”, but overall it’s an emotionally weighty experience. But it doesn’t feel like it’s beating you over the head; It’s affecting without being draining. It’s an album that’s personal in nature, but it’s universal.

Forgiveness & The Grain is available here.

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Yasunori Mitsuda: Prelude to a Dream

Three listens.

This bit of music feels quite like the heralding of the dawn to me, though I don’t think I did well to capture that. I’m not sure what I captured here. What I wrote feels a bit all over the place.

Yasunori Mitsuda’s (光田 康典) “Prelude to a Dream” (“夢のはじまり”) is from Chrono Cross Original Soundtrack, the soundtrack for Chrono Cross.

I hope you enjoy.

Low, and perhaps welcoming, and woodwind comes on and flutters at the rising dawn. Murmurings lead to what feels like a thrust upward, and it’s a brief glimmer in the smallness and the wonder of it all. The woodwind takes off, if only briefly before lowering to where it previously was.

Quickly the sounds settle and that woodwind continues its fluttering, and sounds murmur once more, but it’s one that leads to the sounds stopping at the song’s end.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1350: Ran out of Money

So yesterday I ran out of money. Not much to say there; not like people run out of money all the time, really. Still have my job, but now cannot afford to pay rent and quite possibly not able to pay bills either. Will have to see.

Four years of trying to get a better job and now on my fourth or fifth iteration of my resume since 2020. I wanted this year to be a counter to last  and already it has been a more intense slog, and I have to wonder – as I often do – how much longer can I keep going?

Maybe this just reads as more drama, but the longer I go without better work, or even getting genuine paid offers for my photo work the harder it is, and at this point it’s now a matter of working out what I can sell to stay above water because it’s either that or no roof.

This is a fucked situation. I don’t know how people are able to get work at the moment. I don’t know how many jobs I need to throw myself at before I get an interview and then get past the interview stage. I don’t know how much more well-wishing I can tolerate, especially from those who are in a position of stability, and those who are able to help, because well-wishing does not help in the slightest. Money does, and a constant cycle of well-wishing and being told how good I am has not done much to put me in a better financial position.

It sucks and I don’t want to be complaining about this, but the only thing I can do is keep on trying and hope something changes soon, but without money there’s not much of anything I can do. I’m not earning enough to survive and I’m dealing with a constant flow of job rejections, and if this doesn’t reverse before the month’s end, then it’s not going to be good.

Of course my ability to stay afloat also depends on how quickly things sell. We’ll see.

I don’t want to be offloading this first thing in the morning. There are other things that I want to be doing and I need to keep on applying for jobs. I don’t want to be going into another call centre, even if it is better money as I don’t have the mental capacity to keep doing call centre work. It’s already damaging me a fair bit at this point, but if I have to I have to, but it won’t be helpful. It’s just going to cause more damage.

So… yeah. I’d rather write something happy, but now that I’m operating with no money and trying to keep a roof over my head, things are bad and I need something to change within the next few weeks. Otherwise it’s just going to get worse.

So… that’s what I have to say this morning. It’s a downer, but this is what I’m dealing with.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 09:40:91

Part of me feels a bit awful for sharing this, but this is what is happening and, along with everything else, it’s consuming my time in a rather heavy manner.

Written at home.

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Sunset From a Car

This was taken whilst in Bathurst. I was being driven to a good sunset spot. Decided to take a few photos from the car, such as this one. Not sure if it looks like it was from a car, but it captures how the sunset looked at that particular moment quite well.

I hope you enjoy.

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A Baguette on the Way

I’m not going to talk about the entirety of the drive home from Bathurst yesterday as most of it was pretty standard stuff. I’m fortunate enough to be able to handle long distance driving quite well, though some would argue the distance between Bathurst and Sydney is not that long, but that wouldn’t be my only example, but I digress. For the most part it was a pretty straightforward drive. Some people going well under the speed limit, then speeding up when overtaking lanes were available, then slowing down when those lanes ended, and some people speeding pointlessly, but it was an easy and enjoyable drive.

On the way back home I’d planned to stop off at Black Cockatoo Bakery in Lawson to buy two baguettes and some coffee. Normally I’d stop at my favourite bakery in The Blue Mountains but it’s closed on Sundays and Mondays, and I like the baguettes at Black Cockatoo. I left Bathurst at around eleven a.m. as, despite wanting to stay a bit longer, I’d have to deal with a lot of traffic from people leaving The Blue Mountains and returning to Sydney if I left Bathurst later.

When I reached The Blue Mountains I stopped at Mount York to take some photos and give myself a slight break. I was operating on a low amount of sleep and I like the view from there. I also had until four to get to Black Cockatoo. Stuffed around there a bit, decided to look up how long it would take for me to get to the bakery. About forty minutes. Easy. Stuffed around a bit more, decided to make sure the bakery closed at four. It was closing at two.

I reached Mount York around twenty past twelve. When I hopped into the car and drove off it was almost one.

Thankfully the trip to Black Cockatoo was pretty easy. There was some traffic around Blackheath, but I was able to get to the bakery with twenty minutes to spare.

I bought two baguettes but no coffee as they’d already cleaned the machine. Put the baguettes in the car, bought coffee from somewhere else. Hopped in the car, did some brief playlist prep and drove off. Stopped at the traffic lights at The Great Western Highway, started the playlist at The Young Gods’ “Kissing the Sun”, and, once the lights changed got on the highway just before the song’s main part kicked in.

The baguettes were in a paper bag and I wanted to eat one during the rest of the drive. I didn’t want to take one out of the bag because I didn’t want to leave crumbs in the car, so I held both in the bag in one hand and started eating one of them, and it was not a graceful moment.

