Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1214: Reducing Heat

Posted on January 30, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

The rain is falling down and it provides a heat and a coolness that is as refreshing as it is not and that’s okay right now. It’s okay as I am ponderous and procrastinating and feeling a heat rising in me and it’s making me sweat and I’m not sure why.

It may have to do with all the pepper-based product I’ve consumed over the past few days. However, I’m going to ignore that possibility, even though it is likely the most likely possibility of the whole thing. Regardless, it is creating a weird situation where I can feel the cold but it is almost as though I am not experiencing the cold.

I sweat and I feel some breeze and it gently moves around me but I keep on heating up. I am getting hotter and more sweat is pouring out of my body and it is not pleasant, and maybe I’ll soon need to have a shower but that can happen later. Right now I need to focus on sitting as still as I possibly can so as to avoid getting any warmer. All activity is off the table. I must become like a stone.

So I sit here and I am still and I am moving in such a subtle manner I appear to be not moving at all. I become one with the space around me as I no longer disturb it, except for my being within it and thus reshaping the space by being present. I am mostly still. I am mostly motionless.

Soon something starts growing around me but I do not move for I don’t want to grow any warmer. I want to grow cooler but it is not working. This thing grows around me and soon I am unable to get up and walk away, not that I want to.

My skin grows firm and gradually it becomes firmer. Things seem to combine and they become heavier and I feel as though I am becoming encased within whatever it is that is growing around me. I am porous and I can see and I can feel an eternity but I am yet to grow cool and the rain outside continues on in its unrelenting assault.

I no longer have a desire to move and am content with what is happening and I am left to my thoughts but it remains warm inside and I am still yet to experience the cold. I am yet to see anything change other than myself. I have grown coarse and still and I am watching the land change around me and I am unable to do much else other than watch. I am ruminating on what is happening as I find myself as little else than a protrusion in a house that will slowly decay over time, and so be it, but I’d much prefer it if I were able to stop sweating. The cold is there and it tries to touch, but it cannot reach.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 08:23:66

The more I wrote here the slower my writing became and I think that’s okay. I might rewrite this tomorrow or another day without the constraint of a word limit against a timer and see what happens as I feel the idea could work if done a bit less on the fly.

Written at home.

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Running Swans

Posted on January 29, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

I’m fairly certain I took this photo in 2020 and I’ve held off on sharing it since, in part due to wanting to submit it to competitions and in part waiting for the “right” time. Not submitted it to anything (yet) and the right time is always now.

This was taken at Sydney Olympic Park at the brick pit. It’s not a great photo it makes me think about our need to think more about how we impact the environment, and how we need to do more to take better care of it where we can.

This is my submission into the two hundred-and-thirty-fourth Lens-Artists Photo Challenge. The theme for this one is “Messages“.

The host of the Lens-Artists challenges cycles weekly between the following people:

Week 1 – Tina

Week 2 – Patti

Week 3 – Ann-Christine aka Leya

Week 4 – Amy

Week 5 – John Steiner

Week 6 – Sofia Alves

Week 7 – Anne Sandler

Week 8 – Guest host

Donna of Wind Kisses, who has joined the Lens-artists team this year is curating this one. Next week Patti is curating and the theme has been announced in advance. Next one’s theme is “Shadows & Reflections in Monochrome”.

I recommend participating in the challenges. They’re open enough to allow for a fair bit of thinking about approach and closed enough to keep focus on meeting the theme of each one. If you don’t participate, you should still check out what others of the Lens-Artists community are submitting.

I hope you enjoy.

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Various Erosions

Posted on January 28, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

These were taken around the same time as these two photos.

There’s a bit of erosion in these photos. I think the first one shows the most tragic, though it’s likely unavoidable depending on your views on bush management.

The others are more natural and perhaps in a way they also are tragic due to the impermanence of form, but they are less so, I feel.

This is my submission into the two hundred-and-thirty-third Lens-Artists Photo Challenge. The theme for this one is “A One Lens Walk“.

These were all taken with a Canon EF 24-70mm f/2.8L II USM. These photos don’t do much to promote the lens, but they were fun images to take.

The host of the Lens-Artists challenges cycles weekly between the following people:

Week 1 – Tina

Week 2 – Patti

Week 3 – Ann-Christine aka Leya

Week 4 – Amy

Week 5 – John Steiner

Week 6 – Sofia Alves

Week 7 – Anne Sandler

Week 8 – Guest host

This one is curated by Anne. Donna of Wind Kisses, who has joined the Lens-artists team this year, hosts the next one.

