A Poem Kind of About Fatigue

Posted on December 26, 2020 by Stupidity Hole

Rather tired at the moment and this is the result of trying to push through that being tired.

I hope you enjoy.

—

I am trying to find the words
To try and express what I want
Try, try try as I might
Nothing volunteers itself for use

Perhaps this is some sort of sign
Of a need to address the fatigue
That I wear on my being
As though it were an obelisk I treasured

It almost feels as though
I am trying to overthink this
When the solution is near
And sometimes easy to apply

Until that solution arrives
I shall continue to try
Try to find the words
To try and express what I want

 

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 844: It Started Alright and Got Worse the Longer I Wrote

Posted on December 26, 2020 by Stupidity Hole

Did the waiting too late thing again and now I am here which is where I always am and so I do the writing thing in the hopes that I get to the end of this to produce something that can be read without all the frustration that comes with all of the writing, but that is indeed what I am doing so I don’t know as to why I used the word “but”, but sometimes that is something that I do and I do not know as to why I do it, so… yeah.

Abusing language is not the best of things to do in this particular circumstance, but I do it a lot and I probably will do it some more in the following paragraphs. I don’t quite know as to why I do it, but I do it and it is something that I should perhaps break out of the habit of doing as there are better things to do with both my and your time. That’s what I think. Maybe I am incorrect in that thinking, but maybe I am not. I guess I’ll find out at the end of all of this writing, assuming that I even finish this bit of writing off.

I don’t know as to what length I shall make this. I don’t want this to go on for too long, but I don’t want it to be too short. I want it to use as much space as is best for it to use, but I don’t know as to how much space that is. Maybe I’ll work it out along the way, but I am not relying on hope to work all of that out. More relying on when it feels natural to finish.

Then there is another question that I need to ask myself. How many paragraphs should I make this? How long should each paragraph be? Is there something here that I should use as a guideline? I don’t know. I don’t know and I don’t know how to work out what I don’t know and what I do know so that I can then know how many paragraphs this bit of writing should be.

Then there is the other thing that I need to worry about and that other thing is the length of each sentences. At what point do I stop a sentence? Some would say at the end, but I would say that sometimes that is not exactly the best place to end a sentence as sometimes they become cyclic and wrap around themselves and that is something that is easy to is out on when you’re not paying attention to what it is and what it is not that you happen to be doing at any given time, so you need to make sure that you’re careful as if you’re not, then you might fall into a trap and then find yourself listening to those who would say some would say at the end.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 05:27:95

Other than the apt title, I do like the idea of pointlessly digging too deep into what I was writing as I was writing it.

Written at home.

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Warming Clouds

Posted on December 25, 2020 by Stupidity Hole

Another sunset photo.

With this one I was trying to show the massiveness of the clouds. I think that I kind of show that, but I could have done much better. Oh well.

I do like how the way the sunset’s light falls on the clouds. In parts to looks a bit like a mess, in others it sort of has a “lined” feel. I also like how the scene feels relaxed and kind of peaceful, yet also rather dramatic.

I hope you enjoy.

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One Thousand Word Challenge 97: Lengthy and Aimless Ramble

Posted on December 25, 2020 by Stupidity Hole

Feeling tired and all of that other stuff, so it is once more a time for a lengthy and aimless ramble. Don’t know where I’m going but I’m following the proverbial road and where that leads might just be into the woods of destiny. Maybe that will be what it is that I need to grasp this morning. The driving forward and the hoping for the best. That is somehow what I will aim for, or something. Maybe try for less repetition. However, maybe there will be a lot of repetition. It depends on how much repetition I feel is worth repeating.

Anyway, I’m tired and it is morning and it is that day that some people love and some people don’t love and that is fine by me either way. For me it is a day of working and the work needs to be done and I need to power on and get to the end of the day and hope for the best so that I can move toward doing other things but soon I will find myself in a deep, dark wood that I need to traverse so that I can get to the other end, but perhaps there will be things int here that I would much rather prefer I do not encounter. This is something that I need to consider.

