One Thousand Word Challenge 197: Squeeze Words Out of a Rock

Posted on December 17, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

Sometimes I feel like I’m struggling to squeeze words out of a rock and my increasing fatigue is something that is trying to push and hold me away, and the longer it does so, the greater chance of success it has. Still, I stubbornly refuse to stop and go elsewhere. Need to do what I can where I can.

Anyway, today is one of those days. It is a day far longer in the tooth than I’d expect a day to be and it just seems to keep on pushing on. I struggle against its tide but all am is driftwood and I am not able to leave the water long enough to avoid being pulled back in.

There still are quite a few hours left in the day, however, and there still is time to push past all of this. I’m struggling to get these words out, but I’m getting there and I think I can get there, or I should say rather that I think I can continue to get there. Just a bit of an uphill.

The day itself is cold and windy and perhaps dreary, but in a way it makes it better for writing, though of course I’m just idealising the day as something that allows focus as it actually is not allowing focus. Still, if I can delude myself just enough to be able to finish some writing off, then I can do what I need to do and get to where I need to get, and perhaps that will soon be bed. Perhaps more rest will soon be needed.

I wonder if sometimes I’ve just pushed myself too hard for too long and now I just need to rest and that’s it. Sometimes I wonder if that is indeed the case. Of course that’s not necessarily limited to the continuing creation of waste here, but in all aspects. I wonder that but instead of changing things around I’ll just continue on as that’s what I’ve always done. I don’t seem to stop even though I strongly desire to and I don’t seem to rest in a healthy manner even though I increasingly need to and so on and so forth.

This isn’t really doing anything to benefit the writing today but I feel compelled to mention it as I’m in a state of fatigue and all that and you get the idea. Still, whilst probably undesirable, the weather is strangely appreciable. It offers something and even though I’m yet to discern what that is (at least in terms of symbolic meaning of the personal variety), it still is something I just like. It’s a bit cooler and there’s something about how the sky looks kind of dulled and unpleasant that I find pleasant.

The sky is bright. I might be willing to say that it feels brighter than it usually is, but the clouds hang there, smothering everything. They are almost uniform though there are subtle changes in the shading. Actually, maybe it isn’t subtle, but it seems to be subtle to me so I’m going to say the changes in shading are subtle.

Anyway, the changes in shading are subtly and at parts its almost as though the brighter bits are lines of brighter light breaking through, refusing to be smothered. Eventually they will get there, but as they do the sky will become less bright in appearance, or maybe it will remain as is as it returns to a familiar blue and the clouds make the light seem brighter due to their reflective nature.

Maybe I should try and take some sort of influence from the clouds and try and make my writing more like them; menacing and threatening. They threaten to rain upon my parade, but I will not let them. My parade will be out of the storm before the storm even knows what is going on. It will need to be so it can pull me away from the tide and so I can get up and go for a walk and take it easy and so on and so forth until the eternity finds something new to throw at me, though of course there is no eternity and I am merely being dramatic.

now the question becomes about why I have chosen to be dramatic, though there never was any question at all. There’s little to worry about in terms of questioning when it comes to this writing, but there certainly remains a need for sleep. I am going to push on through the rest of the day; I think I can get to the end, but I need to try and plan things out a bit so I actually can get there. If I can do it then I am set and it is smooth sailing for an hour and in that hour it is just rest and then it is sleep. If I can’t do it, well, I still have things I have to do today and so it will be in a dutiful manner that I see those things to completion.

However, that is the future and now is now, and I can’t live in what will come for I am here now and I only exist now. I will exist later, but I can never exist later as later is ahead of the present and I will always be here and so in this state of fatigue, of trying to squeeze words out of a rock whilst being pushed away by said fatigue is something I have to live now and cannot postpone, but I so very much wish I could. I wish I could push it to the side and never have to worry about it, but I cannot and so I will keep on squeezing that rock. I will keep on doing so and get through this and get to the end and then I’ll be able to rest.

That said, I do wish the rock didn’t require as much force.

The time it took to write one thousand words: 13:22:14

This was a bit of a struggle to write and I probably could’ve kept it a bit shorter.
It drags a bit in places and the writing is clunky. Still, I get something across.

Written at home.

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Sydney CBD in Red

Posted on December 16, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

This came from stuffing about and it’s not the best, but I like it anyway. I think it’s due to it being stylised and rough. Seems almost gritty.

I hope you enjoy.

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Jun Fukamachi: Quark

Posted on December 15, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

I made an attempt on this last week and was too tired to get a good start on it and so I put it aside. Took me until a good few minutes ago to get to it again due to long days of work and other things getting in the way.

Anyway, this was over one listen and I did my best to write freely, so to speak, and I think it worked. I don’t know if this does a good job of capturing a sense of the song but I think the writing works well enough as it is… sort of.

Jun Fukamachi’s “Quark” is from Quark.

I hope you enjoy.

—

Rapidly something expands outward, growing almost overwhelming, rising and rising and surrounding all as it continues to expand, rising and rising until it suddenly stops.

