Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1222: Ascending Later

Posted on February 13, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

Alright so I need to knuckle down but I’m just knuckling up and I don’t even know what that means. However, what I do know is that I am here and not there and we’re not going down this path again as this path is a dangerous one and as such it is not one I want to go down.

I need to look more inward and try and peel away the skin and all that other stuff and really get to the bottom of things. I need to find out what lies at the centre of it all and then see if I can go beyond there. See if there’s something far beyond the centre of the centre. It is possible that I will be led to something but I don’t know if I want to be led to something. I think I’d much rather just sit here and not worry about all the internalising and trying to get to a raw, pure version of myself that reveals all and removes all the anxiety as I come to terms with my existence and then truly ascend to a higher plane of existence.

I don’t want to do that as I like being here. I like the banality of life as there are the small moments that we treasure and those moments carry through time, even if they are forgotten. Those things are worth experiencing and so therefore there will be no ascending today.

Tomorrow may be a different story, however. Maybe it will be tomorrow in where I go through this lengthy process and ascend and then I will be wherever I will be and I’ll need to deal with that. Maybe I will spend my time trying to assist others in ascending too, but maybe that would be unfair. Maybe it is best that this is something that people reach on their own.

These are questions that perhaps I don’t need to worry about now. I might have an eternity later and if it turns out that I do, then I can start asking these questions then. I can try and work out what I need to work out at that point and if I can do that, then I know where to go next.

Of course there could be no working out, but rather endless debate that resolves nothing. Then again, maybe the lack of resolution is not the point, but rather the exploration of intent and pathways and meaning, for that can allow for some sort of growth beyond whatever growth I thought I went through, and so therefore that is what I should be considering. Maybe there should be no considering at all and just let everything happen. If the continual rumination happens, then so be it. If a clear answer is divined, then so be it.

Now that I think about it, this is far too much thinking that I want to do and so I’m just gonna keep sitting here. No ascending later.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 06:27:01

Decent speed. The writing is okay. Could’ve been better in a few places, I think. That said, I think the idea I almost explored is worth exploring.

Written at home.

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Ginger and Rosemary

Posted on February 12, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

This photo was influenced by this week’s Lens-Artists photo challenge.

I saw the challenge a few hours ago, thought it was something I would not be able to do as getting somewhere that would allow me to cover it would be difficult due to time constraints over the next week. Then I thought about what was in my backyard.

I dug out some ginger and rosemary, put them together and took the below photo. I tried to lightly interweave some of the ginger’s roots into the rosemary to see if I could get the two bits of plant to sit together. The combination could be seen as evocative of a heart if you consider it an abstract or purely symbolic representation, though that’s more in terms of form than actual constituent elements.

This is my submission into the two hundred-and-thirty-sixth Lens-Artists Photo Challenge. The theme for this one is “East meets West or North meets South“.

From a brief look, it appears there’s debate surrounding the origin of ginger, though it likely was from an Eastern society. Currently the earliest mention of rosemary is on cuneiform stone tablets which (I believe) originates from The Ancient Middle East (which is also known as The Near East from what I remember). It also has roots in Egypt.

This said, Rosemary is also associated with some Mediterranean countries and England. As such, I feel this photo meets the challenge.

The host of the Lens-Artists challenges cycles weekly between the following people:

Week 1 – Tina

Week 2 – Patti

Week 3 – Ann-Christine aka Leya

Week 4 – Amy

Week 5 – John Steiner

Week 6 – Sofia Alves

Week 7 – Anne Sandler

Week 8 – Guest host

Donna of Wind Kisses joined the Lens-artists team this year. It will be good to see how we can interpret her challenges.

Amy is curating this one. The next one is guest-curated by Bren of Brashley Photography.

I recommend participating in the challenges. They’re open enough to allow for a fair bit of thinking about approach and closed enough to keep focus on meeting the theme of each one. If you don’t participate, you should still check out what others of the Lens-Artists community are submitting.

I hope you enjoy.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1221: A Rambling About Caring

Posted on February 11, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

The heat is back on but I’m sweating through it. I’m letting my body do what it needs to do in order to get through a day where the temperature is up rather than down and I a here having to deal with it as there is no choice and so I need to get on with it and all that stuff.

You know, it’s kind of interesting on how people will avoid having to think about certain things. It’s interesting that people will work hard to reject the idea of having views that may support discrimination. It’s also interesting that people will work hard to avoid having to discuss things such as depression and suicide and all those fun things.

There is nothing wrong with having your worldview challenged, and there is nothing wrong with taking in new information that may lead to you having better and healthier views.