However, in the face of fear, should we always cower? I would argue that sometimes you should face things regardless of how scary they seem as it may mean you find the way to overcome that which holds you back. There is of course the fear of learning something about yourself and who you are, but that can be something that you can then turn around and make into something else. You can gain the ability to move forward and stride outward and all of that other stuff. Things to consider and plenty of time in which they can be considered. All things worth considering.

However, there also is the concern of being trapped in the woods. Facing fears that I might finds within myself, or even perhaps external to myself is something I should be able to get past, but what if I am trapped in there forever? What if the woods are able to change their path and layout and thus, even though it may seem as though I am fine and all of that other stuff, I am in fact not fine and stuck there forever? What if the only way out is through? I do not know what I would do.

Of course when I say this, I mean the only way out being to abandon whatever vehicle it is that I am using and then walk my way out. Well, now that I think about it, I guess what I would do is use my legs to get myself out of these darkened woods and thus hopefully find some sort of success of which I could embrace and call my own until I share it with others so that they would be able to also find their way out of whatever it is that they find themselves caught in.

Maybe they wouldn’t have some sort of darkened, deep, transforming woods to deal with. Maybe their imprisonment would be some sort of massive ocean, or something else. There would be so many choices. I could have my victory, but the only way to make sure that it is not wasted is to make sure that I can use that victory to help others out of their predicaments and thus hopefully build stronger relationships as more and more people are helped out and we all go on our merry way to being better people, not just to ourselves, but to the world at large. That would be a great thing to do, I think.

Plenty of great things out there to do, of course, and one must do what they can to better themselves as well as others, but only to the extent that is best. You don’t want to go interfering with people unless it is necessary, so yeah. That’s a thing.

Well, I think that this is the point where I’ve hit what I can write for the time of day that it currently is and so I think it may be best to look at wrapping this bit of writing up and then doing the other things that I need to, or at least looking to do. There still are a few hours left in the day and there are other things out there. Today is going to be a day that involves the doing of things and maybe some of that involves helping some people out, but of course that is yet to be seen and all of that other stuff that I usually write about and so on and so forth and you get the idea, so really I should just look at seeing what I can and cannot wrap up before I get on with it and do the other things that need to be done, of which there are a few and there are plenty and there is more than enough for me to complain about, but perhaps today there shall be no complaining and instead there will just be the doing and then after the doing there will be complaining. Can complain after and not during.

Actually, I could complain during but that wouldn’t be as good a thing to do, I don’t think. Well, not today anyway. Today I can put the complaining off for a little bit, but maybe I will do some alter so that I can at least feel as though I’ve done my fair share for the day. Need to make sure you do enough; not too much and not too little. It’s a fine balance to strike, but it’s one you need to reach for so that things don’t go out of balance.

Anyway, time for other things.

The time it took to write one thousand words: 10:37:69

Rather fast, I think.
Also rather sloppy.

Written at home.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 843: No Talk of Christmas

Posted on December 24, 2020 by Stupidity Hole

So work has started but I’ve a little but of time to kill so I’m going on one of those rants that runs for a length and I don’t know what I am going to talk about. I know that I don’t want to talk about Christmas. I have nothing to say about that. There are other things out there that I’d like to talk about, so maybe I will work out how it will be that I will talk about those things. This is, of course, assuming that I do indeed end up talking about those things. As it tends to be, my segueing leads to other areas of discussion though those often aren’t stayed on as that is the way that it all flows and I like to keep moving, though of course not always. Sometimes I prefer to stay still.

I guess that what I am saying is that there is going to be some sort of discussion about things on this bit of writing. There may be a lot of things, but I am yet to find that out. It all depends on how the flow goes. However, of course there will be no talk of Christmas as that is something that I don’t feel like talking about. I don’t know as to what it is that I can add to the conversation surrounding such a thing and so I shall go elsewhere.