If this writing seems matter of fact, it’s because it is, and it also describes how I was eating. I was driving down The Great Western Highway holding two baguettes whilst eating one of them like it was the most standard thing in the world, and I was blasting “Kissing the Sun” with the car windows down because it was hot. A couple of times I put the baguettes down so I could drink my coffee, but otherwise I was eating, and quite quickly too.

So I’m driving and blasting music and eating, and I was going the speed limit and still going faster than everyone else. It wasn’t long before I reached a ute driver who was going a bit under the speed limit. It was somewhere around this point where the baguette bag tore at the bottom and all this flour stuff and breadcrumbs spilled onto me and my seat, and it was annoying but I kept driving because I wanted to get home. Anyway, I went to overtake the ute driver and not long after I started, they started speeding up.

I don’t know how it is in other places, but something I’ve noticed is that a few drivers don’t like being overtaken, and especially don’t like being overtaken by a provisional licence driver, and as such will tend to speed up and prevent lane reentry which, as far as my understanding goes, is illegal. I consider it a shitty move, but what am I gonna do?

So I was overtaking this driver whilst eating one of the baguettes I was holding whilst blasting music and they started speeding up, and shortly after we were in rough alignment the driver slowed right down. There was no nearby turn-off, and so I had to wonder if they looked into the car and saw me holding two baguettes and almost inhaling one of them whilst covered in baguette flour and crumbs whilst blasting music that isn’t considered “traditional” in the stereotypical Australian public cultural conscious (At this point the playlist somewhere between The Living End’s “Universe” and Cave In’s “Reckoning”; both of which are more traditionally rock than “Kissing the Sun”, but still not quite Australian traditional) and decided to let me get far away from them. As said before, my eating wasn’t a graceful moment. That said, I didn’t care if it was or was not; I don’t drive to look dignified and I was quite hungry.

Anyway, I finished the baguette in around fifteen minutes. It was quite delicious.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1349: Just some rambling

Just looked at how many of my posts here have been photos over the last week and that doesn’t really mean anything, so I’m just gonna continue on.

So I’m quite tired. Bad sleep last night and a lot of things to do today, and that’s all okay, as far as I’m concerned. I’m awake and I have experiences to share; well, one in particular, but you know. Experiences.

There will be sharing throughout the day as I interweave a few things around other things and create a tapestry of crap, and then I’ll get on with other things. Cannot afford to be lazy today. Can only afford to be driven and so being driven is what I will do. Or be.

Sometimes time away from things is not enough, and sometimes we proclaim there isn’t enough time, and likely there’s a strong overlap. This weekend was most definitely not enough time. It was quite needed, but more time was needed. Time away from everything. Time away from Sydney, and time away from the pressure I am under. A good few more days would’ve helped, but even then, it would not have been enough.

I can’t help but wonder if any amount of time away from everything would’ve been enough, because I have to deal with what I am under one way or the other. A bit of breathing space helped, but it’s back to it all I have to go.

Maybe sometimes something feels the right length and there is no desire to have more time, and maybe sometimes things spill over and it feels too long and drags the experience down, but I can say that seeing the sunset and sunrise from a place I usually don’t was quite nice. Swimming in a river for the first time in many, many years was nice. Driving around away from the city was nice. Being with friends was nice. It was needed. Not enough time, but I think I’d rather not enough time rather than too much time. Don’t want to overstay my welcome, and don’t want to leave feeling shitty about trying to relax.

I don’t really know what I’m trying to say with all of this. I’m talking about personal experience and that’s nice and all, and it is nice. I guess I just want a longer reprieve and I want to postpone the inevitable indefinitely, but that won’t happen. I can’t get through something if I keep putting it off, and so today is going to be a busy day. It’s not going to be a fun day, though there certainly will be fun. It will just be one where I get stuff done and then get on with whatever comes next. Lot of job hunting and all that stuff. Fun times and so on and so forth, and maybe I’ll come out of it all feeling okay, but I’ll see. Just have to get through it all first and then take stock, and then keep going.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 06:43:58

Sort of medium, this one is. Not bad; not good. Bit stretched out.

Written at home.

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Lightly Flowing Hair

Over the weekend I hung out with my two best friends at their place in Bathurst. It was a much-needed break away from all the stress and pressure I’m dealing with at the moment.

On the drive home today, when I stopped to rest I took this photo. It turned out better than I anticipated so I worked on it a bit. Mostly pushed shadows and contrast, and below is the result.

I’ve been meaning to get a photo of my hair being blown around in the wind before I shave my head for a while now. The wind in this location was not as strong as I wanted, but it was strong enough. There’s a sense of motion, but my hair still feels still, I think. Almost looks like some of it is grown as though branches.

I’ll probably take something similar on another day, but next time I’m definitely using the tripod. I balanced the camera on a rock and, whilst the photo works, I think using the tripod would’ve helped get something better. Oh well.

This is my submission into the two hundred-and-eighty-ninth Lens-Artists Photo Challenge. The theme for this one is “Tools of Photo Composition“.

You could argue composition / framing here, but my main focus was ensuring I was in focus. This is more about light and shape / form, I think.

The host of the Lens-Artists challenges cycles weekly between the following people:

Tina

Patti

Ann-Christine aka Leya

John Steiner

Sofia Alves

Anne Sandler

Donna

Egídio

Ritva

John is curating this one. Next week Leya is curating.

I recommend participating in the challenges as they provide a fun way to interpret theme. If not participating, then at least you should still check out what others of the Lens-Artists community are submitting.

I hope you enjoy.

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Wavering Columns

A photo I’ve been meaning to share for a while, but haven’t.
Not much to say; just like the sense of continuation of the bridge columns.

I hope you enjoy.

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