Time keeps on ticking away and I sit here staring off into space trying to work out whether the stars make the ocean or the ocean makes the stars. This is of course a reference to space which often is referred to as an ocean, in which I guess it is. I can’t argue against it not being an ocean in a metaphorical sense as I am not a space biologist and so would have no real idea of whether it is or not in the metaphorical sense. Perhaps in the literal sense it is also an ocean, but that is not something that I am much interested in getting into. Need to get into other things at the moment and so I will not pay much attention to that idea.
Whatever it is that comes next, however, I hope that it does involve the exploration of something that leads to curious endeavours in the pursuit of learning and growing and the learning of growing in order to grow the learning through growing learning.
Anyway, I think that that is where the line is drawn. I know that is is drawn somewhere int here. Where exactly is a surprise and must be discovered. This is in no way an attempt to cover for my writing absolute rubbish, but in actuality the reality of whatever this thing is, so therefore you need to do the discovering and work it all out in the way that you need to do so in order to be able to find the answers that you seek, which in this instance is knowing precisely where the line is drawn so that you can know when you are crossing it, assuming you even do decide to cross it.
There is every chance that you don’t and therefore play by whatever the rules are, but perhaps you believe that the rules are meant to be broken rather than pushed outward or something, in which case you may merrily skip over the line and make it your not-master. I can’t think of the word required to replace that phrasing at the moment.
Perhaps you do not care and merely decide to walk away, in which case I must admit is a valid decision despite my not wanting it to be as if I allow it to be a valid decision, which I will, it means that I’ve allowed a third option that does not control for what I want controlled. You could just walk away from all of this and it would be fine. Who cares about some arbitrary and meaningless line that doesn’t make sense as the context is not understood?
You could also just walk through the whole thing and not care about it also and that would also be equally valid. Of course I also want to disallow this, but unfortunately I will not as there need to be options at the present moment, even if those are options of which I do not want to allow. What if I don’t allow them and then everything gains more bias than I had initially hoped? This would be more of an issue than I would like to admit on top of the things that I already don’t want to admit and so all of this is more and more becoming decisions made begrudgingly and that was something that I wanted to avoid, but seeing as I am unable to, I guess then that whatever this is should proceed as it is. Despite my lazy resistance, I should allow it to proceed as planned. However, perhaps I will now be the one who walks away.
You see, what I really want to do is stare off into space and let the day pass on by, but seeing as I am currently unable to do just that due to being bound by my own sense of not wanting to waste the day, I need to sit through these things and then get them out of the way, thus taking away my desire for one thing only to have it filled by the desire to do another thing and all it ends up doing is chaining together and I’m stuck on this rolling thing that I cannot get off of until I decide that I can get off off it, therefore forcing my hand into a position where I am doing the thing that I am doing at the present moment and therefore not making any sense as I don’t know where any of this is going, but perhaps there is a thread within all of its glorious crud that can be followed, and perhaps following that thread will lead to an exit and therefore I don’t need to keep on writing gibberish until I decide that it is time for me to keep on writing gibberish.
At the moment I can tell; you that I want to write something more constructive, but perhaps that is something that must wait for another day as at the moment I am rather tired due to the lack of sleep that I regularly obtain, so this is perhaps the best I can come up with at the moment. At the same time I feel as though I can do much better about this, but perhaps now is not the time. Perhaps in a few hours it will be a better time for me to write and do the “creation” thing and then get on with doing some other things so as to be able to fulfill the day ahead and make sure that I keep it filled with doing things that lead to some other things and so on and so forth.
But truthfully, despite being tired I also need to go to the bathroom and should probably take care of that before I continue so that I can have a little more focus on what I’m doing as the need to use the bathroom is more of a distraction than I’d like.
The time it took to write one thousand words: 10:36:81
I’m happy with the writing speed, but this is a real mess.
I can see a few places where this may have become something interesting to write but I kept on veering away for some reason.
Written at home.