I recommend participating in the challenges. They’re open enough to allow for a fair bit of thinking about approach and closed enough to keep focus on meeting the theme of each one. If you don’t participate, you should still check out what others of the Lens-Artists community are submitting.

I hope you enjoy.

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One Thousand Word Challenge 200: Some Complaining, a lot of Rambling.

Posted on January 28, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

And so once more I sit here and I wait for the sweat to happen and it certainly does happen. It is pouring out of me but I battle through it and I need to battle through it in order to think about what I’m writing about, though really I don’t need to do much of that as I’m… anyway…

So I’m planning on writing a little longer than I recently have and I plan to keep it up for a while but I need to dig into things. I need to dig into who I am but there is no journey here. There is no adventure of discover as all there is has already been and so I’m just reaffirming what I already know. That said, there is the chance that I might uncover something and in uncovering something then I guess I’d have to change this whole bit of writing into something else.

That’s not something that I want to happen.

If I am to prevent that then what I must do is sit here and keep on sweating and let the sweat get to me. That also is something I don’t want to do so I can only wonder if it is possible for me to split into two and deal with the issue that way. The whole thing will resolve itself and then I will have more time on my hands and in having more time on my hands I can get on with some other things and all that other stuff. You get the idea.

This heat is not the worst heat I’ve experienced. This is not that bad and yet it seems to pull the energy right out of me. It beckons and manipulates and I am here, limp and insipid and trying to push my way through a tunnel that is yet to form. Still, I must persist as there still remain many an hour in the day and so I need to get through it all and get to the end of it so as to be able to and so on and so forth for the nth time.

Still, it’s not pleasant. Not the worst; not the best. It could be much worse and it has been much worse so for that I am thankful.

Once more I’m trying to think about things and maybe the issue is not so much that I need to think of things so much as it is that I’m trying to think instead of thinking. I’m putting a barrier up and that barrier doesn’t need to be there, then I’m trying to work out how to get around the barrier. Of course you could argue that this is a good form of exercise but right now it does not serve me well. Still, it is a mode of functioning and it is a mode that I’ve made use of far too much and so maybe it is time to tear it down.

Like many things that I need to tear down this also is one and so I should start working at doing so. Maybe what I should be doing is chipping away and seeing if I can make it a gradual thing, or even reshape it entirely. I could get around it that way, but I also need to beat the heat and that is something that I cannot just beat that easily, though maybe I can. Maybe if I put my mind to it I can get around that too and if I can do so, then perhaps I am set. Perhaps I am ready to conquer all and then rise to the challenge and rise to the occasion and from there I will finally take off and reach for that which I delude myself into believing is rightfully mine. I think.

Then again I could just get on with reading the things that I want to read and forget about all of this fanciful delusion and just get on with the getting on. I could just also stay here and complain about the heat and not go anywhere with anything and that too would certainly be a decision.

Where was I going with this?

So I think that now that there is a bit of of a breeze the day might find itself settling down a bit and that’s nice. I prefer it when it gets cooler and I’m just complaining now but I think that in doing this I’m buying some time and I need some time so as to get a lot of time and with a lot of time I will get all the time so then I can work out what is being said here.

That all said I think that perhaps this is just about the act of writing; at least, that is what I am claiming and so I hope that claim sticks. If it doesn’t, then, well, I guess I could say that this is actually about self-sabotage as in a way it is. Of course it can be about many things and none of them really matter but that doesn’t matter.

Now I’m trying to work out what matters here.

When I started writing this I was hoping for something a bit more introspective and a bit less rambling but that’s not what I got. In a way that’s on me, and I guess all of it is on me, really. What can I do about this, other than sit here and accept that this is what came out? I guess I could do a lot but now it is too far into the writing to turn things around, but I’m fine with that. It’s a process of learning and exploring and growing and hoping that you get better, though some people are happy to not and that’s fine. There’s a lot to get from writing and there’s a lot to get from really digging into one’s sense of self.

Still prefer less heat.

The time it took to write one thousand words: 11:49:37

This was a struggle mostly to fatigue. That said, I don’t think this would’ve been improved by writing with more energy in me.

Written at home.

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Yuki Kajiura: Le Grand Retour

Posted on January 27, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

One listen for this one.

The first time I heard this song was a somewhere around the early to mid-noughties as part of a flash animation. I’ve listened to it here and there since as I find it enjoyable enough. Decided to write about it due to being up to it in a playlist comprised of a massive amount of music I’ve acquired over the past three years.

Anyway, I think it’s good that I was able to get the amount of words out that I did, but I don’t think I say much. A lot of this feels disconnected. It describes the song, but it doesn’t flow.

