I’m sitting here, staring into space, wondering as to what it is that I should write.
The last few weeks have been pretty intense but it has been a good intense. Maybe not the best, but it has been good and good is better than bad, but now I’m here and despite my strong desire tow rite I can’t think of anything that I could put to digital paper.
Of course I’m writing this but this is just a stretch. This is just something to help buy some time, or at least spend some time being productive and I’m not doing too well at that, but I have to keep going. I have to keep on trying.
Currently I’m wondering if I’ve lost the club event photography job I managed to land. Sent through the latest batch, was asked to send them through again but unedited and that’s always a concern. I guess I’ll just have to see what happens from here. Maybe everything will be fine. Maybe not.
So that sums everything up. Other than that it has just been a lot of doing things and trying to get out of my job and… yeah. Now I’m here and I’m trying to think of some words to provide some sort of clarity and expression that makes everything gain some sort of poignancy but I’ve got nothing. I’m just floating here, hoping for the best but nothing comes to mind and so I’m just floating along, but really I’m sitting and I’ve got nothing.
Perhaps trying to fill this desire to write was the wrong move. Perhaps I should’ve remained sitting in silence, stewing on what I could’ve done better and all that stuff. Perhaps that would’ve been the smarter approach. However, I’m here now and I’m doing this and it’s too late to turn back, though maybe it isn’t, though maybe it is. Who is to say?
I’m struggling at this point and perhaps it is the way that I’m sitting here which I’ve realised is not conducive to getting some writing done. It was awkward but now I’ve fixed myself up and so I can gallop to the end of this, but there still remains and so on and so forth and you get the idea.
I need to write but I need to do better in writing and maybe I’ve just hit a wall again in everything. I don’t know and I hope I haven’t but I cannot rule out the possibility that I have, as that is a very real possibility. I am tired and I want to go lie in bed at rest, but I’ve started this and so it is time to finish this and I am getting there, but I will be thinking about stuff and I will be hoping to improve and… yeah. What else is there to say?
I guess I could talk about how I’m in a bit of pain but that’s as dull as everything else, so I won’t.
The time it took to write five-hundred words: 07:12:93
It was a struggle to write this. Had I done so about three hours earlier it would’ve been much less so, but it also would’ve been quite different.
Written at home.
Stupidity Hole 