Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1112: Where did the day go?

Posted on June 12, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

Where did the day go?

It started this morning and now it’s already afternoon and soon it will be evening and this is not acceptable, as far as I’m concerned.

Time needs to slow down some more. It needs to slow down and allow me to get a bit more done. I’m on my lunch and I’m mashing this out as I don’t have much time left, but I need more time. Time can slow down a bit more right now. It has gone by too fast and I don’t know what to do about that, if I am to be honest. I do know that I could try and speed up myself, but then time might speed up more to compensate and that is something that I don’t want to have to deal with, so I’ll hope I will not.

What do I do here? How do I go about things? Is there even a thing to go about? What if there is no thing and I’m just struggling with whatever it is that I’m struggling with and through the struggling time has accelerated far beyond what I would deem as reasonable? These are the questions that I ask, but there is no answer; only mystery that I cannot dispel and thus must learn to live with, for sometimes the question needs not an answer and only exists to make one think and really I just want to think.

Well, I want more time to do things and thus I want time to slow down a bit, but I cannot do an thing about that right now and really, there probably is an answer the questions that I ask and I just want to pretend that there are no answers as that makes me sound more profound or something. I am yet to work this all out. However, maybe I will work it all out… at a later date. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but later. Maybe today. Maybe tomorrow. Not yet determined, as it were.

I think these things but really what I just need to do is accept that the day is fading away and I need to make the most of what time that I have. If I do not do that, then I don’t know what to do after that or even before. It’s all happening and I sit here and I hope, but hoping isn’t getting me anywhere so I just need to do other things and slow time down by going on a quest, but I’d rather sit here and do nothing then wait for success to come my way, come what may.

So anyway, I think that with that being said I must now work on slowing down time so as to be able to get on with some other things and I will work out how to do it through methods I do not yet know, but surely will at some point in the future which is yet to be determined.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 04:36:83

As I was writing this I was trying to rush as I thought I had less time than I actually did.

What a mess this is. It’s sloppy and uneven; it’s pretty rubbish.

Written at home.

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A Poem About A Mental Block

Posted on June 11, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

This one was a little easier to write than I thought it’d be.
It offers nothing more than a rough sketch, but it does come after a fair bit of overthinking things whilst not committing them to text.

I was hoping more to write about the changing of seasons but I didn’t and so this came out and there’s not much to say. It’s pretty direct and rough. That’s about it really.

I hope you enjoy.

—

I spend my time looking for words
Hoping to describe in a display of meaning
The changing of seasons as the passage of time

I try to let the words flow forward
As autumn begets winter through gradual grace
But try as I might, they do not step forward

Perhaps they should flow naturally
In the way the temperature should steadily lower
However, I cannot stop trying

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Nighttime Port Work

Posted on June 11, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

Here’s a long exposure of the slight variety.

I was trying to capture the port in a certain way and it didn’t quite work out, but I do like how the light trails almost look like they aren’t.

I hope you enjoy.

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Killing Joke: On All Hallow’s Eve

Posted on June 11, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

This was sort of more of an exercise as I haven’t done anything today and I want to avoid doing anything too late in the evening.

I feel I should’ve gone for a few more listens and maybe fleshed out the writing, but alas, that was not to be and so I am now with these words that seem to lack a bit of depth and all that. Rather surface, but most of my writing is so it’s not different from the norm.

Killing Joke’s “On All Hallow’s Eve” is from MMXII.

I hope you enjoy.

—

A groove over something sounding like vocals descends and it seems much in a celebratory manner. Guitar plays simple whilst vocals soft and processed express a fondness for those that once were.

Soon the sounds explode and become massive and far more impassioned. The vocals raise higher and all is wide and even more celebratory.

It does not last and soon the groove and “softness” returns. Gentle vocals coast along sounds and it seems more like a slight build, but soon there’s a return to massiveness.

There is a sense of respect and celebration, of festivities and a sense of reverence. Whilst a slight sadness, all is joyous for that which was and the sounds continue on, gelling together well. However, it does soon end and pull away, and after most stops a slight bit of guitar seems to fray as the song ends.

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Junya Nakano: Underwater Ruins

Posted on June 10, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

This feels like it was easy in parts and that’s all I have to say really.

I was trying more for imagery over anything else and whilst I got that forward, I don’t feel I did as well as I could have.