Something new arrives and heralds an arrival. It is new and celebratory and jaunty. Keys beep and shimmer and soon disappear and it all relaxes and becomes cool, but not slinky. It beeps and stays smooth and almost sultry and soon it steps outside and calls and cries into the great beyond.

Keys strike specific moments and a tension comes in; it is sort of an edge and a bite and it seems like something is marching and approaching the rest of the sounds push themselves along. A moment of drama as voices underscore and drone on in a menace and it all stops whilst the voices continue on. It then continues and stops, and continues and stops and continues and the voices grow louder, as does a howling in the background.

Suddenly it all falls as one sharp sound and it falls over a vast landscape of nothingness. The menace has changed and some sort of static cracks over and around the sounds. It almost seems like some sort of deception and then a grand cosmic smallness plays out whilst more sounds seem to interweave and stay apart.

More sound descends and expands with new imagery and something shimmers above, and maybe this is all a moment stretched out across all. It could be regal as the sounds take on some regal form of sorts when they now seem distant and small. Regal and adventurous and jaunty. Soon something akin to an idea of percussion comes in and plays along whilst others change to keep rhythm and melody to allow some exploration and then it all snaps back to this jaunty regal procession.

Something closer to piano comes in and quite rapidly takes over and brings all back to something closer to home and closer to the heart. The keys glitter and keep the melody going and it seems so like it can be touched but the sound is out of reach, and it slows down and a brief breath is taken.

The keys play slower now, under the stars, under the cosmos and sounds appear hear and there as objects move above the sky, and maybe it is daytime but it could be night. The keys roll along; they are running through a field and they are moving beyond themselves and for a slight moment they ask a question and roll off and float away.

Something new arrives and heralds an arrival. It celebrates the grandness of it all and it sound rises underneath the jauntiness, and then it moves into a world of the cool, and it’s almost mysterious. It moves with a smoothness and gradually fades out before anything can be answered, and the song ends.

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In Sunset’s Shadow

Posted on December 14, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

Another of this tree, though with more space and more of an atmospheric and perhaps sad feeling.

I like photos like this and I think it is in part due to the minimalism and in part due to the weight of emotion they can carry. I think they beget introspection, among other things. I also like how they draw attention to form as well as perspective; this tree almost looks like it’s a gigantic growth.

This is my submission into Leanne Cole‘s “Monochrome Madness” for this week.
I suggest checking out Leanne’s photography, as well as checking out what other people submit.

A lot of what people are submitting will likely end up here.

I hope you enjoy.

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Bocuma: A Small Cluster

Posted on December 13, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

One listen for this one.

I think I threw myself off a bit. I’ve listened to this song a few times but I don’t think I was expecting it to be as simple as it was and so I didn’t allow myself to get loose and more vivid, or write in a way that expressed imagery. As such this captures the song, but not as expressive as I hoped.

Bocuma’s “A Small Cluster” is from The Day of Purple Dawning.

I hope you enjoy.

—

Sound pulses back and forth with a steady rhythm. It underscores a nothingness and an emptiness that seems like it will soon fill. It is not long before this sound starts rising and falling, moving toward something else and keeping a melody forming. Something else pulses in the background, eventually moving forward as though it is rotating into prominence. These two sounds almost seem like they’re out of sync, but they continue their careful motion around and alongside each other, almost trying to stay that way.

Suddenly they stop and voices come in, and they are clear and vague, and there is some sort of firmness and worry, and more sounds come in, filtering through, carrying a cold warmth and seemingly pulsing some more, and remaining almost not like sound, or at least like some sort of dulled crystalline object, but it fades, as does the conversation as though it was just something passing on by, and the song ends.

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Various Clouds

Posted on December 12, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

I feel like this is some sort of spread, so to speak. It might have to do with the cloud positioning relative to where I was when I took the photo.

There certainly is a good feel of massiveness here, I think, which likely has a bit to do with how little land is in the view. Maybe. Clouds usually look pretty massive anyway,

This is my submission into the two hundred-and-twenty-ninth Lens-Artists Photo Challenge. The theme for this one is “Perfect Patterns“.

I don’t know if I could clearly articulate an idea of what a perfect pattern in nature would be, but I think the patterns that clouds form are pretty neat, so I feel this counts.

The host of the Lens-Artists challenges cycles weekly between the following people:

Week 1 – Tina

Week 2 – Patti

Week 3 – Ann-Christine aka Leya

Week 4 – Amy

Week 5 – John Steiner

Week 6 – Sofia Alves

Week 7 – Anne Sandler

Week 8 – Guest host

This one is curated by Leya. Tina curates the next one.

I recommend participating in the challenges. They’re open enough to allow for a fair bit of thinking about approach and closed enough to keep focus on meeting the theme of each one. If you don’t participate, you should still check out what others of the Lens-Artists community are submitting.

