One Thousand Word Challenge 189: Zoned Out

Posted on August 5, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

I zoned out. I zoned out and feel as though I slipped into a completely different universe for a good few minutes, or maybe a good few hours. It is difficult to tell as time became another irrelevancy that I had to add to a list of irrelevancies.

I was doing my thing but I’m not sure what that was at that particular juncture in time, but I do know that I was doing it. I was doing the thing and just became absorbed by something. I think it was a complete nothingness. Maybe a complete blanking out that was not as complete as it actually seemed. I don’t know; it is difficult to tell. However, I know that I began to fall and as I was falling I was not aware that I was falling. I wasn’t even aware that I was.

I fell for a long time and in that falling there was nothing to tell and nothing to see for I was elsewhere. Sure, I was physically present, but my mind was so far removed and so blank at that particular time that no one would’ve been able to reach me. It was just the way I was at that particular point in time and there probably was something that I could have done about it but I doubt I had the awareness that would’ve allowed for me to do anything.

Eventually I stopped falling and suddenly there was detail. There was more detail than I could ever care about. This coincided with me suddenly returning to being present so I was thrown off a bit. I did not recognise what it was that was around me and having it there all around me with no forewarning was a bit of a surprise, to say the least.

Once I recovered from the being unable to recognise that which I saw I decided that it was time to try and work out where I was, though moving about was difficult at first. I think it had a lot to do with the amount of detail that I could see. It threw things off a bit and so I was sluggish and careful in my movements until I worked out where I could go and where I could not go, which you’d think would have been an obvious thing but with that much detail it was not.

I walked for what I felt was a long time, but it was difficult to tell. Time did not seem to pass and I did not seem to tire which was probably a good thing as it was at least a lengthy distance that I walked before I decided to take a quick break. Realising that I needed no break I then kept on walking. There was a lot to see around me but at the same time there was nothing to see. It was all fantastic but it was all familiar for I had seen it all before, though in a different form; I wasn’t sure as the familiarity was something that lingered at the corners and not something that made itself open and plain to see.

I did not sweat and I needed no water. I felt no hunger and I felt no slowing down, though I also felt no need to speed up either. I saw objects colossal in size as well as ones smaller than they seemed to be. Some things changed form as I approached them and walked on by, but they only changed as I moved. They never seemed to repeat a form and some changed shape much slower than others.

Often I would look toward the horizon but there was none and all could be seen, even at a far distance. There seemed to be no end and it all just continued on no matter in which direction I would look.

I walked and I thought about things. I thought about how there was no night and no day cycling and so it seemed that this location was stuck on afternoon lighting and I thought about how I was as liquid as I was solid. I thought about how my thoughts had some sort of physical manifestation that didn’t exist and I thought about what was going on and how it seemed to constantly matter due to the mystery and sense of adventure of it all… or at least a sense of adventure I was trying to impose upon my feeling of the situation as it made it a little easier to swallow.

I could have walked for years; I do not know, but I do not know, but I do know that I didn’t encounter any other person or organism that was recognisable as something I recognised, so I knew not if I encountered anything I could converse with. This was a place that was a filled with so much and yet so utterly empty and quiet.

Eventually I decided to stop walking and sit. I was getting nowhere and I had to think of a way to get out of the situation I was in, if there was indeed any way out of it at all. For all I knew I was stuck here and that was all there was to it. I had to make the most of the situation but I had no idea how to do such a thing.

I thought about this for a while and I thought about how perhaps I am no longer existing but living, but the issue is that perhaps I was living in the wrong way and perhaps I needed to both live and exist at the same time and so until I resolved that issue I was stuck here in a place where only I could live and really it was just some sort of odd conflict that needed resolution. I thought about many things until I eventually started zoning out, no longer being present until I was suddenly back at my desk.

The time it took to write one thousand words: 15:55:74

I think the combination of fatigue and the music I’ve been listening to this afternoon helped create this. That’s my excuse.

Written at home.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1133: A Series of Things

Posted on August 5, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

Overcast are the clouds today but it still is good walking weather.

I did the thing; I went for a walk. I go for a walk most days now but today I went for a walk… like most days. It was a walk most directed in a direction that was often considered forward. I’m sure some will disagree with this assessment but I can confirm that they are incorrect in their disagreement for I did indeed walk forward and not backward. There was no moving sideways; or at least, I was not aware of any moving sideways, though perhaps I moved slightly sideways. I am not sure, but that is neither here nor there.

I moved forward and I moved at a pace that is considered quick. It was a pace that perhaps I am not fit enough for, but it was one that helped me see ore than I usually would and so therefore it was a small success in a series of small successes. Therefore it was a good thing and I can consider myself victorious as I stand on the precipice of rest and relaxation after staring out form the precipice of going for a walk utilising the power of locomotive action in the forward direction.