Junya Nakano’s (仲野順也) “Luca” (“ルカ”) is from Final Fantasy X Original Soundtrack, the soundtrack for Final Fantasy X. The soundtrack was composed by Nakano, Masashi Hamauzu (浜渦 正志) and Nobuo Uematsu (植松 伸夫).

As I’ve been listening to this soundtrack (it may now be my favourite game soundtrack) I’ve found that Junya Nakano’s compositions are really strong. Everyone’s compositions were quite good, but Nakano’s work here generally being less active worked really well where it was used.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy.

—

Light gradually fades whilst slowly descending underwater. It fades away whilst other sounds draw out. Percussion echoes a pattern out and a new world reveals itself. There is a gentleness but there is a pressure and things seem otherworldly.

Sounds remain muted and muffled and soon it all seems to build toward something when the shimmering returns, but this time it seems to be coming from elsewhere. Atmosphere pushes out and a memory not experienced reaches out among the deep of the ocean. With a grace creatures out of reach move about, only revealing some of themselves. Soon they and the echoing sounds fade away as the song ends.

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One Thousand Word Challenge 182: Mashing the Keyboard

Posted on June 9, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

I’ve been home for a short few minutes as I went for a walk this morning. During the walk I realised that my hands were pretty warm from the walking and so I figured that I should try and write as soon as I got home (or shortly after) so as to capitalise on this as I’d be able to write a bit faster and I still want to mash out a bunch of words which is much easier to do when my hands aren’t cold, though it would be a bit easier if I spent more time practising instruments or at least exercising my wrists as injuries have that fun way of slowing things down when you don’t pay enough attention to them, but I digress.

Well, there isn’t much I can say at the moment as I’ve thrown myself into this. Really I’m just going to see how quickly I can get this done. Then I’m going to do another one and that will probably also be a bit quicker than recently, but it will all be a mess. Sometimes a mess is good but you do need to clean up after a while. I also like self-sabotage and in a way this is a form of that and so really I’m just engaging in that and maybe this is what the whole thing is about.

Now that I think about it, I’ve moved far away from what the initial scope of this little blog was and maybe that’s a good thing. I don’t know and right now I don’t care. I’m just racing ahead with no will or desire other than to get to the end and hope that somehow I make it in one piece. I’m not sure how long this bit of writing will be but I’m sure it will have length. We’ll just have to see what happens when I reach the end and then I’ll look back on it and wonder as to why I wrote any of this; Well, maybe I won’t, but we’ll just have to see what happens.

Maybe there is no happening really. Maybe I’m just imagining all of this in the hopes that this all becomes reality and then I’ll wake up and find myself elsewhere. It will be somewhere unfamiliar but I won’t feel lost and if I don’t feel lost then… well, I don’t know. It will all be mysterious in some manner that I will not be able to easily understand and maybe trying to understand will not be the best thing anyway. There are other things to worry about and all that and so I’ll just get on with life and try to make the most of what I can.

Maybe there will be a community and they will accept me, but not without some trepidation and so I will need to earn the trust and integrate myself. I’ll start by doing the things that I need to do and trying to be helpful and maybe I’ll end up opening a bakery of sorts and that will help the people by supplying some sort of comfort food that isn’t all that helpful, though maybe it will be; I am yet to find out. Then I will find true happiness and all that other stuff and then I’ll just go on from there.

Of course I may have to go on a journey at some point and in that journey I will need to do things like cut down a mountain with the mightiest shoat and challenge the skies using the finest of coelacanth. I’ll need to face the grandest of ravines and the direst of situations, and perhaps during the whole thing I’ll learn that the mightiest villain is not external, but rather internal to the existence of the self. I’ll come back changed and resume my being a baker in the most appreciated of bakeries, but I won’t be able to settle properly and after a good many years I’ll have to return whence I came. Then I’ll wake up again and realised that I lived a whole life in a dream and find myself needing to go for a walk so that I can get on with the day. In doing that I’ll go for a walk, find my hands are warm and then need to ramble on when I get home whilst my hands remain warm so as to be able tow rite out a whole thing about the experience and disguise it as a lengthy rambling, but of course that won’t happen, though maybe it will. I’ve yet to experience and yet to not experience it, though I guess I’m not experiencing it right now, so we’ll just have to see.

Anyway, with all of that being said I really should just get on with the day. There is much to do and there is little time in which I have in order to do it. I want to get things done but I want to finish mashing the keyboard first, so this needs to be done first.

