Two Thousand Words in Twenty Minutes Again

Posted on November 15, 2021 by Stupidity Hole

So I’m pretty sure that at one point I wasn’t going to do another one of these. It seemed a bit pointless, but today has been a long and heavy day and right now I just want to get something done. I want to put something down on paper and I don’t know if I want it to be too personal, or personal at all. I just want to write and I am exhausted by the day’s events. Still, I am going to do this and then there will be some more and then I will rest, for I need to rest and relax. It has been a long and heavy day full of drama, intensity and aggression, and I need a break from it and I will get that break.

The thing is, once the events in question ended (and I guess this goes for any situation really, or at least many situations), they didn’t truly end. They unfurled a lengthy tail of which I am only now walking past and seeing disappear into an implied horizon. It took a really long time and it was just taxing, but we’re here now and being here now is better than where I was before, so I guess I need to see this for what positives are coming this way. However, there’s just a lot of neutrality at the moment. There’s no feeling of happiness or joy or any of that; it’s just a wide flatness. It’s being drained and it’s all of those other things that I can say in order to describe what I do or do not feel right now, but I don’t even know if I have the energy to get into that.

I need a break and I need a rest, and perhaps not just the one that I’ll be taking very soon. I need to get away from things and I need a bit of time and all of those other things that I need.

I didn’t want to get personal with this, but this is all the preamble and so I need to say all of this so as to be able to prepare for the main topic. Now, I cannot reveal the main topic as of yet as revealing that would be telling and it is much better to build up and then once having reached the point of the right amount of building up, letting you know what it is and then discussing it from there as that way I get the thing out in a punchy manner, or something.

Look, I don’t actually know as to how these things work and I’m just making it up as I go along, but maybe that’s a good thing. It could also be a bad thing, but I’m going to pretend that right now it is a good thing as I’m fighting the fatigue that I should give attention to and I’m fighting to stay awake long enough to be able to finish this off. Still, it is a bit of a gargantuan task at the moment. It almost feels overwhelming. I don’t know if I will be able to get to the end, but of course I need to try if I am already this far in as there still are many words to go and perhaps I can turn this around and make sure that UI get to the end in one piece.

Well, I’ll get to the end in one piece regardless of what happens, but sometimes it feels like I won’t. Sometimes it feels like I’m clinging on and won’t make it, but of course I always do as that’s just what happens. When you spend enough time pouring out every word you can in order to write a lot of nonsense, you end up finding a way to get to the end of whatever it is that you’re writing. It doesn’t matter if it turns out poorly; you still do it and you still get there and at the end of it all you then have this thing that you’ll forget about as you do it so often that you don’t even pay too much attention to all the things you’ve written.

Perhaps that is a bad way of going about things, but that is indeed the way that I go about things here and so therefore I’ve probably said far, far too much. I now need to find a way to retract my steps and therefore hide the thing that I now need to hide, which is the saying of far, far too much. However, once a step is done, it cannot be undone. We can imply that it is outdone but it still existed in some way and so long as it remains remembered, or so long as it has an effect or has affected some things, then perhaps it still exists as a thing even though it has no necessary physical existence.

However, I’m not going to get into that at the moment as I’m running out of time and I need to hurry before I completely run out of time. There are things that need to be done and those things need their doing now so as to be able top have them done and now I’m getting back into old habits and I want to avoid old habits as I want to get this finished and then once I have this finished I want to rest.

Still feeling tired. Feeling drained. Feeling al of those things that I don’t want to feel, but sometimes they must be felt. sometimes you must feel things you don’t want to feel in order to progress through things. It is better to live a life full of ups and down than a life that is a constant. That being said, I feel like my life is currently a constant, or at least a series of constants that have no discernible beginning and end and therefore it all feels like it’s just one constant running thing that I can’t think of the name right now.

Jogging machine, or something. Anyway…

So I’m stuck on one of those and there’s no going anywhere.

It’s called a treadmill.

And I’m not going anywhere and in that not going anywhere I’m not progressing and it’s all a bit of a crisis and so on and so forth. I’m sure that I’ll feel better once I sleep, but of course sleep needs to come first. I need that so I can feel rested and once I feel rested I can get on with other things. However, tomorrow is another dense day of work and I need to get through it before I can go on with anything else. If I don’t, then I know not what it is that I’ll do other than keep on going. There are options of the other variety, of course, but perhaps they will not be explored in any meaningful way other than in the way that expresses them meaningfully. You know how it is.

