It’s a cold evening and I sit here and I bang on the keyboard. I try to think of things to say and nothing comes to mind so I’m sitting here and I feel restless but also in need of rest. I think that the evening is stretching itself thick and there is to escape from it, but it is not antagonistic; it just is so that’s fine.
I feel that so long as I keep on going for long enough I might get something done but there are so many things to do and I’ve wasted so much time so I’m not sure if I will get anything done. However, there is no point in letting uncertainty stop me from proceeding so I proceed. I keep on going with what it is that I’m going on with and I will see a result.
I really need to spend more time thinking right now but I just can’t help myself sometimes. Sometimes I just want to ramble and waffle on and I don’t necessarily mind if the results are a bit bland. I don’t mind that this thing continues on toward its end and I don’t mind that eventually I will be moving on and carving a different path. However, until that end comes I’m going to keep on going and not minding that right now I know I could be doing better with this writing and not doing better in the slightest.
Perhaps that is the wrong way to go about things but sometimes you need to let yourself be, or something.
So anyway I’m seated and doing this. I look out the window and a small hint of light comes through, but there is little it can do. Maybe it can hold out until sunrise, but right now it’s just there, shining out, providing a minute amount of illumination. Maybe it could provide more, but right now it cannot and that is the way it is when it comes to lights resisting night.
In here it is relatively bright and that brightness is sort of fine. It could be brighter, but I wouldn’t want it to be too bright. Too much brightness is not necessarily a good thing and so… yeah. It doesn’t even matter that much right now, if at all. However, maybe it will matter later. Maybe it will matter at some future point in time but I have no way of knowing that at this particular juncture in time and so I’m not going to worry myself with that. Would rather worry myself with what I’m going to do after I finish this rambling, though I already know and so I will do whatever that is and it will mark some sort of process in the forward direction, though maybe it will be backward.
Forward in time whilst backward in development of quality; that’s not that interesting, but perhaps it is something I should think more about but I won’t because I’ve no words left.
The time it took to write five-hundred words: 06:31:38
Bit of a struggle this one, but I think it’s due to a lot of procrastination before throwing myself into this. I think.
Written at home.