So right now I thought I’d try writing without playing music, which is something that I don’t often do; not through active attempts to not, but just by not having music playing whilst writing.

I’m not sure as to why I am doing this. Maybe it is to see just how much of an effect music has on my writing. Maybe I just want to try this out. Maybe I just decided and there is no reason. Not entirely sure, but what I am sure of is that at the moment I am writing without music playing and that is currently what I am doing.

In a way it feels odd. I’ve done it so much and perhaps I do rely on music as a crutch in places, but it can be a good crutch to have so long as I don’t rely on it to dictate everything there is in my life, which I don’t. In terms of writing, maybe it is not the best thing to have all the time and only some of the time instead. Perhaps it can get in the way of thinking about the writing and writing about writing as well as writing about thigs that are not related to writing.

And now I’ve hit a wall, which perhaps suggest that I might just rely on music a little too much. Not sure if that is something that I should be worried about. Regardless, it is something that I can work with.

Still, I can’t shake the sensation of this being weird for me, so to speak. It feels unfamiliar. I can hear other sounds outside and I can hear them as clearly as I usually do, but the absence of music sort of makes it feel like something different. On the plus side, it means that there is more focus on what is around me which is nice. There’s less focus on what is coming out of my speakers and more on those sounds both outside and inside my house. Of course I am drowning out some of that as I type as I can be a loud typist and right now I am typing loudly, thus living up to the being a loud typist. Still, what gets beyond the loudness is pleasant enough. There’s enough out there to be considered some form of ambience of which can become its own form of music; it has some sort of form to it, but of course outside of a token gesture I perceive it as formless in this particular moment, so hopefully it does not contribute to the influence that music may have on my writing.

Now I’m not sure as to where I should go from here. To be honest, I wasn’t planning on writing about the experience of writing without having music playing, but here we are and that is what I happen to be doing at this particular moment. I don’t think it makes for exciting writing for reading, but there still is a while to go and soon it will all be written out and we’ll see how this all ends.

Still feeling odd about the whole thing. Don’t know as to what I will do about this once I finish. I’ll probably put on some ,music and try and realign myself with myself so that all feels right again, but before I do that I need to do this and now I’m stumped for what I can write about. I don’t know where to go from here or what to do, and I’m not sure if I can drag this out long enough to justify its (probably) unjustifiable length. This is a bit of an issue but I’m sure that, given enough time, I can surmount what it is that I need to surmount.

Someone was just playing music from their car as they were driving past this residence and perhaps it was a little bit annoying, I found. The reason as to why I found this a little bit annoying is that it wasn’t the music that I want to listen to that was playing. I will survive, of course, but I don’t want to hear their music; I want to hear mine!

Well, not right now anyway. Right now I don’t want to hear any music. I just want to hear the sounds of what I am doing and the birds outside, and perhaps a gentle breeze blowing past something. That would be nice to hear. It also is nice to hear as that is what I am hearing at the moment. I do not hear a rhythm I recognise. I don’t hear shifting melodies and complexity serving written music. I don’t hear any of that. There is some melody on the outside, but that is not a melody I often seek. It is appreciable, however.

And now there are some other sounds in place of others and it is all changing and I’m still writing this out despite having nothing to work off of, which is something to work off of I guess. It’s… interesting? I don’t know what to say. I don’t know where to go from here. I think I’ve drawn this out long enough. Maybe it is time to give up on this bit of writing and move onto something else. There are other things that need to be worried about and I would like to put my music back on.

That said, I will finish this off first. I want to get this to the end before I move on as then I have completed this and can move on. Still, there will be more music and not less after this. That is what I’d very much prefer.

Now, to think of the words that I will use in order to get this wrapped up. This is the difficult part, but I think that I can think of something. Perhaps it will be something that expresses the music from the outside sounds.

The time it took to write one thousand words: 13:19:20

This was a fun thing to do, though it also was a struggle.

Written at home.