I don’t.

Well, maybe I do, but as you can see I’m already struggling. However, this is past the point where I’m half of the way and so maybe I can make it. Maybe I can get to the end of this without writing about it any more than I am now and then if I can do that, then maybe I will get under the minute mark of twenty. It is possible, but I need to fight the fatigue.

I need to rest. I should stop writing. However, I won’t as I want to get to the end of this and then once I am at the end, that will be when I rest… after I do the other thing, of course. Then after that I will rest.

There still is time and so on and so forth and I think that this should have been done earlier in the day, but a lot of what I do should be done earlier in the day and all this delaying due to the unfortunate events of people being shitty for little, if any reason gets in the way of doing things. Therefore, I suggest that, if there is one thing out there that people shouldn’t do, it is be shitty.

It gets in the way of actually being good. Sure, you’re gonna be pissed off on the odd occasion, but don’t be shitty. Don’t burn the energy that you have on being shitty. There are other, far more important things out there that you can do with your time and being shitty just cuts into that. It gets in the way of things. It prevents you from not being shitty. Don’t do it. Be nice. Be kind. Be respectful where you can. Treat the planet in a loving and caring way. Treat those around you with respect. And so on and so forth.

I think that’s the best thing that I can muster at the moment. I just don’t think I have it in me to provide anything with something that is agreeable any more than that. Now, I’m sure that people will create their own definitions of being respectful in order to justify their shitty behaviour, but instead of doing that you could just… well, be respectful. Anyway…

So now that I’ve said the one thing that I will say that has any relevance this evening. I need to find a way to wrap this up in an efficient manner. That was the whole subject just above. That was the whole reason for this post; or, at least I’m pretending that that was the whole reason for this post. It was more just to spew wantonly, but I’m pretty sure that I’ve done a terrible job of that and so I’ll just keep on going as though most of this has been worth reading. Sure, maybe it has to some, but it really isn’t and at the end of the day it’s little else other than an egotistical endeavour, but sometimes that’s the way things are. I’m putting myself out here and even though I won’t get fame and fortune from this and I am keenly aware of that, I keep doing this as ultimately there is some ego in writing all of the words that I write and then publishing them out there, with “there” being here. I can’t deny that and even though I don’t think I’ll get anywhere, I have to admit that my ego is in part a driving force, or at least the ego that I have, or something.

I don’t intend to differentiate there as there is nothing to differentiate.

So anyway, now that I’ve said all of this I guess it is time for me to stop and relax as I feel the need to relax creeping up on me pretty quickly. This isn’t a problem and to be fair I felt the need earlier, but I have to admit that right now I really feel the need and so I am going to entertain that need as that is better than not entertaining said need. The music that I was listening top has ended and now all I hear are the sounds of the keyboard as I press against the keys with some sort of strength, and I hear some sounds outside. There are other sounds in here, but they are incidental, but then again, maybe all sounds are or something.

Look, there probably is something worth reading in all of this. There could be something profound. I don’t know. I’m not banking on any of that, but I did what I set out to do and that is something of which I can feel some sort of smug satisfaction from, for that is something that I did and now it is coming to an end and rapidly so, but sometimes that’s just the way things go. However, sometimes that isn’t quite the case.

19:52:49

Rest time, I think.

I did this again as I didn’t feel up to writing more than once so I decided to go for something big. Probably not a good reason, but… yeah.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1030: Got a bit More Serious Than I Anticipated

Posted on November 14, 2021 by Stupidity Hole

And so I need to rush once more as I’ve postponed things once more and this is a bad habit that I need to shake off like a case of fleas. Such is the way of things that involve needing to shake off bad habits.

Therefore I will write this as quickly as possible. Then, once I have done this I will wait a while before I write the next thing as that is the way that the cycle cycles, or something.

I need to think of new things to write about and maybe that will be a little bit easier right now. I’m a little more awake than usual, so you never know with these things. Maybe I will write about rockets heading to the moon and beyond and how they may be solar powered, or something. Of course that solar powering will depend on how effective the panels are at absorbing light, as well as how efficiently power storage operates and use of said power functions. However, that’s not important right now.