I feel that saying this in such a wide and open way may not be the best thing, but fuck it; I’m not overly fussed. We often sink into our views and opinions and find a point where we stop growing. We often ask how someone is without actually giving a shit, and we often avoid the possibility that someone we know may be suffering. I could say that this is a selfish thing, but to be honest, I don’t know.

See, on one hand I can understand the desire to pretend that everything is okay, and I can understand the desire to not want to have to think that you may not be right in a situation, or not be right about your beliefs. However, I think that actively avoiding it is far more harmful.

We are alive for only so long and so we should always try and grow and develop where we can. There is so much out there that we don’t know and there is so much out there that we can do to diminish creating more hurt, and we don’t. We pretend things with people we know are okay and when things might not be okay we pretend that they’re not as bad as they may be.

I think that, if you ask someone how they are, you should mean it and you should be ready for the possibility that someone is not okay. You should be ready to listen to them. If you’re just exchanging pleasantries then, well, why are you asking? Do you care, or are you just going through the motions?

How much do we care about discrimination? Do we care at all, or do we pretend to care? I can only imagine that there’s plenty of people who say they care and then when it comes to things that challenge our views they change their tune. There are things we are all responsible for; the largest is being better people.

I think that there’s more we can do. We shouldn’t burn out, but we should take better care of each other.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 07:57:63

If this seems angry, it is because it is.

Written at home.

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A Road into Vegetation

Posted on February 10, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

Just some road stretching off somewhere into the distance.

Getting this photo took a few attemps due to shadow in the distance as well as a few cars coming along. I probably could’ve gone a bit easy on the contrast in processing, but I think this worked out okay.

I hope you enjoy.

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Linckoln: Stars Breathing

Posted on February 9, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

One listen for this one.
Yet another song I’ve had queued up for a while.
I mostly was not actively trying to work out what to say with this one. When I did I didn’t linger too long which I think was good. I feel that, however, I may have been a bit all over the place but I like that I was able to touch on a few different things whilst still capturing the song.

Linckoln’s: “Stars Breathing” is from Dew.

I hope you enjoy.

—

Water flows peacefully and, among other sounds, gives a sense of the peaceful and idyllic. Soon something rises from underneath, however, and creates a sense of harshness.

Maybe it is not harshness, but rather dramatic flow of conversation. There is a sense of conflict, however. It is a sound that feels unnatural and it runs against a perception of natural, though maybe it feels unnatural due to not being easily discernible as something specific.

Keys soon trail off from this sound, as does something akin to woodwind. The woodwind disappears and more keys enter the space, more distant, and soon something that could either be the woodwind once more, or a facsimile of it appears. It gradually shifts and hardens and distorts, and spreads out and creates another level of conflict.

Perhaps this really is about the flow of conversation, but all seems to grow small underneath this new phase. The water remains and now sounds are less lively, or at least not lively in same way as before. Droning stretches out and elongates as it grows massive. The sounds become monolithic, gargantuan, and yet remain small. They create bodies that appear to have no end through connecting with each other, but they only exist in one point in time and are only that small point.

Eventually another sound bubbles up from the drones, and the water is distant, and the drones have grown warm and distorted, and that bubbling gradually rises in prominence, or at least it seems to have. There is something that could be profoundly sad here, and beautiful, and humbling, and yet it is none of those, but it is widening and it is grand, and within it something hums, and it grows more and more distorted but it remains as is and as was, and it continues on, and it begets something new and far beyond and pulsing and as bright noise, and it suddenly stops and the song ends.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1220: Struggle

Posted on February 9, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

There’s a lot of struggle that goes behind constantly churning out here, and sometimes I wonder if it’s more of a coping mechanism than it is a way to progress through things.

You spend so much time being told you’re this and that, then when you get into a position where you need genuine assistance it’s often not there, but such is the way of things I suppose.

I’m sitting here listening to the sound of cicadas and very much anticipating more than one person telling me that it will get better, or they hope things work out and even though I understand the sentiment that’s not something I think is helpful. Once more it is a need of financial assistance, though of course it’s more than that, but I’m sure you understand how these things go.

I’m continually punching on and pushing through and sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn’t, but the weight I’ve allowed to be placed upon myself and the weight that others have thrown upon me has gradually grown in difficulty to handle and I’m trying to overcome, but it’s hard. I need support and I ask and it’s not there.

Everyone’s making their own way through life and you can only take so much of other people’s time, but you can also only offer so much of yours, and how much can you keep offering if it’s not coming back? Realistically you shouldn’t help people with the expectation that they help you at some point down the track. You should help people with the hopes that they end up in a better place in life, but if you need help and you’re not getting it then what do you do? You keep pushing on through and you keep on trying.

