If anyone is wondering about my post from last night, I’ll probably explain it next week.
I haven’t made much mention of my ex recently so I thought I’d do that now, just as a full update.
We’re still in contact with each other.
I still miss her.
I asked her a few weeks back if she missed me, to which she replied that she did.
I was fairly happy about that. To me, it’s a good sign.
Talk has generally been of a close nature.
Still all messaging. Whilst I’d prefer to talk vocally, she has said she’s not ready, so I can wait.
She’s gotten me back into playing around with Paint a lot more than I used to.
I did start mucking around with it again a few months ago, but it was far less frequent than it is now.
I’m mostly doing things that will hopefully make her smile or laugh. So far I seem to have been doing a good job.
However, whilst things seem positive, I still have no idea what’s going on.
When there’s communication, it’s great. Everything clicks.
I feel a sense of elevated happiness that not much else provides.
Communication seems to have become random though. Admittedly, I can’t hold this against her as I am not her life, but I still find it odd.
I want to be able to tell her a lot of what I feel yet I still can’t. It’s frustrating at times.
I really want to be able to tell her that whilst I can’t promise an easy life, I can always be there for her and always be by her side, regardless of what happens.
I can’t say that yet either.
It’s still a delicate situation.
I have high hopes still though.
Apologies for the angst.
Stupidity Hole 