What is important is expressing the willingness to desire and the desire to see said desire achieve something, but not out of selfishness, or something. You need to do it out of other things and those things then form things that continually change shape and in their changing shape other things are formed and it keeps on going. Slowly over time constituent elements form other things as things break down and other things form out of those things and it continues on in a cycle that seems to never end, but sometimes that’s just the way things go and you go with it if you can. Of course you don’t always go with it, but you  do go with it where you can so you can follow and learn and discover and think about how small and insignificant we are compared to the grand scheme of things, of which we are an undeniable, yet utterly small component. Still, we make our mark on this planet of which we inhabit and perhaps we need to make a better, healthier mark than the one we are currently making as we’re not doing what one might refer to as a good job of looking after things.

However, I digress.

I think that in the overall scheme of things there are things we should be spending more time thinking about, and I need to include myself in that. There are a lot of things that we need to spend more time thinking about, really.

However, that is also a digression and I’m just going to go back to writing the nonsense that I so readily churn out as that is far more entertaining and less dire than other things that we need to think about, and really, something something and so on and so forth and this is the bit where I work out that I need to wrap this up pretty soon, so I guess I’ll now do that.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 05:40:94

Did not expect this to go where it did.
Probably could’ve made this one very serious thing, but I didn’t and… yeah.

Written at home.

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One Thousand Word Challenge 156: Saturday Tired Ramble

Posted on November 13, 2021 by Stupidity Hole

The night stretches over and the festivities start, but I am far away from them as I am in the room with the bed and I am beavering away i front of the keyboard to once again set a series of words in an order in order to express some sort of thing that may or may not make sense.

It’s a long night.

It’s a long day and I sit here at the end of it and soon I will find some rest, but I need to get on with things and get them out of the way.

I say that a lot.

What I don’t say a lot is that the winds will carry the fortune of those who choose to ride them. However, how would they ride the winds? Would they ride the winds using boats with sails? Would they glide using various things that allow people to glide? I don’t know and I don’t care, for I am in a room and I am tired and I don’t even know as to hwy I am mentioning that, but I am and therefore I have now said it and, whilst it would be easy enough for me to stop writing this at this particular point and prevent any of what I’ve written from being seen, I won’t as I’ve written it and I do enjoy throwing things into the abyss that is The Internet.

So anyway, I think that I need to find something to talk about, but the only thing that I can find are the boxes that are near me, as there have been arrivals and few departures. Many arrivals, that is, though this box only represents one of these arrivals and I don’t even know why I am mentioning this, so I guess I should rapidly now move onto the next thing before I fall into a pool of my creation.

Maybe that would be a good idea, actually. Maybe I should take a bit of a dive and see where it leads. Maybe it would lead to the ocean, for this is in a cavern of sorts and it leading to the ocean would make sense as the ocean is nearby and visible. However, that is not necessarily guaranteed. This pool could see its source of water sourced from elsewhere. IT could be from somewhere far from the ocean… I think… and thus I could end up swimming underwater for a while. That is not something that I feel like doing as I don’t feel like doing that. Sure, it’s dangerous, but I’d rather not spend a lot of time swimming through a tunnel as that just seems like it could take a while and a while is time I could spend not doing that and instead relaxing somewhere really nice.

I don’t know as to where, however. Maybe on a mountain somewhere. Not on the steep parts mind you, but maybe somewhere where the slope is gentle. However, I wouldn’t want to be too close to the base. I can’t explain why as I don’t have any reason as to why, but I’d much prefer to be somewhere away from the base of the mountain, or at least not too close to the base. It would feel more hidden, maybe.

There’d be a nice river that runs off somewhere and I’d read for a while. Maybe make my breakfast. Maybe occasionally go into town but try to avoid doing so as I’d be in this place to work. Of course there’d be upkeep to worry about, but otherwise there’d be a bit of relaxing and a lot of doing of the things in order to get them done as I still have obligations and all of those other things that I much prefer avoiding than actually doing.

Maybe in my avoiding doing things I can create this mountain myself. I can let everything build up and as it builds up it might build up sediment too. Maybe it would also start attracting various creatures and slowly a habitat would build up and spread all over this mountain of obligation and then as that happens it would grow bigger and then I could have my little residency somewhere on the mountain and slowly work through the obligations until the mountain returns to nothingness. That could be a thing that I could do, but of course that too would require some serious effort and that is not something I’m willing to expend effort on. It is in limited quantities around here and so I must spend it wisely. I want to make sure that I don’t use too much on one thing and would rather spread it out where I can.