Actually, now that I think about it, I do know as to what it is that I could add to the conversation. It wouldn’t necessarily be anything new, but it certainly would be something that I indeed could add to the conversation and so I might just look at adding something else to the conversation, even if it is not something new. However, that may be for another day as right now there are other things that I want to discuss, such as the order in which things shall be discussed which in this stance helps no one understand anything better somehow.

HOWEVER! There shall not be the discussing of that either as there are other things at hand, such as the keyboard upon which I am banging all of this out. That is currently at hand and as such I shall use it to do other things in which I shall express other things that shall be expressed using the method of writing to express the medium of words in a way that the senses of the visual perception allow for the absorption…

But then I need to consider other things that I don’t want to consider and so instead of doing any of that I’m just not as there are other things out there that need to be worried about, such as the passing of the time and the changing of the guard and the something of the something, which of course is indeed something that I shall have to find out how to something, unless I don’t, which might happen.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 05:08:31

Took a while to upload this… thing.

Rambling, sure, but… that’s about the most positive thing I can say about this writing.

Written at home.

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Layered Clouds

Posted on December 23, 2020 by Stupidity Hole

Taken shortly before a storm hit.
It wasn’t the heaviest of rainfalls, but it certainly was satisfying.

I like the layering of the clouds here as there’s something rather menacing about how they appear. There’s also something quite beautiful about the layering, I think.

This is my submission into Leanne Cole‘s “Monochrome Madness” for this week.
I suggest checking out Leanne’s photography, as well as checking out what other people submit.

A lot of what people are submitting will likely end up here.

I hope you enjoy.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 842: On the Ball

Posted on December 23, 2020 by Stupidity Hole

And so the day begins and there are the sounds of cicadas outside, which is a sound I write like, even when it is overbearing, but I’m fine with that as I still find the sound to be rather pleasant. Today was not meant to be a work day but now it is and thus I will be getting the things done and the things that will get done will be related to work. Such is the way of the things and I hope that I get a lot done rather than a little as there is a lot to do and I need to get this all out of the way now so that I’m not doing it later as I don’t want to do this later and rather would get the boring stuff out of the way so that this can become exciting later on.

Well, I don’t know if this will become exciting. It’s all up in the proverbial air and so that is something that I need to bear in mind. All of this is up in the air and I nee to make sure that I catch all of it, but not only do I need to catch all of it, I also need to make sure that I catch it all in the right order so as to be able to make some sort of sense of the mess that I am creating. It is a bit of a tricky situation of which I have managed to put myself in so I need to make sure that I am on the ball.

Of course, this is assuming that the ball wants anything to do with me. There is every possibility in which the ball does not and that would cause some sort of issue. I don’t feel like having to negotiate with a ball as that would be a rather silly situation to find myself in and I am all about avoiding both silly situations and hypotheticals, which is something I do on a regular basis. Avoid them, that is. My time is better spent elsewhere and therefore I do my best to keep on chugging along with whatever.

Anyway, there will be juggling and I will be on the ball and all of this will create some sort of scene that will be witnessed by none, unless there are some, in which case it will be witnessed by more than non and that is something to aspire to, unless I don’t want anyone to see this happening, in which case I will need to find away to avoid the eyes of those who would look on. I don’t know as to how I would do this, but I imagine that the first step would involve exiting the scenario of which I have placed myself within, as then I could get away and find somewhere else where no one would be looking on, assuming that such a place even exists within this unlikely scenario.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 04:44:74

Silly and quick writing.

Written at home.

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Yoshitaka Hirota: The Fate ~ Cluster Amaryllis

Posted on December 22, 2020 by Stupidity Hole

I think I was trying to both describe the song as well as the imagery and I think it led to this being clunky. In part I that chunkiness is due to this being written over one listen with a few pauses and slight rewinds. Had I written this over four or five listens and I think I would have gotten more across and had it read much more smoothly.

