One Thousand Word Challenge 100: Desire Driving

I’m not quite sure as to why I am doing this right now. I could do it later and perhaps it would be better to do later rather than now. However, now is the time in which I have chosen to keep on writing and so I am going to do that.

Once more I am aiming for under nine minutes. However, I am going to cut myself a little slack today as it is not the driving force. No, right now the driving force is the desire to write. I have a strong urge to write and write and then, when I get tired of writing, getting out of the feeling tired by writing some more. I don’t know as to why I am feeling this right now, but it is indeed what I am feeling and so I am choosing the entertain that feeling by letting whatever this is come out and spread forth and create something of which I have created many a time before, but this time with the desire of the desire to write, which, to be fair, is not that different from usual.

However, perhaps my desire to write is a little bit stronger at the moment, which I guess is a good thing as it is driving me into the act of writing more rather than less, though I should try and pace myself at some point so that I don’t burn out as the last thing that I want to do is burn out as then… well, I already have, so I guess I don’t want to burn 0ut more. Still, at the moment things feel okay so I’m just going to keep on going and hope for the best. See what comes forward and all of that other stuff.

Now that I’ve said that, I realise that I’ve sort of hit a wall. I can feel the fatigue that I have brought upon myself creping up and preparing to strike which is something I’d hoped to avoid. However, it appears as though I cannot and so this is now something of which I need to tackle so as to be able to keep on going on my merry way and get stuff done. It is a day of work and I am working to write this but at the moment as I have a little bit of time. Whether I actually get this done or not is another story, but what I am doing at the present moment is pretending that I have something to write about, though my mind feels as though perhaps it does need a rest, so maybe I should stop this sooner rather than later so I can get that rest in. However, I probably won’t and find a way to push on through and instead devolve into something circular.

On that circular thing that is the writing that I likely will do, I will try and run around to the other side but find that instead of getting to the other side I’m in place. There will be no moving from where I am situated and that is a thing that I’ll need to grapple with in some manner despite not wanting to grapple with it in the slightest. Maybe this isn’t actually much of a problem, but at the moment it does feel like it is a bigger problem than I would like for it to be as it means that I’m just doing the same thing over and over and I’d rather not. However, when I go the other way, I still remain in place and so I guess I’m a little bit stuck.

I should just stop the circle from spinning and then walk away from it and take it all easy for the rest of the day. That would be a thing to do and it would be something that I would be able t0o do sooner rather than later, assuming that there are things coming later, or something. However, instead of doing all of that I’m just gonna sit on the edge and watch the ocean pass on by and then do other things. I’ll look out at the beautiful view and hope for the best as the sunset approaches. Maybe some gulls or other oceanic birds will fly on by and there will be a light breeze and the whole thing will look scenic and romantic.

Time will pass on by but it will all seem so still and serene in a sense. I will be heavily held within the moment and perhaps I will be increasingly drawn into it as I look inward and try to relate to the scene in a way that implies something human about it as I connect to it as I look more and more inward and try to encapsulate and contextualise it, but really there’s nothing human about it other than perhaps a few boats and some development, but that does not mean that I can’t connect to it; it just means that it’s not all that I want it to be and represent in that particular moment, though at the same time it is in a way.

However, the day will pass and then I will have to go and do some other things and therefore, once the sunset is almost about to end and the colours are rather strong I will have to pry myself away and walk on off and go somewhere else, for the night will still allow a beautiful view and some inward thinking but there is another time and place for that. There’s some celebration that needs to be had, even if the celebration is on the small scale.

Well, technically there is no celebration required at all, but the year is long in the tooth. However, there will be no celebration other than on a rather small and perhaps quiet scale as, whilst an energetic celebration is fine, tonight I just want to take it easy.

The time it took to write one thousand words: 11:08:03

A bit slower than I had hoped but I’m okay with the speed.

I think this started becoming something toward the end. Not anything amazing, but still something.

Written at home.

About Stupidity Hole

I'm some guy that does stuff. Hoping to one day fill the internet with enough insane ramblings to impress a cannibal rat ship. I do more than I probably should. I have a page called MS Paint Masterpieces that you may be interested in checking out. I also co-run Culture Eater, an online zine for covering the arts among other things. We're on Patreon!
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