Maybe that’s part of the problem, but of course I’m not going to acknowledge that in any way, shape or form. Instead I’m going to go find some snow and go skating and all those other things that people do when they see snow. Maybe I’ll do that for a while and then I’ll come back home and see that I’ve put off things for far too long and thus I’ll need to engage in gnarly combat in order to bring the thing that I’ve created by mistake down.

I don’t want it to come after me, but it might, so I’ll need to do what I can however I can. Otherwise there will be no chance for me and I’ll be forced into tackling whatever it is and whatever I’m going on about.

I think I’ve left the rails quite spectacularly, but there still are so many words that I need to write that I wonder as to why I keep on doing this to myself. Therefore I might just stop right now and in that stopping I will find some sort of peace, or something. I don’t know.

I do know that leaving these to a period of time where I’m tired is not a good idea, so I should stop.

The time it took to write one thousand words: 10:57:29

There are quite a few issues with this one, but I like how it turned out. Kind of grounded, kind of a bit of fantasy.

Written at home.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1029: After Noon

Posted on November 13, 2021 by Stupidity Hole

Alright, so it is the afternoon. This is the time where it is after noon.

What a revelation.

So I sit here and not there and I type this and not that and I need to think for myself for a second. I need to think about what it is that I am doing and not doing and what I could be achieving by not doing this and doing that instead.

There are options and I don’t want to think about those. I want to think about these and I just want the answers to come forward to me in a way that gets everything across in a really easy manner. Therefore I wouldn’t have to put in the work and could be content in what it is that I’m doing.

Now that I have that out of the way I must continue my rambling. You see, there still are many things that I need to do and get across before I can announce any failure to progress in a way that is satisfactory.

I think that I’m struggling at this point and it’s not even half of the way into the month as of yet. This is not a good sign, but perhaps I can turn that struggle into success. I don’t know if I actually can, but I think I can and if I think I can and I keep on pushing through with that, then maybe I can get there. Maybe I can get to the end of this and then have the whole thing tied up neatly in a way that suggests completion, but I need to first work out as to how it is that I can make all of this struggle into something that leads to success.

I think I’ll need a lot of rope. The rope could help me swing to things and cast grand aspersions for no real reason. If I have enough rope then I might even be able to build myself a horse and ride off into the sunset whenever I want.

I’m a simple person and I like simple things, but I digress.

So the struggle might be able to be worked with using a lot of rope and that will somehow lead to success. That will lead to the defeat of defeat and I will be much happier for it, or something.

There is the possibility that I won’t be happier for it and all that I’m doing is setting myself up for defeat. However, if I get on top of things, then perhaps there will be no defeat whatsoever and then that will be the end of that. It could just be success all the way upward and then with all that success I may be able to help others where I can. However, I need to deal with the struggling first as that is getting in the way of everything and it getting in the way of everything means that I’m not getting nearly enough done.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 04:48:85

Probably could’ve been better.
This feels really unfocused and not in a way that makes for enjoyable reading.

Written at home.

 

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A Path Curving Away

Posted on November 13, 2021 by Stupidity Hole

I think the interesting thing about rendering this scene in monochrome is it makes it feel more gloomy than it was. It also feels more dry, though that may have more to do with the grass in the scene than anything.

I feel as though the amount of sky versus land here is close to being balanced. May have a bit too much sky, but I’m not entirely certain.

There’s a few different textures here and perhaps the monochrome doesn’t help too much in differentiating those, but I still feel that the scene works in monochrome.

This is my submission into Leanne Cole‘s “Monochrome Madness” for this week.
I suggest checking out Leanne’s photography, as well as checking out what other people submit.

A lot of what people are submitting will likely end up here.

I hope you enjoy.

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Cave In: Dark Driving

Posted on November 13, 2021 by Stupidity Hole

This was written over three listens, though one was heavily broken up and might not count.

I was looking mostly to just describe the song but I overthought what I was writing and so I don’t think this quite works. I feel it could be more descriptive.

Cave In’s “Dark Driving” is from Tides of Tomorrow.

I hope you enjoy.

