Alright, so today is going to be a writing of something that perhaps I’ve covered in the past, but still needs to be said, or something. I don’t actually know if it does need to be said, but saying it is the thing that today will happen.
Self-doubt is a horrible thing that can be crippling, but it can also be a good thing if used as motivation to see things through. Using it as motivation can be difficult, but it can be done.
Anyway, that’s all I had to say, really, though perhaps I should keep on going at this point as I’ve already come so far.
The last few weeks I’ve slowed down in doing things by quite a bit more than I thought I would. The plan was to pick up the pace as I now have all this free time so I need to make the most of it. However, unsurprisingly I’ve become more and more lazy about getting anything done. It happens.
I think the main issue is (other than general procrastination, of course) that I often doubt my ability to write and make stuff, which isn’t uncommon by a long stretch. Right now I’m doing my best to push through it as everything is building up.
Feeling burned out on things doesn’t help but… well, yeah. I need to push past the self-doubt and keep on going forward.
Right now what I’m trying to do is challenge what I think about my ability to get things done. See if the notions hold up and all that. Not so much trying to be confident as confidence is something that needs to be built from the ground up and all that jazz, but just see if I can see if what I’m feeling is correct or not, which is a weird thing to think as I know that it’s not correct (well, certain parts of it anyway). I know that I can push past it, but of course the knowing doesn’t override the feeling most of the time and so that is why I need to challenge the challenge and try and put it somewhere in the past; for a while, at least.
It’s also that it ultimately doesn’t matter if I’m crap at doing something or not so long as I’m enjoying what I’m doing and being productive about it. I want to be productive again. I miss it terribly but of course the only way I can do that is by working on it and pushing past all the crap that I’m telling myself. It’s not going to magically happen, so right now it really is time to apply a lot of effort and grease of the elbow and get to it and start doing the things.
Well, that’s all I have to say about the subject at hand. For some it is the same and for some it is different, but for all it is something that, with time, can be worked past.
The time it took to write five-hundred words: 08:01:38
More personal stuff that I’ll probably not think about fondly some time down the track.
Written at home.