Once again I am tired and once again I need to get through a whole bunch of things so I can get a few other things done. This is what I do to myself and I need to stop doing it but I likely won’t. However, I can confirm that there was little, if any procrastination today.
There is going to be no hour of power this evening but I am going to try and power through the next thirty minutes. Maybe even more minutes. I’m not sure and it depends on a few things and I’m going to try, but I’m not trying to get a load of things done. I can take my time if I so wish.
Sometimes I wonder if there is any value in what I do and create and the answer is that there is and there is not. As that is all I wanted to say on that matter I’m just going to talk about other things now.
Trying to relax soon and there certainly will be relaxation. I’ve less to worry about this evening than I have in a good long while and so I’m pretty chuffed about that. However, there still are things I need to worry about. I need to write and then I need to do some chores and cook and slowly I will disappear into the banal and become something less interesting though I likely already was uninteresting and just deluded myself into believing otherwise. It’s a thing that happens and I’m good at it, but maybe I’m not and what I’m saying right now is a smokescreen of sorts.
However, that doesn’t matter. What does matter is that I need to try and find the context to all of this and it is a journey that has no end as there is no context beyond the context that I’m not going to bother writing about at the present moment due to being tired and lazy, or something. Anyway. as the journey has no end it is more about the journey than the destination and so therefore it is about learning and growing and becoming a greater person.
Then I will return and I will throw my hands up in the air and admit the defeat I’ve been handed, but of course I will truly be a victor as I gained so much during the journey and maybe I’ll go on another one. However, the other one will have an end but it won’t be the end I thought it would have, so therefore things change and take form and shift and all that other stuff, but it ends up mostly being the same thing anyway and sometimes that’s a nice thing. Sometimes a bit of repetition is fine, but it always depends on the kind of repetition that you’re getting and so I don’t want to get the wrong kind of repetition going.
Maybe it’ll not be repetition but will be subtle in its change. Who knows?
The time it took to write five-hundred words: 05:37:07
Bit of a struggle but I think that’s more due to being tired than anything else.
A messy evening ramble so nothing special, but it feels familiar which is… fine?
Written at home.