—

Guitar flickers, and bass and percussion rumble along, stretching out and forming a basis. Guitar continues its flickering and blossoms for a moment before the vocals come in.

The vocals are high, the music keeps rumbling and one guitar follows the vocals. At points the music steps up for a moment, a guitar shimmers off, then the tension in the music returns and repeats the main rhythm.

For a moment things pull back and step as the vocals lower a little. It is a short moment, almost suggesting a sense of quietness. Then the instrumentation becomes louder and more aggressive in what feels like waves crashing. The vocals also gain more volume and sound driven, riding the instruments through the grit and drama. The instruments draw out, moving through some sort of passage before returning to their drive before almost coming to a halt. Shifting through and emphasising as the percussion beats away and the vocals stretch over.

A return to the opening sections, almost feeling like a brief respite. There remains tension, perhaps thicker. The short moment returns followed by a repeat of it with greater crunch and aggression. Once more the instruments return to pushing forward with greater volume, riding through passages, focused in direction.

Eventually the song finds its exit and the instruments pummel forward, coming off almost as menacing, locked into each other. The vocals draw out over, soft, though not calming, and fall back as noise stretches out at the song’s end.

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Vertical Grill

Posted on November 13, 2021 by Stupidity Hole

Here is a building that was part of these two photos.

This was a test shot but I like how it turned out.
I’m pretty sure I’ve taken quite a few photos similar to this one, but that has little to do with anything right now. Maybe.

I like the suggestion of height with this one. It’s probably roughly around the same height as a few of the buildings nearby, but it has this imposing feel to it.

I also like how the design in monochrome creates stronger contrasts between the visible sections.

This is my submission into the one hundred-and-seventy-third Lens-Artists Photo Challenge.

The theme for this one is “Interesting Architecture“.

I’d planned on getting a few photos of some buildings I know of that appear interesting, but alas, I did not. Instead I’ve gone with this one as it still is interesting I think.

I don’t know how showy this building is, but I feel that whilst it is obviously a building, it seems to be designed in a way to suggest the appearance of something different. Perhaps something more bland. Don’t know.

The challenge is hosted by four people and cycles weekly:

Week 1 – Patti

Week 2 – Ann-Christine aka Leya

Week 3 – Amy

Week 4 – Tina

This one is curated by Tina. Patti curates the next one.

I recommend participating in the challenges. They’re enjoyable and allow room for interpretation of the theme without straying too far. If you don’t participate, then I recommend that you at least check out what others of the Lens-Artists community are submitting.

I hope you enjoy.

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One Thousand Word Challenge 155: Real Light

Posted on November 12, 2021 by Stupidity Hole

It had been a long time since they saw real light. Sure, there were lights that were turned off and on from the odd occasion, but real light, that’s what they craved. That’s what they wanted to see.

For too many years they had been underground, sealed in some sort of cavernous space with little contact from the outside world, though they had begun suspecting that they hadn’t had any and those that they met during their exploration were in the same situation. However, the illusion of there being an outside world still had to stand, for maybe it was more than just an illusion and that was something that they had to hold onto. It kept them going, even if they questioned it to some extent. It kept them working to stay alive and it was something that may even help them get out of where they were.

Survival was always priority and the need to survive could also turn violent at times. However, usually any of those who were also underground were amiable enough. It was just that in this place seemingly cut off from everything, sometimes there would be a need to engage in aggression and even though that was avoided where necessary, conflict seemed inevitable. Thankfully it was usually fast and swift, and hopefully not fatal. If it was, however, then that was just an unfortunate thing that happened.

They had managed to survive mostly on wit and cunning and doing their best to not screw others over. It was easier for them to do so as it meant any sorts of deals and truces were more easily maintained and gained. They were trustworthy and reliable and so, even though there seemed no unified civilisation where they were, and most remained nomadic in some manner, word could still spread and word was good down here. It was almost like a currency and it could affect how much someone could be avoided or approached if either were required, for running into anyone else could be an uncommon occurrence at times. Many were solitary and preferred to roam, though those that didn’t would more often remain hidden than not, though there could come times where they too would become nomadic, if only to find a better place to stay hidden.

Of course there were others who tried to set up some sort of imitation of a village, though these were usually only a few structures functioning as shop fronts and homes; they’d be passed by almost as quickly as they were approached, and they had little on offer that couldn’t be gained with a little bit of work.