Yuki Kajiura’s (梶浦 由記) “Le Grand Retour” is from Noir Original Soundtrack II, one of the soundtracks for the anime known as Noir.

I hope you enjoy.

—

Rumbling, rattling and sound spreads out with a graveness. Soon woodwind comes in, uplifting, rising, looking to wake and bring forth. Percussion rolls out in parts; soon it all moves to a livelier state.

The beat is steady and sounds move forward, carrying a sense of adventure and openness. There is a grandness and perhaps spectacle and there is a beauty in it all, and perhaps also a sense of innocence, but soon that all suddenly disappears.

A greater tension; a menace comes through. Some sound draws long whilst others stay short, and they seem to crest over the previous landscape with a greater heaviness. It’s a different form of the same sense of dramatic.

The sounds grow heavier; the beat stays steady and more minimal whilst guitar plucks and chugs away, and it all moves to a point in which it can dissipate.

In the aftermath a bell rings out, strings draw and piano keys roll with a fragility. It seems all is lost and the keys are revealing those last moments, but it’s not long before the woodwind returns, heralding a second wind.

Soon the sounds return to the joyous and adventurous, moving beyond the heaviness. In a sense it is celebratory here and they all rise to that final moment and strike as the song ends.

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Mass Above the Land

Posted on January 26, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

A view from a place with a view.

I went a bit heavy on this one and I’m not sure I can justify it, but I like the result. It brings out the clouds pretty well, I think. It also makes this kind of sort of feel like a painting. Maybe.

This is my submission into Leanne Cole‘s “Monochrome Madness” for this week. Participating is pretty straightforward and something I recommend. If you do, then include the tag “monochrome-madness” in your post.
If not participating, then at the least check out Leanne’s photography as well as what other people submit.

A lot of what people are submitting will likely end up here.

I hope you enjoy.

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Eduard Artemyev: Stalker – Theme

Posted on January 26, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

Two listens for this one.
With the first I only listened so as to get a better feel for the song. I’ve heard it before but I wanted to go in with a slight bit more familiarity as my first listen was only recent. At least that is why I think I did the first listen.

Did it pay off? No idea.

I think the writing here is a bit stilted. I captured something but I don’t think I did a great job overall.

Eduard Artemyev’s (Эдуард Артемьев) “Stalker – Theme” is part of the soundtrack for Andrei Tarkovsky’s Stalker (Сталкер). It appears as though the soundtrack (or at least part of it) has been featured as part of compilations more than on its own, such as on Solaris, The Mirror, Stalker, a release combining pieces from the three films that form the compilation’s title.

I hope you enjoy.

—

Notes ring out as though flickering in a breeze among an open landscape. Soon woodwind comes in and moves through the notes which soon start moving with the woodwind. They move together through a quiet openness and they move with a steady space.

Something underscores the sound and rises up but never to complete prominence and soon a chiming sound joins the flow and it’s almost as though everything is coming alive. That underscoring returns and follows along, as does something reminiscent of vocals.

Once more sound pulls away and returns, and the journey takes on a new shape. It seems to pause for some sort of reflection and acceptance and holds until it is time to resume.

Full again in an open and vast space of quiet and perhaps of solitude, the sounds are together but they feel lonely and mysterious, but they keep on going as they fade out and the song ends.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1213: Time to Apply Myself

Posted on January 25, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

Another day of hiding from the sun; another day of hoping that it will get cooler sooner rather than alter but I know that hoping and doing are two different things and I know that I cannot control the sun.

I sweat in this room and I race ahead and try to get some things done before I head off but I’m just sitting here and sweating and not doing much of much else.

A lot of a little hard work but still gonna drive on to where I must drive to in order to get the most drive out of whatever it is that I’m trying to get done.

I think that that captures something but I don’t know what it captures, but anyway.

My fingers are tiring already but I am working through this as I need to work through this. If eel so sluggish but it’s a sluggishness I’ve created. Too much lazing about and not enough powering on through things to get to where I need to get.

I don’t like doing that whole “New year, new me” thing but I feel it’s important to try and be a bit more productive where I can and last year lacked a lot of productivity, I think. Some stuff done, not enough and you get the idea. Now is the time for me to really apply myself as not doing so lets me stay here but here is not where I want to stay.

I think that in saying this I have to admit that I have been productive, but I haven’t been productive in the way that I want to be productive, if that makes sense. The wheels have been turning but the vehicle is currently held off the ground. I’m going nowhere and I’m not growing and that’s a thing I should start pushing away from. You get the idea.

