Sometimes a day grows long and you do your best to wrangle with it, but you can’t and so instead of doing anything during the day you struggle during the evening and hope for the best. Sometimes that is the way things go, but you make do and all of that other stuff.
Sometimes it feels as though there is a shadow creeping about and you think that eventually it will go away and leave you alone, but for some reason it does not. You feel that remaining silent will see it leave, but it doesn’t. It stays and it keeps on trying to reach out even though you’d rather it didn’t and it just keeps on lingering with a dogged persistence to the point where it makes you want to disappear in the hopes that it does not follow.
Maybe this is all too dramatic and that would be correct; this is all rather too dramatic, but bear in mind that there is a little something to it and that little something is becoming bigger. However, I shall continue to play the drama up as that is more fun, or something, and personally I’d much rather play that up than not and speak clearly.
So anyway, sometimes you want to leave the day long and then struggle through the evening, but there becomes an increasing apprehension as you know that on some level you’ll have to deal with the shadow and that is something that you don’t want to deal with. You don’t want to have to deal with it following you around every corner and through every sentence. You want it to go away as it is not your own shadow, but it won’t leave you alone and it just ends up causing a bit of stress as it’s doing a little too much. It doesn’t hang back and remains incessant.
Of course at this point there are options in which could be pursued, and hopefully if those options were pursued they would lead to some sort of relief. However, there is no real telling when it comes to those things. Still, that is no reason to not try. There should always be trying as you never know as to what will happen when you try to rid yourself of a shadow that is not yours that constantly follows. Maybe things will change. Maybe things will improve. Maybe there will be some sort of respite from the continued barrage. Who knows?
Well, I do, but I also don’t and I need to think about this. I’d much rather it gone as it does not help things in the slightest. It disappears sometimes, but it remains always there and its lingering presence has become troublesome. It is undesired, unwanted and at this point, uncomfortable. It needs to disappear, and if it doesn’t, I need to take affirmative action.
For now, it is not here, though it soon will be. Perhaps at that point I will be prepared for it.
The time it took to write five-hundred words: 07:06:32
Bit of a flat writing, but I hope the meaning is clear.
Written at home.