And so I sit here and bang on the keyboard and hope that somehow I get to the end of this, but there’s a mechanical buzzing outside, as though there are some sort of tools of power being used in the act of doing some sort of task and seeing it to completion, because there is, and I am powerless to stop it, but that has nothing to do with anything and so I’ll just keep on going and get to the end and then once at the end I’ll do the other things and then move on form there. That is the way that this will go.
However, I really would like the buzzing to stop, but now, due to the sound of how loud I am hitting the keys on this keyboard, I cannot tell if it still remains out there as a presence that is affecting in here.
Maybe I should stop for a moment so that I can get a grasp on what is happening outside. I could do that, but I don’t want to as I feel that I’m on a groove of sorts, or on a roll and the words are flowing with great effort, yet minimal effort, and so I keep on going and struggle through this will all the effort of someone who is not paying enough attention to what it is that they’re doing, for I’ve decided that, for some reason, it is better to not pay attention and just keep on going and then hope that everything makes sense once the end is reached, but the end is so far away from this particular point in time and I am just one person who is banging out words on a keyboard so that they’re visible in some way, shape or form to someone else who may stumble across this in the future, read it, and then move on as this is something that probably isn’t worth reading but hey, ‘m going to knock it out anyway. I’m going to get it done and then once it is done I’m going to do some other things as today is a day that requires a lot of productivity to get things done and I’m just the person to do the things and have them done.
So anyway, I think I’ve gone off on a bit of a tangent but all I want to do is write this out and then the next thing, but there are so many things that I want to write and there are so many things that I need to write and so I need to line them all up in a neat little row so as to be able to make sure that they’re all together, here in this space and so that there is some semblance of sense, though perhaps not in the sensible fashion. Perhaps that sense needs to be of the senseless variety and so I need to make more of a mess. I need to cast things astray and reposition all the words in a manner that suggests confusion being applied to those who read this. I need to find a way to make all things make less sense in a way where they make less and less sense the further this goes. However, perhaps this is something that should be saved for another day and right now I should just focus on getting the words down in a manner that suggests sentences due to the order in which the words fall and the conclusions that they reach.
So, if I am indeed to do that, then I need to know as to where it is that I will go from here. There are signposts and I can read them, but the words don’t come together in a manner that allows me to understand them, for they have no words and they are blank and perhaps these signposts don’t even exist. However, I would not suggest that for that would be telling.
Anyway, I see these signposts and I know not what they suggest is in each direction, so therefore I should probably go beyond the signpost. I should let go of direction and just walk forward and in that walking forward I should carve a new path. There would be mistakes, of course, but there could also be discoveries. There will definitely be a form of learning; one of which I should embrace more often than I don’t.
There also would be the twists and turns that imply the moving in a direction. There might be the sense of journey and all the camaraderie that may come along with that, assuming that I bring others along. However, instead of all of that I might just not and instead look to finish this off sooner rather than later, for it is going nowhere and I’m feeling aimless and so I need to aim my aimless arrow in a manner that breaks that aimlessness and leads to something that has an intended goal and a statement that reads out to all those who find it worth hearing so that I can get on with the things and then wrap this up and move on and then lead the life that I’ve always wanted to lead, though that may involve getting rich quick which is something I don’t feel much like doing right now, though perhaps I do, though really what I feel like doing is getting this finished and then doing the dishes for the dishes need to be done and I don’t like pushing responsibility aside, though I do, though now that I’ve said that I think I need to end this sentence and move toward the next one, for this has gone on for far too long and I’m going nowhere fast.
So anyway, I think I’ve said all that I can say right now, which is not much. However, the buzzing stopped and so for that I can say I’m glad.
The time it took to write one thousand words: 10:04:39
Bit of a mess, this writing is.
Written at home.