It was unsure as to how many of the other people down in this series of spaces craved natural light, but they did. They yearned for it, for they had been underground for far too long for their own liking. They weren’t sure as to how they had ended up there and they didn’t know as to what was their penance, and they didn’t even think about that so much anymore. They just wanted to get out. They wanted to find a way back to the surface and they wanted to do it as soon as possible. They were growing tired and they were losing a sense of hope that they had held onto for a long time. They were losing it to sheer determination to just do what they could to get out and that was a dangerous thing, for even though they were reliable and trustworthy and their being so had ensured that word about them kept was good, their being so readily set on getting out to the point could cause that standing to sour; something of which they needed to avoid at all costs, especially if they failed.

Still, sheer determination did not cloud their judgement and so they knew what they had to do to try and prevent things becoming more challenging than necessary and so they kept on eking out an existence, surviving how they could and remaining reliable. They were nomadic like many of the others, yet they had not seen the entirety of this underground network. However, they had seen enough to know where to stash things in ways and in places that would reduce the chance of their discovery, and so they had their own separate network, away from people, allowing them to remain prepared to some extent wherever they went, and also without having to worry about carrying everything that they could need at many given moments.

Occasionally there would be new faces found. Lost, confused faces, unsure as to what it was that they found themselves in. They often would stick to the areas with stronger lighting; areas that were artificial structures that somehow had found themselves underground. They formed their own paths, far more uniform in shape and structure and far less rough than the regular ground. However, those new faces would gradually move away from the perceived safety of these light sources, for they offered no sustenance and they offered no more safety than any other area. They would gradually become part of the greater space, moving around, looking to survive however they needed to as they gradually accepted their new surroundings.

Sometimes it was easy for them to try and converse with these new people. They might be able to get details of the outside world, and those stories were comforting, but it still seemed like an illusion at times. It was an illusion to cling to, but there was no denying that the years were wearing them down. They could find it difficult to believe in the stories and as such would occasionally see them as nothing more than the desires of others who wanted nothing more than to imagine a far more ideal environment. However, it still helped them keep on going and so they did, as did others, throughout a darkness with occasional lighting, looking for sustenance, rest, and whatever else was necessary.

The time it took to write one thousand words: 19:58:66

This was slow, but I’m glad that it was. I spent time thinking about this and, whilst it is really, really rough, it’s something that I feel may have promise.

Written at home.

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One Thousand Word Challenge 154: Looks Messy

Posted on November 12, 2021 by Stupidity Hole

So I’m looking at all of my recent posts and I’m looking at how many of them are writing and it looks messy.

Well, this always looks messy, but that’s beside the point right now. The point is that I’m looking at the recent posts and they look messy. I’ve still got a fair bit of writing to do after this one also and that is something that I’m not looking forward to, if I am to be honest. Sure, there are worse things out there, but this leaves me feeling not good, or something. Could be worse, but it could be better too really.

This whole issue of needing to write a lot is of my own creation and I feel as though I’m slowly burying myself. It’s not a good thing to want to feel, but it could easily be resolved. However, it won’t for there still remains a lot of words to write before the end of the evening and I am here, doing that so as to try and get back on top of things.

I’m burying myself, but I’m also pulling myself out of the mess that I’ve created. It’s a slow process, but I’m getting there. I’m slowly working my way out of this whole thing and slowly working toward something a little better. It takes time and there is some falling, but I will get there in time. Just need to keep on beavering away as they say.

Still, there are plenty of times where it feels as though the best way to go about things is top just completely give up and walk away. That seems like it would be the sensible thing to do, and maybe it is. Maybe it is more sensible for me to, at this stage, walk away from all of this and just stop entirely. However, that is not something that I am going to do at this particular point. There still are things that I’m aiming to do and they take some time and so I instead choose to try and get back to climbing onto all of the things as they fall away due to my getting them done. That is what I am trying to do and that is what I may succeed at doing.

Of course I could completely fail, but I am yet to and so I will continue to do this thing and I will continue on with whatever it is that I am doing that I’m not quite revealing, though I guess that it is pretty obvious at the end of the day.

Then again, is it?

Who knows.