I think I’d like to sit where I am right now so I will do that even though I am already doing that, so really I should say that I will continue to do that. However, perhaps I will need to stand soon as there remains many a thing I need to do before the commencement of another work day that gets away from me. I need to do things and in those doing things there are bits of things that also need doing and so it all ends up being a slow cycle of things being done in rapid succession. To be honest I’d much rather not do a series of things but a series of things is what must be done and I am just the person to get them done! I think.

So anyway, the sun shines on down and I sit here and not there and soon there will be the need to address obligation whilst it fights against the desire to procrastinate and I’m not sure as to what direction that will move in, but I’m sure that it will be an event that happens but only in a way that can be perceived by individuals and they will all see it differently and then something else will happen. I’m not sure as to what that something will be, but I am certain that it will be something and in knowing that I know that there will be other things, but I can’t worry about that right now. Right now what I need to worry about is yet to come but it is rapidly approaching and I can only grapple with one thing at a time so I need to make sure that I am ready.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 05:12:02

This came easy and it is messy but I’m fine with it right now. Probably won’t be later, but later is not now, for now.

Written at home.

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A Space for Viewing

Posted on August 4, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

Here’s a photo of the exterior of this spot.

Not quite sure what I was going for here, though I imagine it had to do with scene.
At the very least I know I wanted to show the design of some of this building.

I hope you enjoy.

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Ryuta Suzuki: The Buried City

Posted on August 4, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

This was written over one listen but there were a few parts where I stopped and rewound a little which wasn’t a good idea. I got more out but I could’ve waited for the replay. Oh well.

I’m not sure of exactly what I was trying to capture here. This does capture certain parts of the song well enough, but I don’t know if it does a particularly good job overall.

As a side note, this is a song I’d like to hear redone with different instrumentation. I’m pretty sure a lot of this is sample sounds of not the best quality. Maybe I’ll tackle it myself.

Ryuta Suzuki’s (鈴木 隆太) “The Buried City” (“埋葬された都市”) is from the soundtrack for Wild Arms 4 (aka Wild Arms the 4th Detonator), WILD ARMS the 4th Detonator ORIGINAL SCORE. The soundtrack was a collaborative effort between Michiko Naruke (なるけみちこ), Masato Koda (甲田雅人), Nobuyuki Shimizu (清水 信之) & Ryuta Suzuki.

I hope you enjoy.

—

Strings throb whilst a drone moves along in a hollowed space. The drone seems to get brighter before disappearing in time for percussion to come in with a slow and steady movement. A low synth joins and slowly oscillates whilst another sound briefly punctuates.

Soon the sounds start adding more movement whilst something else starts to shine in a distance. More sounds come in and reveal a melody that slowly develops. There is detail coming through and there is a sense of mystery that grows.

Eventually something akin to a piano comes in, building and emphasising as it makes its own way down through the sounds and, alongside the other sounds it shifts to something with a little more drama. There remains space and there remains a slowness and the percussion keeps beating away as the sounds sink lower and lower, looking for a realisation of an awareness.

Sounds of bass come and go and eventually sounds pull back, leaving more space. Suddenly all shift and the beat picks up more detail, though it remains slow. New sounds are bright and dim and muted and the melody continues in a form that is as similar as it is new. More strings continue on but they soon end.

Something seemingly heavier and perhaps a bit more tense comes in, seemingly showing something that is old yet familiar. Mystery seems to be revealing itself though this eventually gives away for something else where sounds flicker and flutter and float on a breeze. A back and forth seems to occur between strings and some muted brightness before the beat picks up once more but only for a moment.

Bass throbs and dulled brass comes in. Once more the beat returns and keeps things steady whilst all seem to reveal a grandness that is as large as it is small.

Gentleness carries through and sounds float on around and through scenery  that they themselves create. Space remains and softness follows the space and it is almost celebratory. Woodwind comes in and seems to emphasis the melody whilst all remains at revelatory, and it continues as such until the song ends.

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A Poem About Wind

Posted on August 4, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

There is so much to say about wind and this is what I settled on.
I could’ve written about the wind’s motion, or how it feels, or how it can be symbolic, but this is what I settled on.

Didn’t think about what I was writing as much as I should have.

I hope you enjoy.

—

The wind blows and howls and remains as it always has
It moves around, over and under what is in the way
It continues on and carries sound and rage
Almost as much as it carries quiet and calm

Leaves, seeds and dust ride the wind to where they must
Though remain unable to choose their location of departure
They do not ride the wind in the way that birds can
Though they often travel longer and shorter distances

Branches bend to the wind’s will
Though they bend until they they can resist
The body they are a part of changes shape
To one thought unfamiliar to how they should appear

The wind continues on to wherever it must
Eventually it reduces to little more than nothing
Though the reprieve is always temporary
As temporary and continuous as its remaining active

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1132: To Follow a Cricket’s Sound

Posted on August 4, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

There’s the sound of a cricket somewhere outside and perhaps it leads somewhere. Perhaps I will follow it to wherever it leads, if it does indeed lead anywhere.

