I think I don’t know as to where I need to be in order to start, but I know that slowly drifting away isn’t serving me any favours on a hot little plate.
I guess I need to grapple with the chain that will lead me back on down to the ground but I don’t want to go there. I want to go elsewhere, but perhaps there needs to be a bit of time back on the ground. Still, all these sights and scenes that keep on running by, flowing as though the river were firm and resolute in its need to head out as the tide recedes… these are the scenes that right now have a need and desire to be seen and if I am here, watching from high on above and floating on by as they float on by, then who am I to stop the procession of imagery? Who am I indeed?
I don’t think I have the power, nor the desire to stop any of this and therefore I need to keep on going and somehow tear myself in two so I can get more and more done. That way so long as the things keep on going the way they are there would be more than one of me to be able to absorb it all. Maybe I need a decoy instead. Really not sure about that one.
However, right now its a matter of resisting the need to fulfill obligation so as to fulfill the need of desire and I don’t think that tearing myself in two is a practical use of my energy, now that I think about it. There probably are other things that would be much better, now that I really think about it. Maybe I should just get moving on and follow the currents of the air and see where those take me. Maybe it will be a better experience than the one I am experiencing right now.
However, as the sun sets and I desire to chase that too, I know that I cannot for I am firmly within the gravitational pull and my strength is not strong enough, no matter how much I try.
I keep on stronging, but it changes nothing in regards to this, so maybe I should just float along and hope for a change to come about on its own, but the birds are calling and boy oh boy are they ever. I try to glide with them but of course my indecision leaves me stuck here and maybe, just maybe I was never floating along at all. Maybe I just need to get on with it all and see where it all takes me, but I know that I’m flowing on to somewhere, even if the destination is faint and more of a dream and an illusion than it is something that I can truly grapple with and face and finally say that I have arrived at, so instead I’ll go home.
The time it took to write five-hundred words: 05:00:88
I have no idea where this came from. I know there were points where I stumbled and started thinking, but otherwise I can only throw my hands up in the air.
Written at home.