Well, actually it doesn’t need to be done. I don’t even need to finish this off. There is little in the way stopping me from ending this here. However, I feel a sense of obligation and a sense of desire to keep on going. Perhaps it is all the rambling I have done. Perhaps my whole existence is now just rambling and I don’t exist outside of my creating these lengthy bits of aimless rambling. I have become a pure form of rambling but it’s all rambling that is poorly done, but that is okay as it is something that I do and I will have to keep on doing it for that is all I do and there is nothing else for me to do, other than the things that I need to do, of course.

Alright, I think I’m done with light existentialism for now. Time to do other things.

The time it took to write one thousand words: 09:27:73

I’d argue that this went places and none of them worthwhile.
That said, there sort of is a flow, albeit a rough one. Maybe that’s a good thing; maybe bad.

Written at home.

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One Thousand Word Challenge 181: The Aimlessness of an Aimless Ramble

Posted on June 8, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

Right now I want to write with some speed. I know that recently I said I need to slow down a bit, but I’m really in the mood to mash right now and so mashing is what I want to do. However, as it currently is, the cold does not want to allow me the choice to do so and so slowly is how I must write.

Maybe it’s not actually that slow and I’m just deluding myself, but… yeah… anyway…

So it is a long afternoon and perhaps that is the way it should be. Get more done now rather than later and then just get on with whatever it is that I need to get on with. Sometimes you succeed and sometimes you don’t. Sometimes you just prolong, but you do make use of your time and all of that stuff.

Not sure as to where I was going with that.

It is a long afternoon and I’m sitting here wondering as to how I can write faster and perhaps that is not the thing t hat I should be thinking about. I should probably think about how I can make my writing better instead, but I don’t know if that is something that I feel like considering right now.

I probably should.

Anyway, the day is long. I sit here and I type and I listen to music and I try and add some sort of meaning to the banality of it all, but I wonder as to what the point is, if there is even a point at all. I also wonder as to how long it will take for me to finish this off. I hope it will be less time rather than more time, but what is considered less and what is considered more? It will always take more time, but I want it to take less than more so as to ensure that less time is used rather than more time, even though finishing this will always take more time.

It’s a conundrum of my own creation.

Perhaps I could just go on about the length of the day and see where that leads. I don’t think it will provide anything useful, but then again, maybe within the minutiae lies the answer to all and suddenly a depth unlike any other finds itself revealed to all. Suddenly the realisation that all of this made sense and was not necessarily a waste of time comes forward and all shall rejoice about this new discovery.

In this rejoicing there will be celebration and all that other stuff. There will be jubilation and there will be lots and lots of success. I will, however, ruminate on what it is that I engage with and wonder if victory truly is worth it all, or if I am just fooling myself into believing that it is. Then I will go on a long journey in order to ruminate upon things and truly work out as to whether it was all worth it. Then I will reflect upon myself and who I am and what it is that I want and all of those other things…

Wait; I wrote about that yesterday.

Anyway, there will be lots of celebration and joyousness and I will try and be the best that I can and then I will wake from my daydream and find that it is evening and I’m still sitting here, prattling on about things that are not overly important. I’ll wonder what I’m doing and then I’ll get back to doing it in a way that shows that I am indeed doing things whilst experiencing time moving slower than I had hoped. Such is the way of things but you do what you can where you can and how you can.

But seriously, I should get up. I’ve sat here for long enough and need to take a bit of a break. I need to rest my eyes and do other things for a while. I need to engage in the experience of routine cleaning and taking out the rubbish so I can get back to sitting here and spacing out whilst I try to work out things in the hopes that I get somewhere that isn’t the place where I started. Well, it could be the place that I started but there needs to be some sort of change.

Then again, if there is no change that still is something upon which I could ruminate. I could think about things and think about why there was no change. Perhaps there is change in that, but it’s not change that I’d notice easily or something. I don’t know; I’m just thinking about things and wondering and trying to work out why it is that I’m writing all of this out right now. This is loose and there’s little connection (or is there?) and I feel like doing this bit of writing might not have been the best idea I’ve had. Not the worst, but not the best either.

Well, I guess with all of that being said it is time to wrap this up and move toward the next thing. I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know that it holds something and I’ll need to grapple with that at some point in my life. I know that if I grapple with whatever it is that the future holds, I’ll be able to go on and then in going on I’ll be able to take care of other things and… well, I think I’ve said all that I can say, really.