I hope you enjoy.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1195: Cicadas, Libraries

Posted on December 12, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

So right now I’m working against another timer and that is the timer for when my breakfast will be ready. Trying to maximise my time and all and I haven’t put any sound on as of yet. Trying to also work past some slight blistering on my fingers but I can do it. I’m an adult; I can get past all of this. There are worse things out there, so… yeah.

Once more I’ve no idea as to what I’m gonna crap on about and perhaps that is what I should let be the way of things. I should just let it all flow out of my fingers and follow the things and maybe try and write about the presence of libraries and how we need to protect them but the sound of cicadas grows present and so that takes over all that is and all that will ever be in this moment of presence.

The sound is here and it is now and it exists as an eternal thing, but soon it drops away and moves off to a form of silence and therefore it no longer exists in a way that I am meant to perceive it due to it no longer existing in this particular space that is around me, or something.

That said, I think I need to think about the sound and why it starts and stops. I have a feeling it has to do with mating calls, but maybe it also has to do with predation. Harder to track prey when it is not making much noise and so maybe cicadas stop making the noise when they sense predators are in the area.

Maybe they stop as they need to rest for a moment, or maybe they stop due to finding a mate. Maybe they start due to finding a mate.

I know very little about cicadas and I know very little about libraries, but I think both are goo things for differing reasons. Cicadas as they function as part of a healthy ecosystem (depending on where they are, of course), and libraries as they provide some important services, and of course act as a large resource of literature.

Maybe these two things can grow in tandem and maybe we can create libraries full of cicadas, or at least have strong environmental support in the immediate area surrounding libraries and so therefore will have more cicadas, or something. Need the right plants and other stuff, of course.

Maybe we need to think about how we can integrate nature properly and effectively into the urban sprawl and make the urban sprawl look less developed. There is plenty of space for trees, among other things and so we should really start looking at better design.

There probably are a lot of things at which we should be looking but we don’t look at them so… yeah. But more trees would be a good start. Other than being nice, it would help make our living space healthier.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 06:23:19

I wrote this earlier today at the start of what turned out to be a rather intense work day.
I think I was hoping for something silly and parts of this are, but it also touches on an optimism for the urban environment.

Written at home.

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A Poem About my Music not Playing

Posted on December 11, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

Been a while since I’ve written something that could be construed as poetry.
As with most of the things I churn out this was rushed through. Audio decided to stop working and so I thought I’d crap on about it, so this is far shallower than it seems.

Maybe it’s exactly as shallow as it seems.

I hope you enjoy.

—

Sound is what I want to hear
And it is all around me
But from the source I desire
Not a peep rings out

I try to find the issue
And remove it from this place
Though try as I might
It eludes me

So I try to continue on
And work in the quiet
Though surrounded by sound
I do not desire

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Water Trails on Rock

Posted on December 10, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

I took this photo mostly as a reference due to how water was moving over the rock.
I hadn’t seen water moving from this kind of vegetation in this kind of manner before, or at least I couldn’t remember the last time I saw something like this at a coastal area.

I feel like the water looks almost like it is moving through the rock, and perhaps in part it is.

I hope you enjoy.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1194: Going Forward Backward

Posted on December 9, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

Afternoon is the great enemy as it invites more procrastination. That is what I’m going to tell myself as I am currently racing about and trying to get things done before I need to go and get more things done.

I think that I can fight off the afternoon by reversing time somehow. However, I imagine that even if I were to reverse time I’d still be moving forward through the reversal and so, even if I ended up in the past I still would have aged and thus not necessarily bought myself any more time.

Ergo, the only way to buy myself more time is to find a way to de-age myself just enough so as to be able to have more time to work with so as to be able to spend more time not doing much of anything so as to be able to be in a position where I’m procrastinating far too much so as to be able to be stressed about having far too many things on my plate and not enough time to chew through them all.

It’s a bit of a cycle, really.

Perhaps that means that the way that I need to go about enacting my plan is through the power of the leg and start pedaling my sweet little heart out. If I do that then perhaps I can make waves and move through time in the way that is internal rather than external and I’ll move backward for just a few years. Maybe five, maybe six. That way I can get on with the getting on and do the things and procrastinate.

I don’t think I’ve thought this through very well. If I only make my self move back through time then I am still in the present and still stuck with a whole slew of issues that I am unable to deal with. If I make myself move back through time then I am in the past and perhaps can put myself into a better position for success, but I still move forward and thus and stuck with a whole slew of problems.

Perhaps there is no point in going backward. I mean, sure, I could try and combine the two so that I maximise all the opportunity and chance that I have, but why would I do that? That seems like some sort of tall order and I am not a tall person. There is only so much that I can do and that would present an unfair advantage of sorts.

Maybe it would be a fair advantage.

Anyway, I’m sure that I will find a way to defeat the afternoon. I’m sure that I will work this out after trying to work out how to work it out. I’m sure that I will get there, somehow and I’m sure that, at the end of it all I will find what it is that I must find on this quest that seems to end only when never expires.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 06:09:52

More fun silliness. Came easy. Bit messy in parts but I feel it mostly flows well.

Written at home.

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