Gonna try and do something today that’s not an hour of power. Just gonna try and get a few things cleared out of the way so they no longer are sitting here, staring at me as I need to clear a few things out of the way so I can get on with other things, but let me tell you, I am exhausted.
It has been a long year and I feel as though in it I have lived eons and grown into something else. It hasn’t been long at all, but I am feeling it and all I can keep doing is pushing through everything and hope that things ease up a bit sooner rather than later.
It’s a slog but you get through it. You push and you keep trying and all that, but that’s not what I want to be diving into at thee moment. I want to try and express something a bit happier, or at least a bit more neutral. We’ll just have to see if that happens, however.
Well, we don’t. We don’t have to see at all. I just need to not write about shitty stuff and it’ll all be good. Maybe I will write about shitty stuff, however. It won’t do anything good, but it may be a good thing or something. I don’t know. I think of things to say and then I don’t think properly about saying them, though sometimes I do and sometimes that creates a situation where things are good, or something. Sometimes it creates a situation where things are bad.
It creates situations.
What am I even going on about here?
So I was sitting at my desk and I was throwing stuff at the wall and even though nothing was sticking I still ran with it all as that’s what you do sometimes. Sometimes you just use whatever and it may form something that you can use. Of course that doesn’t happen all the time, or sometimes most of the time, but some of the time it works and so therefore you just do the best you can. I think here it hasn’t helped at all, but that’s neither here nor there so I’m just gonna keep on thundering forward in the hopes that I can make it all work.
Falling back on bad habits. Need to push on forward. Need to think of something sad and miserable to write, then turn it into something happy. Maybe there will be some more reflection. I don’t know and I don’t profess to care to know right now. I started this writing and now I feel I’m in too deep and so I don’t know as to where else I can go from here.
Maybe I can just go over there and sit there for a while and see what happens. That could work. Maybe I’ll get to see some fish doing some fish things, or maybe I won’t.
Maybe I’ll just read a book for a while.
The time it took to write five-hundred words: 05:44:03
If there’s something I’ve gathered from this bit of writing, it’s that my ability to write at an accelerated pace has suffered a little more than I’d hoped. A fair few more spelling errors than usual resulted and I think it might have to do with various injuries flaring up a bit. Not sure.
The quality of the writing itself is poor. Aimless and meandering with no intention to be aimless and meandering, and does little to convey much. Does a lot to convey a little, however.
Written at home.