Right now I think my fingers hurt but I’m just racing forward and I’m trying to race out of this pointless cycle I’ve become comfortable with and I’m sure I’ll get there but I need to keep on pushing on to get there. I need to break down a lot of things and start taking a hard examination at what I am and am not doing. I need to tear it all down and maybe I need to start again.

Doing that will probably hurt a lot but it feels like it is a necessary step to take. It feels like at this point I’ve become stuck in a rut, admitted that I’ve been stuck and then chosen to stay there and that is not the way to go about things. That doesn’t help me and it doesn’t help anyone around me, so maybe now is the time to put the above into play. It’s a new year but it’s the same me but I’m just gonna chug on and start working toward something better.

Easy to say, but will need to actually make it happen.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 06:39:40

Sometimes I feel these would be better if I could think of better titles. Of course that has no bearing on the text, but it likely has a bearing on perception.

Written at home.

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Junya Nakano: Phantoms

Posted on January 24, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

One listen for this one.

I started this yesterday evening but I wasn’t satisfied with what was coming forward. I think I may have been too tired last night and so writing was a struggle. This came a lot easier than what I tried last night but I’m also more tired. Maybe I wasn’t tired enough.

I think this works. I think on another day I may have written something much stronger, but overall I think this works.

Junya Nakano’s (仲野順也) “Phantoms” (幻想”) is from Final Fantasy X Original Soundtrack, the soundtrack for Final Fantasy X. The soundtrack was composed by Nakano, Masashi Hamauzu (浜渦 正志) and Nobuo Uematsu (植松 伸夫).

I hope you enjoy.

—

Chiming sound in a quiet space soon finds itself joined by additional gentle sounds. They move in and the space expands and takes shape. Mystery and wonder comes forward and it is as though all is moving at a steady pace.

Soon the sounds take a little shift and more percussion comes in. Something weaves its way around the scene and the flow. It moves with a sense of stillness and soon it stops. Once more that early expansion returns and it keeps things feeling cool and easy.

Once more that additional percussion returns and the sounds move along in a unified form. They move elegantly, and float in the air, though soon much pulls away.

There is less now and a focus on a different motion comes forward. Something draws out and slowly things seem to wind down. They seem to become quieter, growing softer, letting that sense of mystery remain a mystery until all return to that initial expansion, and once more the sounds are releveling themselves. Once more they are spreading outward, but soon all fades out as the song ends.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1212: The Afternoon Drag

Posted on January 23, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

And so another afternoon draws to its rough middle point and once more I am sitting here, treating a keyboard horribly in the hopes that I can write really quickly. I do this in a great deal of pain but I push on through as I can still move my fingers pretty well, so I’ve got to get something done before the end of the day and the start of obligation.

I think I’ll get there, though naturally it’ll be pretty rough.

So anyway I bang away on the keyboard and push through the being in pain and I wonder as to how long it would take to get to where I need but I don’t know where that is and in not knowing that I think I’m a little lost. Maybe confused. Bewildered.

I look around and all I see is what is familiar but it holds no memory and it holds nothing and all I do is try to push through the pain to find some sort of meaning within these objects but all they are are objects that form shapes and imagery with no meaning or sense.

What kind of reality am I seeing?

I see what I see but I drift away as all things are just objects and some have a use and purpose but most are purposeless and exist only in relation to desire. Convenience is a great resource and something that can be relied upon but all it offers is more time to get distracted and procrastinate. There is littler here on offer that justifies itself other than fill time with nothing to do and little time to do it and all there are are shades and tones and stacks of things that don’t see use enough to justify their inclusion in this space. They are clutter and they consume space that could be better used for clutter that also consumes space but in a much more aesthetically pleasing manner, and that’s the real shame of it all.

Some of this stuff has practical design and so it does not look the smoothest, but it would be better if it looked more appealing, even if that came at the cost of longevity. It would be better for this stuff to exist in a manner that provides some sort of attraction in an eye-catching manner but it does not.

It would be better if the stuff raised more questions than it could answer and if it did no one would question it and maybe in that manner it would hold some sort of value but right now it doesn’t and so in not holding any value it is worthless refuse that sits in a room and I slowly float away from it all and into a void that I tore open and so…

Yeah, so anyway I’m in a lot of pain right now but I’ll survive. I’ll probably float around for a bit longer but I’ll survive and keep on resting for today.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 06:24:55

Bit of a tangent here. I think that I was either trying to express some sort of meaningfulness among meaninglessness or just express meaninglessness. No idea.

Written at home.

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