You can’t always be strong, however, but it’s a lot harder to not be strong when you’re not in a position with a safety net, and I think that’s something that a lot of people don’t understand. You end up spending a lot of time having to harden yourself as you’re surviving on the paycheck and you’ve little wiggle room. You keep trying to get into a better position, you hear promises and guarantees that go elsewhere and you keep on trying and it doesn’t change. You remain in a state where you’re constantly having to be tough and pushing through and persevering, much like others, but you don’t get a break, but you’re still told that something good will come your way so you keep doing the things that you’re doing and you keep networking and you keep on pushing through and ultimately it amounts to a lot of wheel spinning whilst you’re off the ground, but you see others get ahead around you, and you’re happy for them.

When’s that going to happen for you though?

So I sit here and I keep struggling and persevering as right now that’s the best I can do, but I need help, but I can’t.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 09:44:49

This is a really uncomfortable write for me, but I’m still sharing it here. It’s where I am now and it’d be dishonest to scrap it and do something else, I think.

Written at home.

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Swirl

Posted on February 9, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

I haven’t played around with light drawing in a while and probably won’t again for a long time. Not something I think much about doing, but perhaps I should more often, but anyway.

This was taken around the same time as the two prior photos I’ve shared. I was trying to create a spiral that went outward from a centre. This sort of captures that, but I think it would’ve shown that more effectively had I paid more attention to perspective.

Regardless, I like the result. I’m reminded of ribs, and I like how there’s this small mass floating behind the lines.

I hope you enjoy.

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Face at Front, Shadow at Back

Posted on February 8, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

From this angle the skull looks a little more goofy, I think.

This was taken around the same time as yesterday’s photo. With this one I was trying to align so that it appeared larger and a little more behind the skull than it appears here. It didn’t quite work out, but I think in terms of light contrast the photo works. I also think the flowers mostly came out really well; They’ve a good deal of clarity.

This is my submission into Leanne Cole‘s “Monochrome Madness” for this week. Participating is pretty straightforward and something I recommend. If you do, then include the tag “monochrome-madness” in your post.
If not participating, then at the least check out Leanne’s photography as well as what other people submit.

A lot of what people are submitting will likely end up here.

I hope you enjoy.

 

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The Stranger: The Wind Is Blowing Cold Across The Moor

Posted on February 8, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

One listen for this one.

I think I was just looking to describe the song here. Didn’t say much.

The Stranger’s “The Wind Is Blowing Cold Across The Moor” is from The Stranger.

I hope you enjoy.

—

Dry and hollow droning seems to gradually rise, then pause and start again. Something else finds itself in the movement and it seems more mechanical, though perhaps that is an illusion.

During the next pause a brief hum and the sounds rise again, and something appears among the noise. It is some sort of imagery but it is difficult to work out what it is, or if it is anything at all.

Eventually a low rumbling appears. It is masked but it is there. It too is not the clearest and perhaps that suggests some sort of apprehension to the unknown. It likely is nothing other than the shape of land, but not knowing can often lead to hesitation.

For a moment the sounds lower and a bit more is revealed, and it remains a low rumbling, though in a much smoother form. Noise floats around as the rumbling takes a central focus, and the rumbling grows louder, or at least more prominent. It hums out an eeriness as the noise seemingly picks up.

Something that sounds like the remnant of a voice becomes part of the noise and sound twists and becomes harsh, and the rumbling continues, and all is of a calm harshness.

Eventually all lower a little and suddenly the song ends.

 

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Skull Flowers

Posted on February 7, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

Last week I’d planned to take some photos using a bike torch as a light source. I’m still going to take those photos but that was postponed to take a photo of this skull vase with flowers.

I went in with two specific ideas for framing. When I was taking the photos I tried a few photos  with the below framing, and I think this particular one turned out really well.

I think the light balance and level of detail works in favour for skull and flowers as well as their reflection. I also think the shadow works with the sense of distance. It’s there; it’s apparent and even though it seems far it remains close.

This is my submission into the two hundred-and-thirty-fifth Lens-Artists Photo Challenge. The theme for this one is “Shadows & Reflections in Monochrome”.

The host of the Lens-Artists challenges cycles weekly between the following people:

Week 1 – Tina

Week 2 – Patti

Week 3 – Ann-Christine aka Leya

Week 4 – Amy

Week 5 – John Steiner

Week 6 – Sofia Alves

Week 7 – Anne Sandler

Week 8 – Guest host

Donna of Wind Kisses joined the Lens-artists team this year. It will be good to see how we can interpret her challenges.

Patti is curating this one. The next one is curated by Amy.

I recommend participating in the challenges. They’re open enough to allow for a fair bit of thinking about approach and closed enough to keep focus on meeting the theme of each one. If you don’t participate, you should still check out what others of the Lens-Artists community are submitting.

I hope you enjoy.

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