Actually I can say more but I don’t feel like it. It’s cold and I’m complaining and I’m thinking too much about this and not enough about what I need to do for the rest of the evening. Could be worse however, and so I’ll try to not be too heavy, or something. Whatever makes sense, or does not; it doesn’t matter right now.

The time it took to write one thousand words: 11:00:71

Not sure why I wrote this. I feel that I may have been too disjointed in thought when I started and it carried on through and… well, the result speaks for itself.

Written at home.

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Nighttime Framing

Posted on June 8, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

Here’s a long exposure of a bridge that I’ve taken photos of before.

I took a long exposure due to wanting to see how it would turn out. Had to have a few goes of it due to various reasons and this is probably the best of the lot.

I think the bridge came out well enough. Probably could’ve done better but I like that the structure remains clear. I also like the way the light falls on the arches. It almost seems like a plume of sorts.

This is my submission into Leanne Cole‘s “Monochrome Madness” for this week.
I suggest checking out Leanne’s photography, as well as checking out what other people submit.

A lot of what people are submitting will likely end up here.

I hope you enjoy.

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Masashi Hamauzu: The Gapra Whitewood

Posted on June 8, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

This ended up being over two listens but I didn’t write much for the second.
After the first I felt I could write more but on the second I found myself not adding much. Oh well.

I sort of remember the setting for when this song plays but it has been a good long while since I went through that part of Final Fantasy XIII, so I feel that in a sense that distance worked in my favour. Not sure. Regardless, it wasn’t enough for me to get a good deal across and so this feels incomplete.

Masashi Hamauzu’s (浜渦 正志) “The Gapra Whitewood” (“ガプラ樹林”) is from Final Fantasy XIII‘s soundtrack, Final Fantasy XIII Original Soundtrack.

I think I spend too much time writing about music from The Final Fantasy series.

I hope you enjoy.

—

Whilst low notes draw out a shaded palette of shining sounds spreads out. Slowly a form and melody become apparent and a sense of peace comes through. Beat comes in and it plays quickly but remains calm and seemingly distant in a lot of places. Vocals spread across and seem to carry a sense of sound more than they do a sense of word.

Soon it shifts and sounds draw out more. Some sounds are brief wisps that shine on through; others are a form of beauty that carries through the vegetation. The wonder of the environment is stated and whilst it is new to experience, it also seems familiar.

Gentleness moves on as the sounds continue on. Sounds draw as others compress and it carries on through with that sense of wonder, but only briefly and it all seems to stop.  A sound steps and dots, left to trail off on its own, and the song ends.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1111: Gonna Complain

Posted on June 8, 2022 by Stupidity Hole

It is cold once more and I am going to fight against it the only way I know how; Not by staying warm, but by bitterly complaining about the fact that it is cold. Sure, I could stay warm. I could get warm and then feel better about the whole thing, but why would I do that? That gets in the way of complaining so I will complain. I will complain until I can no longer complain. Then I will complain some more.

Today feels like it will be a busy day and that’s a good thing. It is good for today to be a busy day as I need a day to be busy. Of course, I need it to be busy in the way that I want it to be busy, but that’s not going to happen so I will complain about that also. I will complain that I won’t be able to choose the kind of business (although I can, but that’s beside the point) and I will complain about the fact that I am beholden to the needs of the business to be dealt with in a way that I don’t want to as that means I don’t get to be busy in the way that I want to be busy.

I will complain about everything as that is what I need to do at the present moment. Well, I don’t, but that is how I want to deal with everything and so that is how I will deal with everything. Sure, it’s not necessarily the most effective way to go about things but it is how I will go about things. I will do it and in doing it I will get to some thing and then I will rest. I will rest and take it easy, even though I don’t know what “it’ is at the moment, but I’m sure that will enough exciting chapters along the way I will work it all out.

Maybe I won’t, but you never know until you try. At least there will be something more to complain about once it is all said and done, or done and said.

I think that it is a nice day and I do not like that it is cold as I know that right now I can move much faster than I currently am, but it being cold gets in the way of that and so I should try and warm up a bit, but that’s not going to happen as that gets in the way of complaining and that is something that I don’t want to have to deal with at the present moment.

I think my typing is getting worse. I think I can complain about that too, but if I don’t I will complain about not complaining and that is how it will all go down, or up, depending on which direction I feel like complaining in though that’s something that won’t matter so long as I complain.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 04:51:58

A bit faster than I expected due to the cold slowing my hands.
I think this one works as a silly bit of writing. Beyond that, not sure.

Probably could’ve been smoother.

Written at home.

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