I don’t know why I leave so many things to the last minute. It’s not a good habit to be involved with. It would be better to not leave things to the last minute. I’m now rushing as I do not have too long before the commencement of work commences. Oh well. I’m sure that I can pull some sort of mess out from the middle of nowhere and have it planted onto whatever this thing will be, which is likely a mess of sorts. Perhaps it will be a tidy mess, but I imagine that instead of tidy it will be a messy mess. That’s the way it sometimes rolls uphill on here, and that’s what I am currently dealing out to the world. It all goes into the internet abyss and that’s kind of okay at this current moment. Could be much worse, of course. Could be much better.
Now I need to try and think on my feet, though I am sitting down sot hat does not help with the feet thinking. Maybe if I stand up that will get all the things flowing and thus this can truly become the mess that it is destined to become.
And now work has commenced and now I need to rush even more as I also need to dodge the calls of customers in order to get whatever this is going to become written out. I need to find a way to make more time, though there is no way and as such I need to make the most of what time is afforded to me in order to get all of this done. I don’t know what I’m doing and I don’t know as to how I am going to do it, but I’m sure that some how, in some manner I will find a way.
I need to throw proper sentence structure out the window. That needs to go as if I decide that it is a good thing to adhere to, then it might just throw everything else out the window. Now I don’t know what kind of mess I want, but a structured one just will not do as if I stick with the idea of structure, then the mess will get worse. It will slow everything down and it will get everywhere and then I will have a lot more to clean up. I’d much rather a lot less than a lot more. A lot more means more work. A lot less means I can leave it for longer and being able to leave it for longer means I don’t have to worry about it for longer. Sure, I could clean up the mess, but why would I do that? I have other things to do, and being responsible for my actions or lack thereof is quite far down on the list. It’s not that important. I need to do other things, responsibilities be damned.
So anyway, I need to also think of something to write but I don’t know what to think of in order to have a subject for writing, but then if I do think too much I’ll end up writing about the thinking that I am doing and I don’t want to write about that. I’d much rather write about fish, or something that is not fish. Something not fish related might be a good path to go down. However, I want to write about fish, but at this point I don’t know as to how I can incorporate them into this text.
You see, the first problem I have is that I only have liquid in my water bottle at hand. I am currently not immersed in liquid. The second problem is that I have no fish of which I can talk about and thus the idea suddenly loses traction and off I need to swim elsewhere into a slimy pulpit of decrepitude, where I might just have to confront myself and thus purge myself of all the failings and rottenness of which I so happen to readily wield like an armour as opposed to an armoire, thus causing other issues and a lot of hurt, but perhaps a realisation that I have grown as a person and can grow even further. I opened the door and only I am able to step through it, but I should step through it instead of hesitating. It is great to roll around in the muck, but it’s even greater to something something better person.
I guess that what I’m saying is that this is what I am saying and I need to ignore all that came before as this is the part where the writing truly begins. This is the part where the expected twist, or the expected poignancy must come in. I don’t know as to how I can welcome it into a place filled with stuff, but somehow I will get it crammed in here.
So you need to do the thing and better yourself, for no rain can wash away whatever it is that haunts you, despite how cathartic screaming in the rain can be, which often is cathartic and I would recommend doing it at some point in your life, though admittedly I have not done the act myself, but I can tell you that I much rather would like to at some point in my life as my understanding is that it can be quite cathartic and in that catharsis you get to obtain some sense of realisation about stuff, or something. In that realisation yo-u then get to have a sense of release and thus you get to walk forward. Of course I mean this in the metaphorical sense and not the literal sense, though there certainly will be forward walking, let me tell you.
Unless, of course, you decide to walk backwards, but of course you can still be going in the forward direction rather than the backward direction; whichever works at the time.
The time it took to write one thousand words: 11:26:21
Up until the last few sentences I was typing at a much faster pace. Slowed right down as I started actively thinking more than when I wrote everything else.
So, this is kind of a mess. It’s a flowing mess, but a mess nonetheless.
Written at home.