I should be doing other things. I really should. I should be going for a walk and basking in the sun and I should be embracing what little warmth there is left in the day.
It has been a long day and I’ve probably done a lot to make it long. Now colours creep across the sky and soon the sky will grow dark as night descends upon this little place, though it doesn’t descend so much as it fades in.
An evening of hours stretches out and layers itself forward and it is up to me to walk the path that is now created and so on and so forth, but I don’t know if I can but I will and all that other junk.
What a day.
It was long and it was tiring, but that isn’t really something to complain about. There are far, far worse things out there and I got to here and so that is its own small victory. There is always tomorrow, but I need to get enough sleep and all that other stuff and I need to get on with getting on and find the way forward in order to go backward so that when I am looking sideways I know the ways that lead to the sides and all those other things that I need to know in order to know, you know?
I think that in saying all of that I can successfully proclaim that I’ve said a lot to say very little and so the rambling will continue. It will continue and it will fill the space. There will be nothing but rambling and the rambling will coalesce and hopefully there will be something with substance at the end of it all. I cannot guarantee a thing, of course, but I do try and trying is what I do and so doing the trying is what I will try to do.
I think that in saying all of that I need to think of all the other things and then fold them over each other so that I can create layers. Layers of nothing still produce layers of something and through that the true meaning of understanding will be understood and the way forward will finally be revealed and I’ll know that the glowing orb that lays at the end of this path of hours will be little more than an object and it was never about receiving the object but the journey. It was all about the journey and what I learned and how I changed, and I changed in a way that I could ever return from and so in knowing that I can no longer feel comfortable with what it was that I had and that which was around me and so, whilst shedding tears I walk off into a distance to try and find that which I will find as a place that I can accept as a place I may once more find comfort.
The time it took to write five-hundred words: 05:17:28
This came forward really easily. It just kind of rolled out.
Not good writing, however.
Written at home.