I get up from my seat and I start walking and suddenly the room becomes longer but it does not increase in shape or size. I also do not change in shape or size and so I am perplexed. Still, I keep on trying to get out of my room but I am unable to make it and after a while of trying I realise that I am not moving anywhere. I realise that I am unable to move in any direction even though I am moving. I am held in place as though I have become unstuck by any rules that involve locomotion actually leading to motion in terms of moving through space more than just on the spot.

I try and try for some more time until I accept the futility of my attempts and so I try to sit down. I reach for my chair and try to move it and even though I can feel it moving, it does not. It remains where it is and so I find myself perplexed even more.

I decide to try and sit upon the ground underneath me and so I sit, but instead of going down I remain where I am. My legs lift off the ground but I don’t feel as though I am floating. The sound of the cricket remains and it seems to call out, though there is every chance that I am reading too much into the sound of the cricket.

I think about what is going on and I have no solution. I have no answer for what has happened. I have no reasonable explanation for I have never experienced anything like this. It is distressing and I am unsure as to how I should approach any further action. I move and I am still. I sit and I float, but I do not feel as though I am floating. I feel as though I am sitting on the ground. I reach for my chair and I feel it move but it remains stationary.

The sound of the cricket seems to grow louder, but there is nothing approaching. I remain unsure as to how I should approach the situation. I think about what will happen if I remain unable to move from where I am, but I try not to think about such a thing for too long as I need not the stress and spiral of despair that that could possibly lead to, so I try to push it out of my mind as much as possible.

The cricket’s sound continues to increase in volume. It seems to approach and it seems to call out, but there is something in it that terrifies me. It approaches rapidly and I cannot do anything. I find myself despairing, but before anything happens I suddenly return to normalcy.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 08:06:05

This was really easy to write. I was going a little slower than usual and I think that helped immensely. I think the end result leads to this reading relatively smooth compared to most of my rambling, and I like the overall tone, or at least its being suggested as this reads in a rather matter-of-fact way.

I slowed down a bit near the end as I didn’t want to push this beyond five-hundred words but I struggled to find a good way to wrap up the writing with so few words available so I removed a bit and made more space which led to one sentence reading more smoothly.

Written at home.

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Barnacles

Posted on August 3, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

I’ve been trying to work out which type of barnacles these are. Could be Chthamalus antennatus but I’m not sure.

Anyway, I took this photo when I was wandering around La Perouse. I was trying to get the framing in a certain way and I mostly succeeded. I was hoping for more of a gradient between the shade and light around the middle but I think the photo turned out well. Probably a bit more could’ve been in focus, but overall it worked out.

This is my submission into Leanne Cole‘s “Monochrome Madness” for this week.
I suggest checking out Leanne’s photography, as well as checking out what other people submit.

A lot of what people are submitting will likely end up here.

I hope you enjoy.

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Orbital: Dŵr Budr

Posted on August 3, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

This one was easy in parts and difficult in others. I think I started thinking too much at points; I’m not sure. Anyway, this sort of gets an idea of the song across. There are some parts here that work and some that don’t. I do feel, however, that overall this is writing about a song.

Orbital’s “Dŵr Budr” is from In Sides.

I hope you enjoy.

—

A low hum comes in, moves low, shifts and changes and seems almost to signify nothing, but there is a vague sense of emotion that carries through. It soon is joined by more sounds and slowly a form begins to emerge. There is something distinct coming forward and it takes its time to reveal itself.

Other sounds reveal themselves, flickering in and out of the vast space. The beat also comes in, almost gradually and almost quickly, feeling deft and lithe. A slow and quiet bass signifies moments and soon after vocals also come in, floating there, almost detached and otherworldly.

Strings accentuate the vocals as they float around and soon a bit more space comes in whilst another sound begins to fall almost in droplets. The voices seem to become detached whilst trying to hold onto a form of reality; other sounds stretch and something seems to be trying to reach out for some sort of connection, though it is also continuously buried. It cannot reach out and it cannot get a grasp and it soon falls under as much of the melody and sound pulls away.

Stretching sound and beat carry forward until something more mechanical in feel moves and stops repeatedly. Sounds more hard and harsh come in, moving in ways that seem off in relation to what came before for they move and slide with the same smoothness but they also seem more calculated and angular.

