What am I doing with my time?

I’m sitting here and doing nothing and that’s not what I want to do. Sure, the morning has been productive, but that’s the stuff that I need to take care of. What I need to take care of right now is a desire. It is a desire that is strong and unable to be quelled. It is the desire to write… a lot of crap.

Now you see I want to write about some wordlbuilding thing that I’m slowly working on but I won’t be writing about that right now as that might just take a lot of time and that is not time that I currently have. However, what I probably will write about is something that is not related to that in the slightest.

As said, I desire to write a lot of crap.

So anyway, I think that now that that has been said I need to get on with the getting on. I need to take a dive into the world of the turdbourgeois and see where ti takes me. Maybe I can pretend to intermingle with them all and hope for the best. I’ll rub shoulders and laugh at things that are not worth laughing at and I’ll pretend that I fit in, but really I’ll feel small and alone and perhaps I’ll feel like I’m abandoning something of myself in order to engage in something that I am not comfortable with engaging. I am yet to find out and… well, maybe I don’t want to find out. Maybe I would just rather stay here and ramble on and keep on going on about things that don’t matter. Maybe that is what I want to truly do.

However, that prevents me from experiencing things, but I still am experiencing a thing by doing that but maybe it is not the best thing. Maybe I just need to take off and go into the sky and all of that other stuff, or something.

Maybe then I could get a glimpse of the world beneath and think about it all and about how I’m pretty small and insignificant. Maybe I could think about that for a while, but I don’t think I’d want to as it doesn’t add much. Then again, it probably adds a lot and so therefore I’d have a perspective that might cause me to be unable to relate to the plight of other people, though maybe it will allow me to better relate. It is yet to be determined.

So anyway, I think I need to say no more and now get on with the blasting off and taking off and finding a way forward so that I can go forward. In going forward I will not go backward and I’ll find out what it is that it is that I need to find out, and perhaps in doing so I won’t want to rub shoulders but rather just run endlessly for hills that remain unreachable.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 05:05:39

There are parts of this that I like but I feel overall what is here is too messy.

Written at home.