Maybe I do know, and maybe I don’t. Well, I like to think that I know as to what it is that I am doing with this whole blog. Maybe I think I know but I don’t actually know and I’ve spent a lot of time misleading myself. That is a possibility that I need to consider as it could very well be true. Maybe I don’t know and I am doing the thing that I don’t know that I am doing, which is to say that I am doing the thing that this blog is all about and I don’t realise that I am doing such a thing. It is a mystery.

It is a grand old mystery that stretches beyond eons and makes the innocent cry and I don’t know if I can handle that. Well, I can, but I don’t want to know that I can. I would much rather delude myself into not knowing than go on knowing, for I don’t want to make the innocent cry. They’re innocent and I am not if I am making them cry, but more importantly, they’re innocent. They don’t need to cry due to my actions, though maybe they do and I’m not considering that.

There really is a lot to consider here and perhaps I need more time to think about all of this. It is all odd discoveries that I am now aware of and of course I now know a little bit less for knowing more. It’s humbling in a way and perhaps in that being humbling it also is a boost to the ego. Not sure yet, but I’m sure that, given enough time, I will be able to work out what is actually the case of all of this.

Then again, maybe I won’t. Maybe I will stay here and keep on twiddling my thumbs, not knowing a thing and going around in circles until I start going around in squares. There may be triangles along the way.

Maybe I’ll look at progressing to decagons at some stage, but I don’t know if I want to go through those many shapes to get somewhere. It seems a little excessive and that could pose a problem. Rather not be excessive and cut down on things where possible. If so, then I’m happy. If not, then I guess I have to stick to excess. If I have to stick to excess, then so be it, but I really would rather not as there are other things that I need to do and excess takes a lot of time and that is time I can’t be bothered expending even though I clearly am expending it as I write this.

So anyway, now that I’ve said all of that, I think I will get on with other things and then get on with other, other things. After all, there still remains a fair bit to write before the night is over and I need to get through it all with some sort of haste of the post variety, so therefore I will do some more. Then I will try and do some less. However, there may be some sort of order that goes against this and I’ll be thrown into some sort of chaotic state. If so, well, I guess I’ll just have to start this all over again.

The time it took to write one thousand words: 10:02:59

At this stage I don’t think I will do NaNoWriMo again.

This isn’t good writing in the slightest, but I don’t think doing something that means I’m writing more than usual helps.

Written at home.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1028: Too Long Today

Posted on November 12, 2021 by Stupidity Hole

Put this off for too long today and that is not a good thing as they say.

It is approaching the evening and therefore soon I need to do things that involve things happening in the evening, but writing comes first. It always comes first and I am always beavering away when it comes to doing the writing.

There is a low sound outside, as though the wind is passing on by somewhere. It is relaxing in a way, though it may as well not be there. It’s just a pleasant thing to hear, really.

There are many pleasant things out there that are pleasant to hear and I am hear to here them all. Well, I guess I can’t hear them all from here, but I can hear some things. My music is not up too loud which makes things a little easier, so I sit here and I listen and I hear very little. Perhaps that is due to it getting darker outside; I don’t know. What I do know is that I’m sitting here and I’m doing the thing and my doing of the thing is leading to the creation of this.

Should probably have a shower.

I think that I should probably walk away from the computer for a bit. Take a break, give myself a bit of rest. Let the rest take over and let everything fall into place. Once that is done, then I can move onto other things. I can wake up in the morning and find myself in a state of feeling refreshed. Feeling refreshed is always a good thing and that is something that I want to feel. Therefore, it might be best to pursue that avenue and see where it takes me.

Maybe it will take me nowhere. I could wake up and still be here, in front of the computer, achieving very little. I could also be in bed, feeling rested and be ready to take on the day that lies ahead. There could be many things that come from the act of resting and I am here for them, though only if they provide a benefit as I don’t feel much like waking up and being in front of a computer. I also don’t want to wake up tired. I don’t want to keep on writing this either, but I feel the desire to keep on going.

I feel the desire to persist despite it probably being much better that I stop. I feel it in me and I keep on going with whatever it is that I’m going on with. Maybe there are better things that I can do with my time, but I do this as I like the writing.

The blog, not for much longer, though of course that “not for much longer” might not come to be and it could still be a while before it comes to an end. However, for now the writing continues and therefore I keep on writing these words.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 05:28:78

This feels rather small, if that makes sense.

Kind of rambled.

Written at home.

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