Okay, so I will readily admit that there are far, far worse things out there that I could be experiencing right now, but do any of you know as to how annoying a muscle twitch in the thumb region is?
I do, as it is something that I’ve had to deal with over the past few days and it feels like this twitch’s reign of terror is going to continue today.
This is something that I am not looking forward to. Other than the inspiration for what is about to come, it is something that I don’t need in my life. There are other things out there that I consider to be far, far more important to me getting things done and the spasming of a muscle is not something I find helpful. It seems prohibitive and inhibitive.
Maybe it’s not a muscle but a nerve, or a vein, or something. I don’t know much about human anatomy however, so all I can do is speculate. Of course I could look up information and try and learn something here, but right now I don’t feel like learning about this as that gets in the way of writing and what I need to do is go full steam ahead and try and get my thoughts down now. I can then look things up later and then find them interesting and then refuse to go back and edit this to reflect such knowledge gained, assuming that my initial assumption is inaccurate, of course.
So anyway, this twitch is annoying. It is getting in the way of things and as it is getting in the way of things I don’t want it here. Sure, it was novel at first but now it is annoying. Some might even say frustrating. It torments and terrorises the lands and plagues the hearts of the masses, and tears at my sense of being able to get things done in a timely fashion and that is something that I just cannot stand for. There are other things that I can stand for, but when I am trying to get thoughts and words written down and trying to express those thoughts in a way that conveys the clarity needed to get such thoughts out. A twitching in the thumb region clouds thoughts and creates distractions. It gets in the way oaf achieving anything that could be considered a success of some sort and so I need it gone. I need it out of my life for a good long while and being out of my life is not what it is doing right now. It hangs over me like a dark apparition of some sort of evil, and I want it to get out of the way as it’s blocking the light with its darkness.
I want this thing gone and I know not how to get rid of it. Maybe this is something of which I need to prepare for. I need to arm myself with some sort of assortment of various forms of things that could be considered as weapons to combat such a terrible affliction that I have to deal with at the present moment.
Maybe I should not try and combat this and instead I should just try and learn to live with it. Maybe I can supersede the distraction with extreme focus after enough time spent accepting it as a thing that now exists in my life. Maybe I can do that, but then again, is that even possible? I don’t know. I don’t know anymore.
Oh, woe has befallen my existence and now my tormentor exists in a fashion that I ever thought possible. I didn’t think that it would ever come to this, but it has and now I must bear the weight of responsibility borne from consequence, though what it was that created this situation, I have no idea. I don’t think I will ever know and so I can only go on in a thick miasma of unknowing, wandering and stumbling blindly through the world, ever lost and never present to that which I need to be, and as such I don’t think I will ever recover.
There is always hope, but it rapidly diminishes and I need to accept my fate of having to wear this spasm for however long it decides to keep on tormenting me. Maybe it will be for a period known as an eternity, but it certainly feels like one at this stage.
I know not how to escape, or where I can go from here. All I know is that I am being consumed by the distraction and it is causing me to make errors in ways I never thought possible. I don’t know if this will ever end and I don’t know how it will end, but I know I certainly want it to end. I want this twitching to be gone and to never bother me ever again. I want to be free of the constricting prison it creates and I want to walk away from its massive impact on my ability to get anything done.
I want it gone. It is not an old friend; nor is it a friend at all. However, it certainly is a tenacious fiend that exists in a manner that serves only to disrupt and not harmonise. It is not wanted and not warranted. It is existing, but soon it needs to be dissipating.
Well, it needed to dissipate a while ago, but if now is not acceptable, then sooner would be much better than later.
I will face this happening and I will stare it down. Perhaps I will do no more than that, for I know not the correct way to proceed. However, I will make sure that I stare it down. That is probably the least that I can do.
For this particular moment in time, however, I will continue to curse it and bemoan my fate. Then I will bide my time.
The time it took to write one thousand words: 11:51:49
This both felt easy and challenging to write, and I’m not sure why.
I think there were times where I became conscious of my getting too much into repetition and I tried to veer away a bit. Not sure if I was successful.
Written at home.