Yoshitaka Hirota’s (弘田佳孝) “The Fate ~ Cluster Amaryllis” (appears to be just “彼岸花” so maybe the “Cluster Amaryllis” bit was added in translation) is from Shadow Hearts II Original Soundtrack, the soundtrack for Nautilus’ (originally known as Sacnoth) Shadow Hearts II aka Shadow Hearts: Covenant.

I hope you enjoy.

—

Acoustic guitar strikes out of a brief moment and soon it is met by some sort of keys. There’s something perhaps bleak or at least downtrodden about this. A sort of dance downward, but at the same time there is also an acceptance. Despite the dryness and the bitterness, despite how there is some sort of sense of things not likely turning out, there is something turning and there is a sense of confidence. Perhaps there’s a need to rise and walk forward.

Vocalising comes forward in this rise, and some bass becomes prominent. There is something building, then a pause and suddenly percussion and fiddle (or violin; I’m not sure) join the instruments and suddenly there’s a standing tall in the face of adversity. Accepting what needs to come and going through with it.

A brief shift to the opening moments, perhaps to serve as a brief pause before the band kicks off in full again and the fiddle takes lead and strikes out, stepping forward, moving steadily and with certainty toward what it is that needs to be done.

Suddenly it all drops out and the beat gains focus and the song becomes this sort of dark, ominous thing. The vocalising floats on somewhere above everything, the bass rumbles deeply and the guitar strums out and slightly draws out its notes. The percussion picks up in intensity for a moment, then the song drops out.

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Still Connected

Posted on December 22, 2020 by Stupidity Hole

The same power pole as seen in this photo, but with a softer and perhaps moodier sunset. Less dramatic, more “subtle”. Softer, gentler… kind of. Certainly less ominous.

With this one I feel there’s a bit more of a contrast between the power pole and cables, and the sky. The sky seems mostly relaxed but obscuring it is this blatantly obstructive thing that can’t be avoided.

I hope you enjoy.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 841: Through the Screen

Posted on December 22, 2020 by Stupidity Hole

An earlier start than the previous day, but there still is a lot to do, blah blah blah and you get the idea.

Today my fingers fly across the keyboard and may even fly through the screen. Not sure if they will, but they might. However, if they fly through the screen they will not enter the screen and thus traverse the internet. No. Instead they will destroy the laptop of which I use to do all of my “writing” and then I will need to fork out money that I do not have in order to be able to continue doing the “writing” that I do. Of course my fingers will have absconded from the crime scene by this point and so I will have no choice but to get on with whatever it is that I need to get on with, which I guess in this case would be hunting down my fingers and trying to return them to where they should be so that I can continue on with whatever it is that I am currently doing, which would be more “writing”, so I need to be careful with whatever it is that I’m doing, I guess.

Really, the way to avoid all of this is to just make sure that I don’t put my fingers through the screen as that way I don’t have to worry about repair costs (or replacement costs) and I also don’t have to go on a dangerous, yet exciting journey that leads me to somewhere that I don’t really feel like going to at the present moment due to the need to do other things and also a strong sense of laziness that I am trying to combat with one leg whilst using the other leg to retain balance and direction in my life so I don’t get lost along the way.

So, I guess what it is that I am saying is that I d0n’t want to destroy my laptop and I don’t want to fork out money that I can’t afford to use in order to replace or repair said laptop. I like what I have and I’d rather keep it intact instead of destroying it, so I won’t destroy it as that would ruin the whole idea of keeping it intact. Or would it rubbish the idea of keeping it intact?

So I guess that with all of that being said I have nothing else to say for the current moment. There will be more later, though perhaps I will scale it all back and instead aim for less. It depends on how aimless I am feeling later, or how aimless I am feeling like being later. That is something for the future and not actually for now, for now it is time to defeat the thing that I need to defeat in order to not put my fingers through my screen, and so that is what I am going to take care of for the time being.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 05:14:68

Pretty quick and makes sense in parts. I think that constitutes an improvement.

Written at home.

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