Sound pulls back whilst additional percussion comes in though it feels empty. Then sound returns with additional points marking and emphasising and something seems dark and heavy. There’s a bit more menace and edge in the sound; a bit more aggression.

Voices return and seem more attached and rooted, though they are also quite buried. They seem to be barely floating among the sounds and could be erased at any given time. Still, they link with other parts and manage to carry on.

Soon much of it drops away, leaving some percussion and voice until that too stops and the song ends.

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One Thousand Word Challenge 188: A Series of Banalities

Posted on August 3, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

Day. Sun. Clear skies and all those other things. There is little to say at the moment and yet I will find a way to say whatever it is. I will scrape from the bottom of the barrel and then once that has been scraped I will scrape into the bottom of the barrel.

I am tired and that is my own fault. This fatigue is of my won creation. Soon I will be going outside and the end result will be more fatigue. There will be a stretch of nothingness and in that nothingness perhaps everything will happen. Perhaps all in a singular moment everything that ever was, ever is and ever will be will happen all at once. It will be an experience. It might be too much but it also might not be enough.

I think that in saying all of this I need to think about what it is that I am really saying. Maybe I’m just looking for a thread to follow and that thread could be anything. It could be something in the writing, but it could also be something on my desk. Maybe it is the voice that is coming from my speakers. I am yet to find out but I am sure that with enough time I will eventually find out as to what it is, if there is even a thread to follow at all.

Perhaps there is nothing and I’m just here in a void. I’ve scraped together everything that I possibly can and so there is nothing left. There isn’t an exit as I made use of that too but I don’t know what I used it for. I’m sure it is buried somewhere among all of this stuff.

Maybe I can make use of the nothingness and somehow turn it into something, though I’m not sure as to how I’d go about doing so. I’m sure there is a way, however, and perhaps it is up to me and only me to do what it is that I need to do in order to make the nothingness into something. I have all the time in the world, though maybe I don’t and maybe what is really going on is that I’m dreaming a dream that no longer exists and as such I need to wake up from said dream.

It is a dream where I’ve lived a whole life and grew old and all those things and then I woke up, and in waking up I am confused. I am confused and I am thrown off, but soon I fade more and more into reality and become aware of what it is that had happened. I had lived a whole life and now that life no longer was, but I would tend to think about it. There was no nothingness and I was always there. I was always there and present and all those other things, and now I need to find a way to get back, but there is no getting back for the dream is now over.

Days would drift on by and there would be a sense of unrest as I would not want to slip back into a routine that seemed less real than the dream that I had and so I could travel. I could travel and see the world but that dream would forever reman a dream. I would keep on going and I would move through life and in moving through all of it I would have no choice but to accept that which I chase can never be had and so I would see things whilst buoyed by listlessness, for chasing that which is external in order to recover that which was once internal and now no longer exists would be foolish in this particular instance.

And so I drift through a series of banalities, fading away in terms of presence though it will appear as though I am there, but eventually the ideation of the dream fades away and slowly I come back into the room proper and find something else, but a certain itch always remains, even though its source is no longer something remembered.

Eventually, however, something may just present itself that will remind. Something that was thought to not exist but did, but it was never noticed. Perhaps a thread that can be followed will present itself and that thread will incite curiosity. However, do I dare follow it? Do I dare go where the thread leads?

There is so much to consider at this point and I don’t even know if it is worth considering. A dream was let go. It was able to rest and it was gone and there was no returning and finally there was a return to life. There was a return to life as I once knew it and so I got on with things.

However, now I can now know more about what was. I can return and experience it all again… maybe. Maybe it was just a dream for a reason and maybe I am merely tearing myself up for no reason.

In my indecision the thread disappears, making the choice for me and so I get on with life, left wondering about what could’ve happened even though I understand that there’s no point in considering that when there are other, more important things to worry about. However, lingering thought remains and I find myself drawn further and further inward into a deep nothingness that seems to pour on out without the slightest of difficulty, and I am beholden to it all and almost powerless to do anything other than consider the alternatives well beyond a time when they are worth considering, and I do this until suddenly I find myself pulled into a grand nothingness where everything has been used and all there is is a void. I can only wonder as to how I get myself out of this, but all I can do is ream.

The time it took to write one thousand words: 14:03:22

A little surprised this turned out the way it did but I’m okay with the result.
It’s a little longer than it needed to be but it kind of went somewhere which was nowhere which is more than can be said for a lot of things I write.

Written at home.

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Off to Deliver Cargo

Posted on August 2, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

A cargo ship, though there may be two in this scene.

I was trying to capture a sense of space and I think I got that across with no issues whatsoever. Feel I could’ve done a better job with framing, however.

I like how the clouds are sitting in this one as it’s almost as if they prevent anything being filled in above them. They’re almost a barrier.

I hope you enjoy.

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